After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child.

Though to be fair, Trump kinda had it coming.

It's a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore...

I just bought a TV & it said "Built in Antenna". I don't even know where that is.

It's such a shame when people break up over the phone.

They should try hanging up and trying again.

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The headmistress at my exclusive girl’s college was lecturing us on Sexual morality......

“In moments of temptation,” she said to the class, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”

She got so furious when I got up and asked “How do you make it last an hour?”

I'm horrible at funerals.

Whenever I'm at funerals for some reason no one ever likes my speeches. You see, when i go up to the podium speak about the deceased, i like to compliment their intelligence. "He knew too much" is what i usually say. Not sure why people give me the funny looks there, and I'm usually kicked out when ...

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As a child, my wife wanted to become a mechanic for National Express but never followed that dream, which is a shame.

I'd love to see her under a fucking bus.

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A man on a train is sitting across a sexy young lady, with a short skirt on

The young lady uncrosses her legs and he notices that she isn't wearing any panties. She saw him look, and says "Are you looking at my pussy?"
The man shamefully says "I'm so sorry, it won't happen again!"
"It's ok," she says, "I can make it do tricks. Look, I'll blow you a kiss"
The ...

My friend shamed me for paying for a hooker...

...I do gotta admit, his mom was expensive.

By mistake his Phone rang in Church during prayers...

The Priest scolded him ...

After prayers, the congregation admonished him for interrupting the silence.

His wife lectured him on his carelessness until they got home.

One could see the shame, embarrassment n humiliation on his face !!

*He has never stepped into the Church...

The stupid criminal hall of shame.

STUPID-CRIMINAL HALL OF SHAM:

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene a...

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Three nuns are waiting in their monastery, each equally as tired and sweaty in the mid-summer heat

One of the nuns offers to disrobe, which the other two agree upon, seeing the brutal sun. Each of them stand nude in the empty cathedral, doing their daily duties until a knock is heard upon the door.

"Wardrobe man." Says the man, and the first nun repentantly opens the door. The man, unable ...

If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags

Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy

You shouldn't fat shame people.

But to be truthful, they won't come running after you.

What is the similarity between a joke and shame

It's on me

You should never fat-shame people

They've already got enough on their plate

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Taliban commander called a meeting.

-Fellow taliban fighters! Are we a great nation?!
- YEEEES!
- How come we still don’t have a nuke?!
- well... that’s a shame commander! Let’s get one!!
So they got together, built a huge rocket out of tree, emptied some space in the middle using axes, cooked some uranium-235 using old Am...

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What do you call a brand new Baby Yoda buttplug?

A **Toy Yoda Pre-Ass.**

I came up with this in a hot parking lot and it just stuck in my brain.

I hate when my hose stops spraying water.

But then I remember not to kink shame.

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What’s the difference between shameful porn and peeing after ages?

One makes you go (sigh... unzip) and the other makes you go (unzip... sigh)

Two Irish men, mick and Dara are walking in the woods..

Mick and Dara are walking in the woods when they come up on a sign saying "Job opportunity! Good pay. Tree fellers wanted."
"Ah, jaysus" says Dara, 'tis but a shame there's only two of us"!

Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problem with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about consuming a mother of two.

But upon further consideration he was gladiator.

A group of friends are hiking in the mountains, when they spot a bear running towards them...

They frantically drop everything then start running from the bear. But the bear soon catches up to the slowest friend and mauls him.

The horrified friends watch in horror as the bear feasts on their deceased mate.

Then one of them breaks into tears sobbing:


"I feel so guilty...

That’s a nice ham you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if someone...

...put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end...

A man walks into a bakery with a goldfish in a bowl under his arm and says “Do you have fish cakes?” The lady behind the counter replies, “No”.

That’s a shame he says “It’s his birthday.”

A group of Irish friends arrive on vacation in the Caribbean.

Being typical Irish, the first thing they do after checking in and dropping off their luggage is to find a nice-looking bar and get a drink. In the bar, they meet a group of attractive Nordic ladies, proceed to join tables and get to doing some serious drinking together.

A few rounds in, thin...

It’s a shame coronavirus affects the infirm and elderly most

If it affected idiocy instead there’d be a lot more toilet paper available

Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie.

He should've watched the trailer.

Shame a girl for her breast size and I’ll push you into traffic.

Who’s flat now?

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A doctor had sex with his patient and felt an overwhelming amount of guilt about it the next day. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the shame. Once and a while, a voice would reassure him

"Don't worry, I'm sure you're not the only medical practitioner to have sex with their patient."

Then another voice would jump in and bring him back to reality: "you are a sick bastard." It whispered "and a terrible veterinarian."

What is a mans greatest shame?

When he runs naked into a wall with a hard on and hits his nose.

People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal.

But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.

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Gates of Heaven

4 nuns die in a tragic bus crash.

They find themselves at the gates of heaven, where Peter greets them warmly. "Sisters, to enter into heaven, you must confess a sin." The sisters line up in front of Peter, who is smiling warmly.

The first nun pauses, takes a deep breath, and says "I....

That's a nice sham you've got there. It would be a shame if somebody...

added an e.

A man goed bear hunting for the first time in a long while...

Hiding in the woods he spots a bear through the scope of his hunting rifle. He aims... shoots... and hits the bear!

Excited to hit the bear in one shot he grabs his gear and runs over to where te bear was hit. But to his disappointed, the bear is not there and not a single trace of blood can ...

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Had to shit

Just over halfway through the flight, all the coffee in my stomach feels like it's percolating its way down into my lower intestine. I hunker down and try and focus on other things. What feels like an hour, but probably isn't more than twenty minutes, passes. We then enter what turns out to be prett...

Two Irishmen walked up to a logging company...

Two Irishmen walked up to a logging company, when they saw a poster :

"Tree fellers wanted! We are hiring"

"That's a shame" , said one of the Irishmen , "There's only two of us!

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It's a shame Congressman Cummings has died....

I guess he's Congressman Goings now


This way out? Thanks....

I hate it when people make all these fat jokes to shame fat people

They have enough on their plate already

Just a reminder that Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you...

They Seamus all.

It's my special day today but I can't think of any good jokes...

It's a shame, I thought it would be a piece of cake.

The Washington Redskins are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.

....from now on they will be known simply as the Redskins.

I think it's really shameful how people criticize Lance Armstrong for taking drugs, the man won 7 Tour De France's on them.

When I'm on drugs, I can't even *find* my bike.

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I've realised that I can speak to the dead

A shame really, since they can't hear me for shit

I'm starting a band who will sing songs in the style of Boy George that publicly shame bad behavior and call for boycotts of questionable opinions...

...It's called Cancel Culture Club.

My friend confessed to me saying that he was starting to develop a bestiality fetish...

Not wanting to kink shame him I ask “How did you get into it?”

“Well I did some research on the internet and ended up going down a rabbit hole”

Parallel lines have so much in common

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

My girlfriend recently left me after we had an argument about What is Love

Such a shame, too, she really Haddaway with words.

It's a shame the immigrants and their kids at the U.S. border aren't named Church and State

then the GOP would never separate them.

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There was a rude monkey who always made fun of the a lion.

So there lion always ignored him and pretended the monkey didn't exist. Anyhow one time the monkey came and barraged the lion with insults, while a lioness was watching.

As usual the lion ignored, even though the monkey was on the ground, not even trying to hide.

Angry at the lion, th...

Sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and many hours of hard work, one of my colleagues was struck off today due to a minor indiscretion....

He slept with one of his patients. Even though they were good friends, he is no longer allowed to work in the profession he has loved all this time. Such a shame as he is a genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet...

It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green.

That would've been sublime.

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Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice,

shame on your mother for raising such a little cunt

It's a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack.

If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.

Did you hear about the Midwestern dairy farmers? Apparently they've begun a new trend of covering their cows' teets with fabric because they felt like their heifers were indecent.

It's Being Called An Udder Shame.

Saved a woman from the shame of prostitution today!

I didn’t pay her.

It’s a shame that Steven Hawking died

He’s been on a roll since age 21.

Have you ever heard of the "walk of shame"?

It's when you are redditing on the toilet for so long that your legs fall asleep and you have to walk back the recliner like an octopus.

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Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye...

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A Russian Jew had been allowed to emigrate to Israel.

A Russian Jew had been allowed to emigrate to Israel.

At Moscow airport, customs found a Lenin statue in his baggage and asked him, "What is this?"

The man replied, "What is this? Wrong question comrade. You should have asked : Who is he? This is Comrade Lenin. He laid the foundations...

It's a shame kids are bringing MP5's to school these days

Back in my days, kids only brought MP3's!

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BECOMING IRISH

Seven-year-old Mohammad entered his classroom in Dublin on the first day of school..


"What's your name?", asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.

"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher,
"so from now on you will be known as Mick."

Mohammad returned hom...

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Being accepted into the Baptist church requires a tough test.

The minister meets with three married couples who want to join the Baptist Church. The first couple are retirees from Florida, the second couple are in their early 40s, and the last couple are newlyweds, having been married only 3 weeks. "We have developed a small test for those who want to join, I'...

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Another blowjob joke.

I was in the pub with my mates and we started talking about sex. They all started taking the piss out of me because I didn’t know what a ‘blowjob’ was. Later that night, me and the wife started getting frisky and I suddenly found the courage to ask her if she knew what a blowjob was, but she just go...

All timezones are equal and shouldn't be shamed

Greenwich is just mean

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It's such a shame about tomorrow's session on Prophecies

It got cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Paddy and Murphy were walking back from the pub together when they saw a job flyer posted on telegraph pole. It read “Tree-Fellers Wanted”

Paddy turned to Murphy and said “it’s a shame Seamus isn’t here, we’d be perfect for that job”

I put a winning bet on how long a marriage would last?

....shame it was mine

Going through the loft and found some Xmas presents from last year

A real shame about that dog for the kids...

a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. "ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?" said the girl. "no, we cant" the guy replied. "why?"

"it's Haram, Bae"

Shock me once, shame on you.

Shock me twice, that's just revolting.

A little British boy raises his hand to ask his teacher a question

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c...

Jesus and the woman taken in adultery

The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"

All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarel...

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I’ve been asked to name and shame all those horrible people..

..that have been taking the piss out of me for wearing mittens, but I’m not going to point fingers.

You know what's a shame?

A bus carrying lawyers and politicians going off a cliff and everyone on board dying.

You know what's a damn shame?


There was an empty seat in the back.

One thing that you shouldn't say to Marie Antoinette

You left my head hanging in shame

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How Italians talk..

There were three POWs together in a British prison in the Second World War, a German, a Japanese, and an Italian.

The British began by torturing the German. After long hours of silence infected by bloodcurdling screams, he talked, and was sent back to the prison, ashamed. He told the others w...

Its a real shame about Bary Chuckle

He always be a British legend to me, and to you.

Such a shame to hear about dale winton

A real bummer really.

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My first time posting here, made up this one late night so, please be gentle with me kind stranger...

So a Cambodian guy walks into a bar,
He orders a drink from the bartender.
The bartender was new to the place and hasn't seen much foreigners so confused by the customer's race he makes conversation saying.
"Hey your people are famous for their great sushi I've heard"

The guy looks...

Horse walks into a bar...

Horse walks into a bar, the barman says “why the long face”.

The horse looks disappointed, and says “that’s a shame that I come into this bar expecting to relax but instead get treated with disrespect and stereotyped for my looks in the assumption that I don’t have feelings”.

The barma...

Shame to admit, my german grandpa told me this joke

How do you calculate the escape route of a jew?

Chimney Height * Strength of wind

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It's a real shame that, in this day and age, Barrack Obama had to give his speech about Martin Luther King Jr., while standing behind bullet proof glass...

Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot somebody...

The Hunchback of Notre Dame had died

The priests realized they would need a new person to ring the bells. They decided to hold auditions. After advertising the position in the town center there was a long line of peasants waiting to try out the next day.

One by one the priests called the peasants forward to pull the rope, ring t...

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