A police officer responding to a gunshot call called his police chief.
"We got an old lady who shot her husband for walking on the floor after she just mopped it," he reported.
"Have you arrested her?" the chief asked.
"Nope. The floor's still wet," he replied.
I was responding to another attorney's filing today but my heart wasn't in it.
You could say I was just going through the motions.
A spy stationed in a foreign country stopped responding to his handler.
A spy stationed in a foreign country stopped responding to his handler. After a while, the handler received a letter in the mail. It told her the spy has been compromised, but, before his capture, he'd snuck out some very important government secrets. He'd used the world's smallest memory card to co...
What would Ted Cruz have done in the school shooting if he was the responding police officer?
He would have packed his bags and leave for Cancun, citing his daughters don't go that school.
A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion
when the rabbi asked "Could you ever be promoted withing your church?"
The priest responded, "Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop."
The rabbi asked, "And then?"
The priest though for a second and responded, "Well, then I might become a cardinal."
The rabbi again aske...
Greta thunberg began screaming,
“I will not fly private!” She said to her manager as they pulled into the parking lot.
“The conference is two days away and across the ocean, would you like to fly coach?” He replied.
“On a commercial airline produced by slave labor? I don’t think so!” She screamed.
Her manag...
The Chief of Police died responding to people changing fonts on town signs
There we were, left sans-sheriff
I realized I spend most of my office life reading and responding to messages...
It made me Slack-jawed.
What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?
He force quit.
What was the governor of North Carolina criticized for responding to Hurricane Florence so quickly?
Because women don’t like premature evacuations
A Femme Fatale reports to her superior after a successful undercover mission.
"Excellent work, as always, agent. Operation *Girlfriend Experience* was an outstanding success because of you. The villain has been apprehended and is awaiting sentencing," the superior comments.
"Thank you, sir. Just doing my duty," she responds.
"But there is one thing..." he contin...
What do Classical Music enthusiasts have in common with Redditors responding to OP?
One comments about Yo-Yo Ma, the other about Yo Momma
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