After many faithful years as a Christian, John's dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.

At the wedding he walks over to his best friend for advice.
"Hey man! What is it that I'm supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?"
"Ah, that's simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees."
"Ah! Thanks dude!"
"No problem!" ...

After months of hard work and dedication, I finally have a body I am proud of!

It was worth the weight

3 months of thorough dedication, proper diet and workout sessions but now the time has come, it is cheat day

can't wait to sleep with my girlfriend's sister.

I’ve heard that ‘obsessed’ is a word lazy people use to describe ‘dedication.’

But I would never call my wife lazy.

A joke from one of my friends who's an airline pilot

So he often says, right before take off "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to thank you for choosing Jet Blue and would also like to thank the wonderful flight attendants for their professionalism and dedication to trying to make your flight as safe and comfortable as possible. However, you won't find a...

A group of monks are responsible for hand-making new copies of the bible...

The entire monastery is devoted to the task, each day they all wake up and say their prayers before a humble breakfast and then they begin work. On the anniversary of creating his thousandth copy of the bible since he first joined the monastery two decades ago, brother Gray asks the abbot if he coul...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl walks into a tattoo parlor and explains that she's always wanted a tattoo of her favorite country music star on the inside of her thigh...

She's really conflicted though, because she can't decide between her two favorites, Conway Twitty or George Jones.

The tattoo artist offers a solution: he would do both Conway Twitty AND George Jones, one on each thigh, for only $200 with a free money-back guarantee...if she doesn't like his...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Once there was a boy in Alabama who loved trains.

It was his life, he’d get his dad to take him to train shows, play with them at home, read books about them in elementary school, the works. In high school he studied and kept his GPA high so he’d be able to go for his dreams: to be a train conductor. Upon graduating high school he got accepted int...

3 men are about to take a test to become a CIA agent

They were told that they needed to kill a double agent that was captured recently with the gun given to them. However the trick is that the gun fires blanks and the person in the room is the agent to be’s father, so this is merely a test of dedication, and the final step to becoming a CIA agent
<...

The key to a long marriage (My 85 year old uncle, a retired investment stock broker, used to tell this to his clients. He told it to me and I thought I'd share it)

A pastor was addressing his congregation about marriage and staying together. He asked his flock:

"How many couples have been married for 1 year?"

a bunch of hands rose

"How many couples have been married 5 years?"

Still a lot of hands rose

"How many 10 year couple...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three men are joining the secret service.

They've completed every test and overcome every obstacle. Only one remains. The instructor takes the first man, brings him to a door and hands him a gun.

"Behind this door is your wife. You must prove your loyalty, your dedication to the service and your ability to follow orders, no matter wh...

A young Indian hermit wanted an audience with god..

So, he gave up all his worldly possessions and left society to pray in the woods, he prayed for everyday, then after many many years god appears before him. God: I'm pleased by your dedication, you may ask for anything and I'll grant your wish. Hermit: Okay, but what took you so long...

So there's this cheerio who works at Burger King...

And he's a fantastic employee. He constantly washes tables and takes orders without complaints.

Every month, the Burger King Corporation throws a cheerio employee of the month party. It's always been Honey Nut's dream to go, but Fruity always gets to go. Every. Damn. Month. But not this mont...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Anti-Jokes

Whats green and smells like red paint? Green paint.

Whats worse than biting in to an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

A horse walks in to a bar. Several people get up and leave as they spot the potential danger in the situation.

What's brown and stick...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Four wealthy gentlemen are sitting at a lounge, discussing the pride they feel for their own sons.

The first man exclaims.. "I am very proud of my son, he started at a law firm from the bottom working as a mail boy. Through hard work and dedication, he now owns the firm! He is so rich, he bought his friend a brand new Mercedes!

The second man responds.. "That is very nice, however, my son ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

More than a bit racist

An Arab man comes home one day to his wife and child and says, "My sweet flower, I'm sick of all the dirty looks and prejudice. It's time we convert to Christianity, life will be easier."

The family goes to a priest and the father asks if the priest can convert the family to Christianity. ...

Engineering at its finest

One day, a group of engineering professors are invited by their students to take a vacation on the islands of Hawaii. The professors are pleased and the next day they all enter the plane. However, just before the boarding stage is complete, the captain, who used to be a former student, makes a quick...

Sen. Franklin R. Lee of Idaho was instrumental in obtaining a 100-megawatt hydroelectric plant...

.. on the Givva River for the benefit of his hometown, Medea. When the plant was finished, the dedication plaque read:

> Frank Lee, Medea, Idaho, Givva Dam

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man went on vacation to Thailand once...

...unfortunately something went wrong with the booking of the hotel. His room (and any room for that matter) wouldn't be available until tomorrow. The receptionist told the man that if he asked nicely he might be permitted to stay one night in the local temple along with the monks. So the man made h...

A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State

A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims

"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"

The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciatio...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Once upon a time, there was a sand dune with legs.

Duney they called him, truly one of a kind - a war hero of great accomplishment and honour, until that one fateful night.

It was 7PM, and the sun's glow was falling. Duney was exhausted, stumbling with his gun's barrel scraping along the desert's sand.
That was when Duney's world entered ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

First Tattoo

A man is going on his honeymoon and decided to get a tattoo to show his dedication to his wife. He goes to the tattoo parlor an says he wants her name tattooed on his penis. "what's her name?" asks the artist. "Wendy" he exclaims. "okay. You're going to have to get hard and stay hard for me to fit...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Septic Tanks

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends, who had died while traveling through the area. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I have a mixed feeling about shaggy dog stories.

On one hand, I enjoy them a lot. A joke that takes that much of a setup and has such a tiny payoff is great, not only because the former is disproportionately larger than the latter, but because it can be so anticlimactic it's downright silly. It's a great kind of joke to tell unsuspecting people, e...

A Day in the Life of a Cheerio

One day in Cheerio City, an ordinary young Cheerio started his day. He decided to get a job. He was nearing his sell by date and figured it was time. There are three social classes in Cheerio City: the Regulars, the Wheats, and the Frosteds. The young Cheerio was simply a Regular and had little to n...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why are black people so good at sports?

Hard work and dedication.

The best part about Ray Lewis being on ESPN is..

I can hear a guy with six kids by four different women lecture me about commitment & dedication.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three couples want to join a church

... One has been married for 25 years, the second couple has been married for 5 years, and newlyweds. The priest tells them they can join the church, but only if they don't have sex for one week to prove their dedication.

A week later they return and the priest asks them how it went. The cou...

A medical Doctor is teaching, and everyone is around a corpse, ready for their first lesson.

"Welcome, class. OK, since this is your first lesson, I have to tell you: The 2 most important things to be a good doctor are: *Dedication* and *Observation*."

Doctor then proceeds to unveil the corpse, a big, fat woman who got shot in the head.

"This is *Dedication*". The doctor proc...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I got fired from my job doing porn...

I had all the dedication in the world but too many times i came in too early.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Top secret mission recruiting...

So the Joint Chiefs of Staff are searching for a soldier for a top secret mission, and they send out to the Army, Navy and Marines for their best soldiers to be considered for this mission.
So the Army sends it's best Ranger, he is pristine in his uniform, his chest covered with all his ribbons,...