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Fairytale Jokes

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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit ..."

Do all fairytales start with "once upon a time"?

No, some start with "if I'm elected, I promise..."

My marriage is like a fairytale.

I was charming and my wife was beautiful, Once upon a time...

Motherhood is like a fairytale...

... _*but in reverse*_

You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

A girl asks her father, “Do all fairytales begin with Once Upon A Time?”

And the father replied, “ No there is a whole series of fairytales that begin with ‘If Elected I Promise.....”

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Everyone says they want a fairytale wedding.

But when I show up and curse their firstborn, suddenly I'm the jerk...

Have you heard who's playing the lead role in Hollywood's latest fairytale movie?

China's GDP numbers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

two women are chatting in the office....

Two women are chatting in an office.

Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"

Woman 2: "Yes."

Woman 1: "Was it good?"

Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between….

What’s the difference between an old military (pick your favorite service) story and fairytale?

One starts “Once upon a time…” and the other starts with “Now this is no shit…”.

Two girls are sitting in a bar

The one girl says: "Take my phone, can you please call my mother that I'll be home soon? I really need to use the bathroom now."

The other girl answers: "Sure, what is your password?"

"Snow White and all the seven dwarfs." the one girl replies.

The other girl frowns and asks: "S...

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