UPJOKE
lovefondnessemotionfeelingpassionsympathyintimacylovingdesireheartattachmentdevotionrespectkindnesswarmth

I realized that affection is just moving both of your hands at the same time.

Think about it. What is love but a second hand in motion?

How do you show a chef some affection?

You give them a quiche

I wanted to improve my physical affection skills, so I went down to the library and took out a book called “How to Hug”...

...You can imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be volume six of the Oxford English Dictionary

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anyone know where I can find someone to share a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations?

Asking for a friend.

What happens when Nurgle has an affection for Han Solo?

Nurgle would try to Wuhan....

A boy was asking out a girl when she replied to his affection with the line "I love you too, but like a brother!"

Saddened by her apparent refusal, he started walking away, until the girl said, "Wait. from where I'm from, that's good."

Confused, the boy asked, "Well, where is that?"

"Alabama."

What do broken saws have in common with targets of neckbeard affection?

They're not reciprocating.

Whats the difference between affection and adore?

You can't slam your wife's head in affection.

After getting married the wife and I gradually stopped making public displays of affection...

... along with all other displays of affection.

I have a hardcore yeast affection.

I love breads and doughs.

Uh-oh. I think the object of my affections suspects something.

She's changed her WiFi name to "HeyYouInTheTreeIveCalledThePolice".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is as good a day as any to post this old one...

An older catholic priest is sweeping up between the pews after mass when a very attractive scantily clad young woman rushes into the church. She is visibly upset as she runs up to the priest, holding her face in her hands and sobbing.

Although the priest noticed her ample physique and skim...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A high school principal made an announcement at an assembly.

He said, "Boys and girls, the faculty have witnessed an alarming increase in public displays of affection, which are against school policy. Effective immediately, we will start issuing fines to those caught doing this. A first offense will be $5. A second offense will be $10. A third offense will be...

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