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Tumultuous Jokes

Dear Charlie, We’ve been neighbors for 6 tumultuous years.

When you borrowed my snowblower, you returned it in pieces.

When I was sick, you blasted Metallica.

And when your dog decorated my lawn, you laughed.

I could go on, but I’m not one to hold grudges. So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire.

Co...

Donald Trump somehow makes it to the Pearly Gates

After a long life, and a tumultuous presidency, Donald J Trump dies and arrives at the Gates of Heaven, where he sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asks an angel, "What are all those clocks?"

The angel answers, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After a tumultuous couple of weeks in the spotlight and under the microscope, president Trump flies to New York to spend a night with his wife. As he is about to walk into the penthouse, he gets a call from Priebus.

"Mr President", he says, "what should we do about the abortion bill"

Trump, annoyed especially about the timing barks back "who gives a shit? Just fucking pay it!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Government of Canada is reducing the age of consent for anal sex to 16. Critics are suggesting that this is too early to be rectally penetrated, but I respectfully disagree.

As a Canadian, I wish to make it known that I heartily endorse this decision.

These are tumultuous times. Now more than ever, it is vitally important that our young people are equipped with the knowledge and experience they will need to succeed in the real world.

And nothing prepares y...

The Four Witch Covens

There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, and the seas. For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. One day, they decided the onl...

A college guy meets a hot chick at a frat party

They end up in her dorm knocking boots; he’s living every freshmans dream! After a breather, he notices the girl has tears in her eyes. He asks her what’s up and she says “I haven’t been truthful to you; I was raised as Christian” he shrugs. “ so? College life’s about experimenting and finding yours...

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The Homeless Pianist

A homeless man is walking along the street when he sees that the local bar is looking for a new pianist. He walks in, sits at the piano and starts to play.

The owner hears him from the back room and is blown away. He walks up to the man and waits for him to finish playing.

"That was am...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Storm

A woman invites her date up to her apartment after a wonderful dinner. After a bit of conversation on the couch, they kiss. Passions rise and the kissing gets more intense, as does the pressure in her belly. She realizes that the is going to fart at any moment, whether she wants to or not.

Sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another set of Jewish mom jokes

Seeing how my first post had a ~~huuuuge~~ kinda moderate success, here's another set.

Because it seems americains are not aware of the jewish mom stereotype, here is a rough translation of the French Wiki :

> The typical traits of the jewish mom include :
>
> * An exces...

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