This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a really horny tomato farmer with no lube?

Friction till fruition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: A man commits a crime and goes to prison.

A man committed a crime and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. The guards take him to his cell and he finds his new 'roommate' is a HUGE black man. The guards leave, and of course he's very nervous.

A few minutes go by and the black guy says "We both gonna be here for a while, so you can de...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The apple of your dreams.

One day Eddie walked into the patent office. He boldly stated to the patent officer, Bob, that he’d like to patent the apple. Bob, a studious man who looked like he spent a lifetime burying his face in books, dryly pointed out “You can’t patent the apple, Johnny Appleseed already did that.”
“We...

Abortion jokes are never funny.

So if you accidentally start forming one, you should terminate it before it comes to fruition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favorites. A long one, but worth it.

When the world first came to fruition all of the animals saw that they had a certain amount of years to live, and each had a certain thing to do for those years.
The rabbit first saw that he had 40 years to run jump and play without a care in the world. But, the rabbit thought that forty was too...

Old School Pirate Crime

Captain Normal Beard the up-and-coming pirate captain and his first mate Clumsy Edward were in desperate need of ink in order to make the numerous treasure maps they were sure create during all of their treasure-filled journeys. More than anything they needed red ink for the illustrious X's that wil...

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