Dogs are truly woman's best friend

If you don't believe it, lock your dog and husband in your trunk.
Wait an hour, open it and see who is happier to see you again!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are days when I truly think I've gotten over my porn addiction

......then I remember my favourite Michael Jackson song is 'Beat It'

I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"

But it's just a curd to me

A man asks his wife “how many truly great men do you think there are in the world?”

She replies:

I don’t know, but I can tell you this: there is one fewer than you think.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer wins his first truly huge case with a multi-million dollar payoff.

He's flying high. He drives to the office the next Monday in shiny new threads with all of the most expensive trimming, driving the most expensive imported Bentley he can find. Everyone at the office needs to see this, he thinks, so he gets there super early to park right in front of the building,...

Keeping tropical fish at home can have a truly calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

For my first cake day, I would like to share a truly terrible joke I heard from my brother

On the day my friend discovered my reddit account he couldn't believe his eyes. How had I got so much karma? He didn't think it possible. Naturally, for days on end he asked and begged to know. I didn't want the magician to reveal his secrets, so for a while I simply didn't tell him. I thought he wo...

My new and 100% original (and truly terrible) COVID pirate joke...

How did the pirates manage to avoid the pandemic?

They cove-hid.

America truly is the land of the free.

Said my brother, who was arrested for nothing

When you think about it, a blood cell’s life is truly futile...

After all, its whole life is lived in vein.

Flat Earther goes to Heaven

A life long Flat Earther named Greg dies and goes to Heaven.

Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates he meets St Peter who says "Welcome to Heaven Greg, today is your lucky day you're one of hundred people who can ask a question to God

Greg: Can I ask him anything?

St Peter: Anything ...

Looking back on 10 years of marriage

Wanted to save this story for one of my favorite subs.

When I first met my wife we went on our first date and I was pretty nervous. I wanted to take her somewhere different to break the monotonous “first date” vibe of coffee or drinks so we decided to go to a local apiary to help transpla...

A guy asked a girl in a university library:

A guy asked a girl in a university library:
"Do you mind if I sit beside you?”

The girl replied with a loud voice:
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every once in a while you run into a truly eccentric proctologist

You know... one crazy ass doctor

It’s unlikely that President Trump truly has COVID...

He’s been paying others to take his tests for 65 years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.

Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the largest peni...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Give me 30 minutes, and I will give you some truly amazing sex...

Then afterwards, we'll still have 28 minutes to do something else fun!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

Stranded on Deserted Island for 10 years

One day a man who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship.” And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

Suddenly there e...

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A man hears about a magical lake…

…. where taking a bath increases penis size by an inch. He travels across the country in search of the this majestic lake when he comes across a homeless person who points towards a tall mountain and tells him the lake is on the top.

The man hastily arrives at the bottom of the mountain try...

What’s the perfect ‘S’ word?

Sword.

What do anti-vaxxers do at Covid-19 funerals?

Stare at the ceiling.
_____________
**Thank you** /u/JustNick4 for giving this joke the extremely desirable **Evil Cackle Award**. I've never won an Evil Cackle Award before, so as you can imagine, I'm over the moon. I'm going to put it in the candy bowl every Halloween for the neighbor kids ...

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other one!

Two monks werewere discussing humility.

"I have been praying and fasting, meditating and studying religion for 20 years. I have finally reached the level of humility. I am truly a nothing." said one monk.

The other monk nodded gravely. "I too have spent my life devoted to serving God. I am also a nothing."

At that moment a j...

So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance

He answered: “Because I want you to be truly sad when I am gone”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You will never truly know dissapointment

Until you run into a wall with a boner and your nose breaks first

A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man

A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man stand around a piece of fruit.

When asked what the fruit is, the philosopher says “We can never know what this piece of fruit truly is. We assume, through wisdom, that the form of the fruit is closest to our perceptions of the fruit”.

T...

A world renowned doctor is asked to visit a local mental institute to ensure all the patients truly belonged there...

He is told he will visit three patients and will be supervised by the institutes owner. When he arrives he visits the first patient in his room and sees the patient defecating into his own hands and smearing it on the wall. He quickly turns towards the supervisor  and says “this man truly belongs he...

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led h...

Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Ronald Reagan this November.

Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.

The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta. The cow was wonderful.

It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved...

If you truly believe that "Colour Doesn't Matter"

try arguing with your wife when choosing wallpaper.

A Canadian cop is watching the bar after last call (Long)

Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the street, outside a Legion Hall just off the main Street at Dauphin, Manitoba.

After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled a...

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A man went to the doctor to inquire about options for penis enlargement...

"Doc," he said, "you've got to help me. My penis is miniscule. It always has been. The other boys used to make fun of me in the locker room, girls I dated would laugh at me as soon as we got to the bedroom... I experienced nothing but humiliation my whole life, until I met my wife, god bless her. Sh...

Age brings wisdom

A cruel pet owner abandons his old dog in the deepest jungles of Africa. Wandering around, the poor old dog notices a leopard coming rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

Just then, the old dog noticed some bones laying on the ground close by. 
The dog immediately se...

Helen Keller was truly an inspiration,

She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?"

"We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a...

Adam, the first human, walks into a comedy club. He hears a funny joke and totally splits a rib…

Now his chest hurts and he has to drive Eve home.



(An original, by yours truly.)

(not OC) I truly believe that Allah is the one true God.

The universe started with an explosion, didn't it?

Donald Trump is extremely flawed in every way imaginable, yet he still truly believes he’s the best...

I can’t think of a more perfect representative of the United States of America.

Your honor, if you truly are what you eat

Then I am an innocent man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All men truly are passionate ornithologists at hearth..

Why else would they spend so much time observing *Tits* in their diverse natural habitats?

The first time I rode the elevator, it was a truly uplifting experience...

The second time was a bit of a let down, however.

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted by a child’s whispered, “Hello.”

“Is your Daddy home?” he asked.

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

“May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, “No.”

Surprise...

People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me...

This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.

I truly believe that conflicts in the Wild West could have been avoided completely

If architects those days made their towns big enough for everyone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's car breaks down in Tibet..

A man's car breaks down in Tibet, and wouldn't you know it? His phone gets no service. So he walks up a long windy road to a huge monastery at the top of the hill. He knocks at the reinforced double doors and a Tibetan monk after some minutes finally opens.

"My car broke down. Do you...

The man with no arms and legs had truly a touching moment at the hospital.

The doctors re-membered him on his birthday!

A man is at the funeral of an old friend.

He hesitantly approaches the deceased's wife and asks whether he can say a word. The widow nods. The man clears his throat and says, "Plethora."

The widow smiles appreciatively. "Thank you," she says. "That means a lot."

Another man comes up and says: "Mind if I say a word too?" She sa...

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

The only person that ever truly wanted me for who I am..

was the police

The shovel is a ground breaking invention, but it was the invention of the broom that truly swept the nation by storm. However, the invention of the wheel got things rolling...

And I’m just here wondering why our feet smell and our nose run...

A conductor is getting an orchestra together for a performance but having trouble finding a clarinet player.

Finally, he calls a contractor who tells him "Well, the only guy I've got available at this moment is this jazz clarinetist.”

The conductor replies "I can't stand working with jazz musicians! They dress lousy, they're always late, and they all have an attitude problem.”

“Well" replie...

This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is...

a Mexican stand off.

The vampire joke

3 vampires are having a competition to prove who's the most vicious vampire amongst them.

The strongest one started 1st,

"watch this," He said as he flies so fast, about 100 miles/hour. After only 10 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth. "what happened?" they asked. "di...

They say when you’re young, making friends is easy but finding a date is hard. And it’s reversed when you’re older.

Now that I’m older, I can truly say that they were both hard then and even harder now.

My Grandad is a truly special man

He has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh Zoo.

A man at work has a coworker who truly despises him

Yet year after year on his birthday, the coworker gives the man elegant, expensive ties.

Finally the man can't stand it anymore and asks, "Listen, I know you truly can't stand me, so why all the niceties?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only company to truly care about LGBTQ+ people after pride is PornHub...

...they have a whole section for them all year long

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy.

Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.

Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within...

Flat Earthers say we’ve never truly seen real pictures of the earth

but I’ve never seen my dad and I know he’s real

There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science

0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"The only ones who truly know where the edge is have already gone over."

"What the fuck have you done this is a nursing home for the blind goddammit Karen!!"







\*Pardon my french ladies.

The Unconditional Love Test

In order to find out whose love is truly unconditional.... lock both your wife & dog in the trunk of your car for approximately 15-30 minutes. When you open the trunk, who is excited to see you? That’s your answer.



*DO NOT try this at home. This is a joke and I cannot be held res...

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

A goat gets his wish granted by a genie.

He wishes to be turned into a human being.After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie.He asks ‟How can I ever repay you?”

The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before; a...

People who truly love their 6 pack abs...

Will protect them with a layer of fat.

Life can be tough sometimes, but I truly am an optimist.

I drink a glass of pineapple juice every day. Just in case.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The other day I was so frustrated I yelled out, “Fuck my life.”

It had really been a rough week of work and everything else. Anyways fast forward to today and I come back home from work to catch my neighbor sleeping with *my* wife in *my* bedroom, and had the audacity to smile at me and wink and give me a thumbs up.

When the neighbor noticed that I was a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to Write a Paper

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you conce...

Jesus is down by the gates to Heaven when an old man approaches.

"Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?" Asks St Peter.

"To be honest." replies the man, "I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn't my biological son... his birth was miraculous, still I loved him very much. Later in life he went throu...

They say when you go to France that you never truly come back

Well that was somewhat true for princess Diana

The secret to success

There are all sorts of tips for a successful life but I have found the one guaranteed to bring you success and wealth.

To truly be successful it is important to only work half days.

And the best part of it? What makes this such a great plan? It’s that it doesn’t matter which 12 hours y...

Words cannot begin to describe how truly beautiful you are...

But numbers can 3/10

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Top 3 most unattainable liquids in the universe

3. Extracted deathstalker scorpion venom, costing no less than $39,000,000 per gallon. Truly an enormous sum, even for the wealthiest of wealthy.

2. The wine from the holy grail, necessitating a hazardous journey to both life and limb, and discernable only to the purest of heart.

1. *T...

My wife truly is a one of a kind...

Of all the hands I could have been dealt, literally the worst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A MAN went to the doctors suffering from a severe headache for years on end.

The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is it will require castration. You have a rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicle...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(TW: a truly dirty joke) How many calories are consumed when eating pussy?

Depends which direction she wipes

They say it takes 10,000 hours to truly master anything*

*Getting 8 hours of sleep not included

Did anyone here watch WWDC 2019 today? I was, and I truly admired Apple’s courage

Only they have the courage to sell a $1,000 stand that you’ve got to buy after paying $5,000 for a monitor.

Such courage

What does EA truly stand for?

Early Access because all of their games are rushed and unfinished.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A long time ago in China, man decided to marry a concubine.

But he insisted the new woman be a virgin. Someone suggested that after he found a suitable woman, on their wedding night he should show her his penis. If she didn't know what it was, that would mean she was truly virginal.

So on the wedding night his pulled out his penis and showed it to t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Truly old, but still one of my favorites: A six-year-old boy and his grandpa are sitting at a table.

The grandpa is sitting on a rocking chair, eating his cookies. The boy asks him:

-Can you give me some of your cookies?

-Can your pee-pee reach your butthole?

-Err... no...

-Then you're not old enough, kid.


A few years pass and the two find themselves in a simi...

There was this fella having some drinks at a bar....

And all evening he kept eyeballing this beautiful, young woman, sitting at a table with what appeared to be a few of her friends. He noticed she would smile at him and subtly play with her hair, and from what he gathered, she was into him.

After building up some liquid courage, he decides it ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If it truly takes 10,000 hours to master something,

Then I only need to have sex 599,999 more times to be an expert.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is going sky diving and I'm truly terrified

The last time something that large hit the ground the fucking dinosaurs died!

When I look into my daughter's eyes, I realize what's truly important in life.

Birth control.

Truly original chemistry jokes no longer exist.

They argon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every Christmas with my family truly feels like the first Christmas.

There is no room, just three wise guys and a complete ass.

Hole in a Wall

While doing a wee, I once saw /
a mole that was quite the oddball /
it didn't live underground /
but rather, I found /
that it lived in the hole in the wall

So I peered in the home of the mole /
What I saw 'twas a sight to behol' /
inside was a place /
full ...

America is truly the greatest country. It has freedom...

for cops and politicians from prosecution

I guy I know thought he was a truly fantastic lover...

But it turns out all the women who told him that were lying in bed.

The shovel was such a great invention.

It was truly groundbreaking.

Jared Fogle's career was truly full circle

It began and ended with him trying to get into smaller pants

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest, an immam and a rabbi are discussing the miracles in their lives that had truly cemented their respective faiths.

The priest says "once I was out on a boat, and a storm hit. The boat was about to capsize, but when I prayed to God suddenly the oceans 100 feet around us became calm".

The immam says "that is good, but once I was in the middle of a warzone with bullets flying through the air all around me. I...

Women are truly gifts!

They usually aren't what you expected/wanted.

I have developed a truly marvellous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ...

which this post is too short to contain

Nun on the scale

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down, waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and...

TIL that North Korea is one of few countries where women Truly have equal rights to men.

That is that they both equally don't have any.

I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say...

Marijuana truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.

Say what you want about Ben Carson the politician, but Ben Carson the person is truly inspiring.

He really opened a lot of young minds!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Irish Railway Company

Correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation sy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend asked what I truly wanted for Christmas

I replied "A blowjob"

She says "No stupid, from my parents."

I said "Oh God nevermind then, you're dad's beard would tickle."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's only gonna be seven planets in the sky tonight!

"Why? There's eight planets." She said with a look that only someone truly offended can give you. Our hero and Random Girl #24 talked for hours about space, planets, and stars until they both were well aquatinted with one another. She was leaning on his shoulder and then asked again, "why'd you say ...

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding
she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned
that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the
entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares her...

The Human Crime Detector

The police have had trouble determining whether or not their suspects are guilty of committing the crimes they were arrested for. After hearing word of a man able to determine if any person brought before him committed a crime, they decide to consult him.

They bring the first suspect in, and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's funniest if you look up the verses yourself

A pastor has just moved to a new town, and the day before services, he goes around visiting members of his new congregation. He comes to one house and knocks... no answer. He rings the doorbell... no answer... but he can tell someone is home, so he pulls out a card and writes on the back, *Revelatio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am truly perplexed that so many people are against mosques being built.

I think it should be the goal of every Western Society to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Swan?

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, supervised by a few gruff looking nuns.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their f...

Where do artists go to truly become great?

The obituaries

Big Brother can see every single facet of our lives, we truly have no privacy and no control over own lives.

But can Big Brother see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"

Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A line of four recently-deceased souls lines up at the gates of Heaven, awaiting their judgement...

St. Peter addressed the first man in line. “While you were alive all you cared about was getting drunk. You loved alcohol so much that you married a woman named Brandy.” St. Peter promptly turned the man away.
To the second man St. Peter said, “While you were alive the only thing you truly cared...

Truly management material

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just...

When are you truly Vietnamese?

**When you are So - v i e t!**

*Ba dum tss*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Amazing non-Antisemitic Joke About the Rich Jew

This is a long joke.

There were two Jew friends: one of them was rich, and he lived in the city; the other one was poor, and he lived in a village. At one point, the poor Jew happened to visit the rich Jew in the city.

The rich Jew invited the poor Jew to the opera, to theaters, and to...

Mr. President, what do you think about the constitution?

"It's truly awesome. I defeated the virus in only four days and I feel better than 20 years ago."

A Man Bought a Book

One time, a young man goes in a very dark road as he went home and saw an elderly man sitting along the way. The elderly man is weird and suspicious-looking. The man called him, but the younger one ignored. The elderly man kept on calling him, so the young man got frightened, but he released all his...

She’s from Minsk

A small, tight knit, Russian village buys their milk from the neighboring town. Eventually they realize they should pool their resources and buy a cow for the town.

They all gather their money, some put more, some less, whatever they can afford. Now they have 800 roubles, but to buy a cow fr...

Trump truly is a genius

With only 5 years old he was as smart as he is today

Duckiiiiiies

Two philosophers sat chatting in a bar, when one posed a question to the other. “Imagine to yourself there were two ducks; one that could not stop moving in a certain directions, and could not be stopped, and another which could not by any means move or be moved. Say they were on a collision course,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men die and go to heaven

So, they are waiting outside of the gates of heaven, when a flustered St Peter appears.

He loudly announces that due to overpopulation in heaven, only people who died in tragic ways will be allowed in until further notice.

A look of concern washes over the faces of some of the people ...

A man's car breaks down outside of a monastery.

A man is driving home from a buisness trip. As he has a pretty low paying job, he doesn't have the best of cars.

After a few hours of driving, he drives past a monastery.

Unfortunately his car breaks down right in front of the monastery.

Being a man of God, he obviously figures...

Poor daddy

A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and brown eyes.

The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said “Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son tru...

A man DIES

He died tragically and unexpectedly in a botched robbery. Devastated, his wife Cindy mourned four several months, leaving the house only to pick up groceries that her doting mother leaves on her doorstep.

The only comfort to her grief was his cat, who is similarly distraught. After several mo...

An aspiring writer once said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now writes error messages for the Microsoft Corporation.

How does a dyslexic atheist feel about God?

He thinks that they’re truly man’s best friend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WW2. An Italian bishop is visiting a cloisters shortly after the liberation of the country...

He meets with the mother superior and asks her how she and the nuns did during the nazi occupation.

"Oh it was terrible, father. First came the fascists and violated all, but sister Rosa. Then it was the Germans, and they too violated all, but sister Rosa. Then came the partisans ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On Sunday, I walked into the weapons store one day and noticed a banner advertising sarin gas.

I went up to the cashier and asked, "Isn't this stuff illegal?"

The cashier replied, "This isn't your ordinary sarin. This type helps you lose weight," gesturing towards another banner claiming that inhaling a whiff of it every day would help me lose 50 kilos by the end of the week.

Fe...

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