Quantum Mechanics Jokes - 13 Hilarious Quantum Mechanics Jokes

I’m an expert on quantum mechanics.

Until you ask me why I’ve murdered so many cats.

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Are you afraid of quantum mechanics ?

Dont worry, it's gonna be Feynman.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two quantum mechanics professors had sex

They must have had physical chemistry.

You're not supposed to understand, it's.. (science joke)

A student is in biology lecture when the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's chemistry."

So the student later takes a chemistry lecture and the professor...

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Who does the tune-up on Ant-Man’s van?

Quantum Mechanics

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What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

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Which repair men are best at keeping secrets?

I hear quantum mechanics are pretty discrete.

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Woman are like an open book

But it's written in chinese and about quantum mechanics.

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A physics student ask his teacher

A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity"
The teacher answers: "I'll see if I can pull some strings for you"

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A physicist walks in to an ice cream parlor...

... sits down and orders himself an ice cream and also a second ice cream that then offers to the empty stool next to him. He does this every day for about a week. Finally, the owner comes up to him and asks,
"Good afternoon. We were all wondering what's the deal with you ordering the second i...

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There was this physicist who came to the ice cream bar every day

to buy two ice creams: one for himself and another that he offers to the empty spot next to him.

Eventually, the ice cream salesman asks him: "Why do you keep doing that?"

P: "Well... quantum mechanics teach us that it's theoratically possible for a girl to spontaneously burst into exi...

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A physicist is sitting next to little Johnny on a plane...

The physicist tells Johnny "I call tell about how all kinds of thing work, including the plane or quantum mechanics".

Johnny says "Alright, why is it when a cow poops it plops into these big patties?"

"I don't know" replies the physicist

"Ok, why do horse turds come out all clum...

A physicist sits down at a bar and orders two drinks.

He places one in front of the empty seat next to him, while he slowly consumes the other. Upon finishing, he orders another drink. The bartender notices the untouched beverage and motions to it. "Something wrong with this one?" "No," says the physicist, "that one is for my companion." "Oh," say...

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