UPJOKE
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Surreal Jokes

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

Jack, a renown atheist, dies...

... and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself.

Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith"

Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here, ...

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Cows

**Edit: Just to make it clear, I am not taking credit for the joke(s). I just merely found it/them whilst browsing around and thought you guys would appreciate it/them.**



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour



COMMUNISM

You have 2...

Did you hear about the guy who went around murdering people with a melted clock and long-legged elephant?

He was a Surreal Killer

What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?

Surreal

Millenials dream about owning a house

Too bad it's surreal estate

The full time football result is in: Real Madrid - 4...

Surreal Madrid - fish

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish.

I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this [bonus joke!](http://www.bash.org/?69527)

What does Salvador Dalí eat for breakfast?

Usually just a bowl of surreal.

What do you call a man who sells impossible houses?

A surreal estate agent

The Wizard of Oz, synopsis.

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.

What do you call Salvador Dali after multiple homicide?

A surreal killer.

What was Salvador Dalí’s favorite breakfast meal?

Surreal with milk

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is walking home from his job at a local software company

He worked late that night, and the sun had already fallen below the sky. The man enjoyed the two mile walk to work in the morning, but the cold of the night made the way back numb, rigid, and surreal. The man followed long, curving roads through the dark pine forests, illuminated by cold sunlight re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know everyone is tired of the negativity with all the recent events...

I'm negative too. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I just can't comprehend how this guy is so successful. How did he win? And to be on the biggest stage in the world now. It doesn't make sense. No one ever thought he was a real contender, but here he is.

With all the scandal, how people think his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Immortal porpoises

One day Timmy has had enough. He is completely burned out, so he decides to use his saved up vacation days to go hiking in the mountains. He packs his tent and all his camping gear, and starts driving.

After many hours of driving he finialy arrives. He puts his backpack on his back and hea...

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

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