Particles Jokes

A tachyon walks into a bar.

A tachyon walks into a war

Top and bottom quarks

They were mass-debating

He sits down and the bartender asks what he wants. He says "2 beers, one for me and one for the stool next to me".



The bartender pours 2 beers and asks, "are you waiting for someone?"


Albert says "No, but there is a chance that quantum fluctuations could align themselves ... read more

Futons

They make up everything.

One particle says to the other "I got you some flowers, you may have them if you quantum"

Because they’re always coming in pears.

He's a mass murderer.

The preacher says "We don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here!"

The Higgs Boson particle says "If you don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here, how do you have mass?"

Wasted on the night before, the two arrive at the university well after the exam ended. They went straight to the professor, saying that they couldn't take the test because one of the car's tires had gone flat. Surprisingly, the professor allows them and promptly tells them to come back tomorrow.... read more

So far, the results have been positive.

and the detector reported exactly fifty two events which they were looking for. They published a research paper called "Weekly interacting particles".

They call them erectrons.

It was his meson scène.

Nananananananananana BATMAN!

A son asks his dad "Daddy, what is string theory?"

The dad replied "Why are you asking me such difficult questions, come on ask me something easier"

The son then asks "Um ok so why does mommy get mad sometimes?"

"String theory is a theoretical framework in which the point-like p... read more

I had no idea they were charged particles before!

A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man stand around a piece of fruit.

When asked what the fruit is, the philosopher says “We can never know what this piece of fruit truly is. We assume, through wisdom, that the form of the fruit is closest to our perceptions of the fruit”.

T... read more

she could observe the particles in the double slit experiment and still get an interference pattern

I never thought that subatomic particles would need therapy, but I guess it's not easy being positive all the time.

Reality has always been radiating dreamweavers whose lives are opened by divinity. We are in the midst of an ancient condensing of nature that will enable us to access the infinite itself. Throughout history, humans have been interacting with the biosphere via meridians.

Although you may not ... read more

What particles in a reactor are the happiest?



Delayed neutrons.

A blonde girl goes to get her IQ tested. When the results come in, the doctor tells her “Your IQ is so long that for me to give it as a regular number would require more particles than are in the known universe, so instead, I'll give it in scientific notation, ***AND*** that scientific notation will... read more

we thought atoms represented the smallest unit of matter. Although initially thought to be indivisible, this was proven false and each atom is made up of proton, neutrons, and electrons inside.

For a time these were the smallest units, then we found that these protons and neutrons were made u... read more

Scientist 1: So everything is made up of these tiny particles?

Scientist 2: I guess so.

Scientist 1: What should we call the things they make up?

Scientist 2: Why name it? It doesn't seem that important to me.

Scientist 1: Are you sure? Cause I think it all Matters.

... sits down and orders himself an ice cream and also a second ice cream that then offers to the empty stool next to him. He does this every day for about a week. Finally, the owner comes up to him and asks,
"Good afternoon. We were all wondering what's the deal with you ordering the second i... read more

Knowing that this will be an incredibly hard task, the scientist devotes every day to the task, until they have created the teleporter.

First, the scientist discovers that titanium and sulfur, when combined create a metal that would make a great base and projector for the teleporter, so they ... read more