If you can put a end to this 'gif' pronunciation debate...

I'll give you a gift of gin.

One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????

My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "....... (I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!...

Pronunciation, please

What happens when you choke on Vietnamese soup?

Pho cough.

People in France have such bad pronunciation

They called me a bigot I'm pretty sure they meant baguette.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't find the pronunciation of fecalysis on the internet.

I guess nobody gives a shit?

The internet has finally determined the true pronunciation of "GIF"

It's "g" as in garage

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch...

At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"

She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

I told this random guy at a bar that I can speak fluent French with the correct pronunciation.

I asked him if he thought I was Lyon and if so why would I? He's just a guy at a bar... I have nothing Toulouse. I do hope he had a Nice day.

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Boudreaux and Thibodeau go hunting one weekend

While out in the woods, they are able to track and kill a deer that morning. While Thibodeau is gutting the deer, Boudreaux feels nature’s call and tells Thibodeau he has to go pop a squat. So, Boudreaux finds a tree a little bit away and does his business. However, he falls asleep!

Thibodeau...

TIL that Turkish has some weird pronunciation.

I mean, they pronounce Constantinople as Istanbul.

The Spanish assassin

There was once a hitman who was known for his skill and stealth. Nobody really knew his identity, except for the fact that he always used to count to three before shooting his victim.

One time, a mob leader wanted a hit on a rival leader, so he hired him. He said "I want the kill to be clean,...

My wife says I can't pronounce Frederick properly.

**DOCTOR:** What? Can you say it again?

**ME:** Frederick

**DOCTOR:** Your pronunciation is perfect, tell your wife that you don't have any problem with that.

**MY WIFE:** What did the doctor said?

**ME:** The doctor said that there is nothing wrong with my pronunciation ...

Can a joke about dinosaurs make you laugh?

You bet jurassic can

Wanna hear dadjokeszcź?

My English teacher told me to polish my pronunciation.

I misplaced something at the office. A nice man in a turban helped me locate it. I guess it's true what they say.

Sikh and you shall find.

(edit: same man teased me about the pronunciation. It was good natured, but it was still a Sikh burn)

(also a comma)

A man and a women are in Hawaii on their honeymoon

They start arguing over the pronunciation of "Hawaii".

The man says it is pronounced "Hawaii" while the woman firmly believes it is pronounced "Havaii".

The woman is sick of this silly argument interfering with their vacation so she asks a local how it is pronounced and he says "Havaii...

The snake in the desert

N.B. The joke only works if you use American pronunciation, but it's a long joke and I didn't want people to get to the end and complain there's no punchline.

A man named Steve is stuck in a dead end job, 9-5, 7 days a week in a little run down office in the middle of town. He hates it and h...

An American couple are on holiday traveling through Wales

On their way they see a sign for a place called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and decide to head there for something to eat. As they make their way there they debate the pronunciation of the town’s name.

They stop for lunch and one tourist asks the cashier, “Befor...

I tried to get my friend to stop eating Canada...

But he was having Nunavut.

^^^the ^^^pronunciation ^^^doesn't ^^^work ^^^that ^^^way ^^^but ^^^whatever ^^^it's ^^^OC

A trip to Wales.

A couple are driving through Wales late one night and they pass through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwilllantysiliogogogoch. With nothing much else to do , they start arguing over the pronunciation. Eventually they decide to stop somewhere and ask a local. They pull up somewhere and go inside...

Spelling bee

A Nebraska Huskers fan was in the finals of the state spelling bee.


"Okay, your word is 'farm,'" the moderator said to the Husker.


He sat there for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. "Um... Can I have a definition?"


"Sure," the moderator said. "It is a...

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?

The spelling and pronunciation.

Officials suspect someone on a flight is a Russian spy

But all the passengers appear to be American tourists returning from abroad. One by one they are taken in for questioning.

"But I swear I'm an American citizen!" the last passenger protests.

"It's a simple test," the official tells him. "Just read what's written on this card."

...

Cation

Pronunciation : [kat-ahy-uhn,-on]

-Noun Chemistry

1.An ion with paws-tive charge.
2.The cutest ion ever.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Friday you Greek prick

So a Chinese bloke and a Greek had take-away shops next door to each other in a fairly busy area, so it was imperative that they got there early and open their shops in order to be ready for the morning breakfast rush.

Every Friday morning, the Greek would ask the Chinaman what day it is.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is on his way into a bar when he spots a nun standing outside looking very confused...

The nun keeps looking up at the sign and trying to peer in through the windows. The man walks up and asks, "Is everything ok, sister? May I help you?"

Puzzled, the nun replies, "I was just trying to figure out... What is this place? What's a 'bar'?"

The man chuckles and says, "You'v...

A guy is flying to Hawaii...

He's unsure of the pronunciation, not sure if its "Hawaii" or "Havaii", so when he gets off of the plane, he looks for a local.

He finds a guy that appears to be a local and asks him, "is it pronounced 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii'?"

The local responds "Havaii!"

The traveler then says th...

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