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Deliverance Jokes

A man is stuck on the roof of his house after a flood, he prays to god for deliverance.

A man is stuck on the roof of his house after a flood, he prays to god for deliverance. A few hours later a guy in a dingy floats past and offers him a ride. He says "No, God will provide safe passage for me."

A day later a rescue team arrive with a boat and offer him a space, he again declin...

Hand of Deliverance

The Pope and Trump are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Trump and said, "do you know that with one little wave of my hand i can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy, this joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their ...

An old but timely parable / joke for our times

A river valley was flooding fast. A TV news bulletin warned residents to get to higher ground. But as everyone was evacuating, a smug Evangelist stood his ground and declared "I will pray to God to deliver me from this disaster!"

So he prayed.

Some time went by and the floodwaters ro...

What’s it called when an alcoholic Christian dies from drinking?

Deliverance

A young missionary on his first term in Africa..

..was reading his bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush and laid down on his other side. Convinced that this was a test of his faith, he returned to reading his bible. As soon as he did, the two lions...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A County Sheriff is driving down a desolate highway, through the woods in Georgia.

He sees a man, completely naked, tied up to a pine tree - arms completely around it, bent down on his knees, with his ass facing the road. The Sheriff pulls over - removes a balled up sock out of the guy's mouth, and asks him what happened.

The guy says, "I picked up a hitchhiker in town 20 ...

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