When someone explains something of higher intellect, don’t feel inferior, feel grateful.

It means more than you know.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are in a bar.

They’re smashed.
One guy throws up down himself and says oh shit, “my wife is going to kill me I was only meant to be having 2 beers”.
The other guy says, “no need to worry, put this twenty in your pocket and say someone threw up on you and he’s paid your dry cleaning bill”

Shocked by...

I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.

I call it "Book Club"

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference.

At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man buys a motorbike and is riding it home when it occurs to him that he's somewhat lacking control, as the wind is getting into his coat and buffeting him quite badly.

He pulls over, deciding to put his coat on back-to-front so the openings between the buttons are at the back.

Much improved he confidently accelerates away, but within five minutes of riding like this he reaches a sharp bend in the road, where he discovers his arms are rather too restricted ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Men are on a Journey Through the Desert ...

A Generation X'er, a Boomer, and a Millennial are embarking on a desert journey. They have each been allowed to bring one item for survival.

The X'er was asked, "What did you bring?".
"I don't lack in intellect. I brought food so that we can eat if we are hungry

The others nodded ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes into a pet shop and sees a parrot with no feet...

...but he has an exceptionally long penis, and he uses it to stay on his perch. He is well spoken and talks almost as well as any person, and has quite the intellect.

But because he has no feet, no one has ever been keen to buying him. The parrot says, "Sir, if you take me home, I will do m...

Donald trump, the pope, Mike Pence, and a third grader are all on a plane about to crash with only 3 parachutes.

Mike Pence grabs a parachute and says “My life matters because I am the Vice President of the United States, and that is too important of a position to be given to anyone other than me” before jumping out of the plane.

Donald Trump grabs a bag and says “My life matters because I am the smarte...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, there was a wasp.

Now, this wasp was no ordinary wasp. No, no, this was an extremely intelligent wasp. He was so smart, in fact, that one day he decided to leave the nest to go to high school. Obviously, this was a big deal for his family, but they supported him in following his dreams, so they packed up his few belo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Genie

One day a man is walking on Malibu beach when he found a genie lamp. He rubbed it, and a genie appeared. The genie said "I will grant you one wish. Anything in the world is yours!" The man sits at the spot he found the genie and thought. And thought. And thought. He told the genie "I don't want anyt...

Thorbeaux and Dreaux

I heard this somewhere else but really wanted to share

Thor and Dreaux were out one day under the hot summer sun digging a Ditch around an apple orchard, for their boss John. After a few hours of making the ditch, deaux turns to Thor and asks :
"Hey Thor, why are we here diggin a ditch and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Jewish Fishmonger

So this man goes to his Jewish fishmonger and says, "All your neighbors praise your smartness and intellect. What's the secret?"

The fishmonger says that he eats 3 fish heads a day. He offers to to sell the man a fish head for 3 dollars. The man buys 3 fish heads.

Some weeks go by. Th...

God and his 2 omnipotent friends are deciding how they should make their new world,

When trying to decide what to add to their world God's first friend says "We need to create a large strong animal that can pull around our people's machinery and that they can ride long distances to save their legs"

"Don't worry" said God "I have just the thing from the last world I made, the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.