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Scallywag Jokes

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A police officer stopped me and searched my pockets. Found a bag of weed. "What have we here?" "It's not mine officer." He scoffs.

"I'm serious! I was cursed by a leprechaun, you know what scallywags they are. Now, every single time I flush this chronic down the toilet it magically reappears in my pocket."
"."
"Try me!"
He frowns, but follows me as we head to the bathroom in this cafe. I take out the cannabis a...

A pirate awkwardly stumbles into a bar.

Bartender: What's wrong?

Pirate: Aye, a scallywag shoved me boat's steering wheel down me pants and it's stuck there in me crotch!

Bartender: That sounds painful.

Pirate: Aye, it's a driving me nuts.

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The pirate

A man walks into a pub down by the wharf and sits at the bar next to a man with an eyepatch, a hook on his right hand and a wooden leg. The man exclaims, " Wow you must be a pirate!" How did you lose your leg? The pirate looks over and says, "well lad it was my first day onboard me ship, I haven't q...

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Injured Pirate Captain

An old pirate captain was having a talk with a young pirate captain out on the docks.

They joked for a bit until the young captain gets the courage to ask: “What happened to your leg?”

The old captain was eager to respond: “Oh this ‘ere leg? Well ye see lad, I was in a chase with an en...
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