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Dyslexic hype man:

Let’s do shit this!

With all the Mandalorian hype, I had asked my rich uncle for a first edition toy Yoda for Christmas

But all he gave me was some junky old car.

I don’t get all the hype about the picture of the black hole.

Black holes suck.

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I don't really understand all the hype behind masturbation...

...but you do you, I guess.

The beverage company Nage decided to do something new.

In the tiny village of Mars, Kansas, a new themepark opened on the outskirts of town. Touted as the future of entertainment, the beverage company "Nage" decided to take all their leftover & recycled parts of their product, and turn them into hardened plastic materials to construct their attracti...

Have you seen the hype about these cordroy pillow cases...

They're making headlines everywhere

I don't get this new hype around synthetic meats.

I mean, why are we re-inventing the veal?

I don’t get all the hype about lamp memes

It’s just going to burn itself out

Who would pay a ridiculous amount of money for a pair of average over-hyped headphones?

Beats me.

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hyped up about the Super Bowl.

“It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”

All this hype about that car in space...

It's getting really elon-gated.

I hope college lives up to the hype

All my notebooks say "college ruled" so it must've been somewhat fun

I don't understand all of this Chris Brown hype.

After all his music isn't even that good, his only decent hit was Rihanna.

What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

What drives the hype train?

The hyper drive.

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So there was this guy

So there was this guy, yeah?

He wakes up in the middle of the night, sees an angel standing at the foot of his bed.

Angel says, "Hey, man! Yeah... hate to tell you this, but, um... it's your, uh... time. Yeah."

Dude's all like, "Wait, what? Whaddya mean it's 'my time'?"

A...

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This election has been a bit like watching porn...

The hype was fun but now it's over I'm disgusted by what I'm watching.

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A man decides to buy his family a pet

So he goes downtown to a new pet store that's advertising exotic animals. Walking around the store the man sees a frog on sale for $1,500 and asks the cashier "why is this frog so expensive?"

The cashier chuckles a little and says "well that sir isn't just any frog, it's a South American blow...

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Missionary

I heard this joke in my native language, so I hope it makes sense in English.

There's this married couple, and the wife is tired of having sex only in the missionary style, so she tells her husband, "Go hang out with your friends, talk to them, listen to their ideas about different sex styles...

An Amazon executive walks into a Whole Foods

It's his first time there, and he wants to see what all the hype is about.

The executive goes shopping for his normal every day needs, and even picks out a couple extra things that stood out to him for an impulse buy.

The executive goes to the counter to check out, and the clerk rings ...

I know this is r/jokes, but I have to share this with someone.

I'm about to go and see the bank manager and my life will change forever. I'll finally have the money to take my kids abroad, buy my wife that car she's always wanted and have plenty left over to enjoy Christmas.

I'm talking *millions* here, guys. I can't contain my excitement, in fact, I'm s...

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A guy walks into a Pet Shop.

He says he is looking for the best pet, a "companion".
The seller says "I have a parrot, a very smart one, he speaks in English, Spanish and German, and he knows some physics and mechanics"
The client, surprised, asks for the price, the seller says 500 USD.
The client, still hyped for the p...

Rabbi in a restaurant...

There once was a rabbi who had been a rabbi for many years and, all his life, he'd tried to be a good Jew. He obeyed the ten commandments, he read the Torah frequently and he kept kosher– but, secretly, he'd always wanted to try pork.


Everybody made so much fuss about pork and bacon and h...

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.

Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"

Big Catholic ...

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