Net Worth Jokes - 17 Hilarious Net Worth Jokes

Amber Heard's net worth is $2.5 million and she now has to pay Johnny Depp $15 million...

Yeah, she's forever going to be in Depp!

When Bill Gates donates 30% of his net worth

He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.

My financial advisor asked me "What's your net worth?"

I said "I don't own a net".

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.

That‘s a really expensive net!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a genie. Delighted, the genie says, "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately shouts out, "I want a billion dollars." *POOF*, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact $1,000,000,003.50.

The second man thinks for a bit, then says, "I want to be the richest man alive." *POOF*, he's holding papers showing his net wor...

What do you call a rich spider?

A web designer with a huge net worth.

Ladder to the top.

A man awakes to find himself in a room with a ladder to the floor above and a $10 bill. A voice speaks “accept what is offered or climb the ladder to success.”

“$10 isn’t much” he thinks so he climbs the ladder. On the next floor he finds $1,000 in cash and a moderately attractive woman willi...

I met the world's riches fisherman today

"What's your net worth?" I asked.

"This one was about £10" he replied.

This stock market crash is worse for me than a divorce

I lost half my net worth, but still have a wife.

Selling all of my old tennis equipment but I can't figure out

What's the net worth?

My friend told me he got hit hard, lost 40% of his net profit in the market in the last year.

I said "so? I lost 85% of my net worth in the market in 1 day"

He said "what? Was it in a mutual fund?!"

I was like "no....my iPhone was stolen at the grocery store"

A fisherman is selling fishing supplies at a market

An insecure rich man comes up to him and asks, “what’s your net worth?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rags To Riches Success Story

A real touching success story!

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do...

A man with terminal cancer gets frozen…

Then, he gets awakened in 2060 when they can cure his cancer.

The first thing he does when he learns he’s in 2060 is call his broker:

— Well, mister Smith, your total net worth today is $3,405,444,102.26.

Upon learning he’s a multibillionnaire, he leaps of joy and slips in some ...

Four dads are arguing, each dad claims to have the best son in the world.

The first dad says, "My son is the best because he is so rich, I only gave him a small loan of a million dollars and he ended up making four billion dollars from his multi-billion dollar hotel business. He has even appeared on many TV shows. He is so successful that he was elected to lead a country....

A man finds a lamp in the sand . . .

He rubs it and a genie comes out, offering three wishes.

Now the man is smart, so he knows that the genie will twist his wishes around on him. He's also depressed, so he doesn't mind *too* much if things go really bad. So he decides to se if he can use some reverse psychology on the genie....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are wandering trough a desert.

3 men are wandering lost and hungry through a desert.
They've all but given up hope to make it out alive when they stumble upon a golden lamp in the sand. One of them picks it up and start rubbing the sand off of it. As the last grain of sand falls off the lamp a magical genie appears and with ...

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