UPJOKE
natural capitalmoneypropertywealthrichmostpovertyadam smithnet worthabundancevalueeconomicsmuchliabilitycapital

Rich People Jokes

What do rich people ride to the emergency room?

An ambulance

When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products.

Turns out those were just stereotypes.

If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it's about rich people paying money for answers to questions.

That is all.

What do rich people and poor people have in common?

They both love to talk about money

What do rich people say when tickling their little kids?

Gucci, Gucci, Gucci.

Rich people have...

Rich people have colon cleanses
Poor people have taco bell

Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn’t valid anymore.

There’s free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

What do rich people and drug addicts have in common?

They both have friends in high places.

Sandy, an 18 year old boy, desperately wants a car.

However, his mother forcibly tells him no. Sandy, undeterred, decides to get a job to pay. He applies for many jobs, ranging from a mechanic to delivering newspapers. However, he is not accepted for any of them. Slowly, he gives up on his dream of buying a car.

Weeks later, Sandy tells his mo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy wins the lottery. So he decides to live his life like rich people. What does rich people do ? They play golf, so he goes to a country club to play golf.

He didn’t know anything about golf. Didn’t bring a caddie . After an hour of struggling/playing, he gets lost. Didn’t see anyone until finally he sees a girl and asks her..
“ Sorry, to bother you, but I dont know where I am, could you tell me ?”.... “Sure, you are in the 5th hole, Im in the 6t...

Rich people use their money and infleunce to avoid standing trials about their crimes

Jeffrey Epstein learnt this the hard way

Rich people used to always have cars

And poor people used to have horses now poor people have cars and rich people have horses. The stables have turned.

Rich people and poor people

One day, a financially successful enough father decides to take his son to the countryside to show him how poor some people may happen to be in contrast to them, who live in a nice house in the suburbs of a big city. Like this, his son could understand the value of things, and how lucky he is.
...

Many rich people are sad.

I'd like to be sad too!

Rich people start their meals by saying "Bless us oh Lord for these thine gifts..."

Poor people say "Ramen."

When rich people go fishing, who hands them their fishing poles?

The Rod Stewart

How many rich people does it take to create a superhero?

Three: two to die, and one to never get over it.

Why are rich people so concerned with etiquette?

Because they have a lot of manors.

I met a girl who used to take care of owls for rich people who had them as pets.

I asked her if she was an ornithologist. She was not. I said, "So you're just like a bird baby sitter?" "Of course not"., she replied.

"I'm a Hootenanny."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What if Prom is just an elaborate business scams that fashion companies carry out every year to sell all the shitty, cheap dresses to high school kids because the rich people wouldn't buy them?

*scam

I is stupid.

A man has a vision of God

God says to the man "You may ask three questions of me."

The man thinks hard, and says "God, the universe is so old...how do you keep track of it?"

God says "My child, to me a million years is only one second."

The man thinks again, and says "God, why do so many rich people forg...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Jew is walking home from work

An old Jew is walking home from work and passes a fancy restaurant. He looks in the window and sees rich people talking and laughing as they eat delicious cheese blintzes.

The old man is inspired: "blintzes for dinner!" and continues his long walk home. When he gets home, he announced to his ...

Rich man arrested for murder

A rich man is arrested for murder finds an Attorney that says

" Rich people don't to jail, You have too much money to go to jail, I'll represent you"

It was long drawn out trial, and when his client was convicted, the lawyer made sure he didn't have any money left.

If some poor people are just temporarily embarrassed millionaires...

Does that mean some rich people are temporarily flattered homeless bums?

Back in the day...

Back in the day, everyone had a horse and only rich people owned cars. Now everyone owns a car and only the rich own horses. I guess you could say, the stables have turned

Poor people break into your house to steal.

Rich people break into your house to gloat.

Girl, are you a Collateralized Debt Obligation?

Because a lot of rich people are trading you around and a few insiders have told me you're completely toxic.

Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house?

They don't like rich people in Robin's hood

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bit of history

In the Victorian era the rich people drank tea from bone china cups while the poorer classes had to use earthen-ware mugs. Bone china can stand the shock of having boiling water poured directly into it but earthen-ware can't. So the upper classes would pour their teas and then add the milk but the l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In light of people getting slapped by the pope.

There was this poor old guy named Donald who hears that the pope is going on tour and will be parading through his town. Donald was very excited that he might get a chance to meet the pope and shake his hand. So he decided to make a plan. He thought that the pope would want to meet the richest man i...

Motel insurance scam (x-post /r/Unexpected)

A few years ago, I lived in a small rural town in southwestern Texas, near the border with Mexico. My town had a few rich people living in it, and among these was my neighbor. He was a doctor, and also owned a little motel called the Spanish Inn. It was a nice place, and the doctor enjoyed keeping u...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My town has gone to shit

When I was a kid, the town I lived in was great. Business was booming, everyone was happy, and it was safe at all times of the day. The area outside of town was a little bit sketchy (especially at night), but it never made it in to our small town.

That was, until some changes in the local gov...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.