I recently got a job selling vacuums and finally got the courage to make a pun around my new coworkers

it sucked.

I finally got the courage to tell my brother to stop sitting on my chest to wake me up.

It was a big weight off my chest.

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so ...

Got rejected by long term girlfriend,after I took her to dinner at a fancy restaurant,mustered up the courage,got down on my knee and finally proposed

A threesome with my wife.

A young buffalo builds up the courage to finally come out to his father...

The father buffalo smiles and says, "thank you for confiding in me, I always thought you were bison."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man works up courage to ask his wife how many sexual partners she had before him

She says "really?" and goes silent. Doesn't say anything in the morning. Or afternoon. Or the next day. After 3 days, husband approaches his wife and apologetically asks - "Why are you giving me the silent treatment? Are you mad at me for that stupid question?"

Raising her finger she says "Sh...

“It’s easy to stand in the crowd, but it takes courage to stand alone”, Mahatma Gandhi

“It’s easy to stand alone but it takes courage to stand in a crowd” , Covid-19

Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself. Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith". Satan laughs and replies: Awh it's not so bad.

He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live. As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, a request that's always gran...

I finally mustered up the courage to ask my masseuse out to a movie date...

When we got to the ticket counter she asks, “Does it cost more if there is a happy ending?”

A paraphrasing of a joke my friend wrote.

Johnny sits at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig, and menacingly says, “Well thank you! Whatcha gonna to do about it?"

Johnny burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying. What’s your problem?"

"This is the worst day of my life," Johnny says. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table. He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. His reflexes kick in and he reaches out, plucks it out of the air, and hands it back to her.

The redhead is mortified. “Oh my, I am so sorry,” she says as she pops her eye back into place. “Let me buy your ...

Technology is the death of us

DEAR NEIGHBOR:


Hi, George. This is Richard, next door. I've a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text. I can't live with myself a minute longer without your...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Get it?

There was a guy who had just one out of two testicles.


So naturally he was very ashamed of his condition and decided to do something about it.


So he went to a doctor and told him "Doc, I suffer from a condition which I am very ashamed of and it's likely that you wouldn't have ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of golfers get stuck behind a really slow group

Four golfers (a doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer) are stuck behind a really slow group of golfers. They start to get frustrated, so they call up the course's pro.

"Hey, how come you're letting guys like this on the course? They're hitting their balls all over the place, spending wa...

After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $5,000,000.00 which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment..

And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50

A kid in high school really likes this girl and finally gets the courage to ask her to prom.

To his surprise and delight, she says yes. He wants to make this night very special so he decides to get a tuxedo, a limo, and really nice flowers. First, he goes to the tux rental store and sees there is a line, but he waits and finally gets the perfect fit. Next he goes to the car rental store and...

Which has more courage, a rock or a tree?

A rock, because it's boulder!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy finally gathers up his courage and asks his crush out.

She says yes, and he invites her to an amusement park. They ride the carousel, the roller coaster and the ferris wheel. Then he asks her "What do you wanna do next?" She tells him "I wanna be weighed!"

As a matter of fact, there's a weight guesser present at the park,and they go to his stand....

Thanks to a comedian friend's advise, today I finally mustered up the courage to have a conversation with my crush.

So happy, I think it went exactly as he had advised: ended on a hi.

Three men go walking their dogs to go to the bar

Three men walking their dogs together walk to a bar that has a big sign saying "no dogs allowed"

The first man says "I'll have a drink" and walks in and when the bouncer points to the sign the man sticks his arm out straight and says "it's a seeing eye dog" and gets in

The second man,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It takes a lot of courage to shave using a cutthroat blade. I used to shave my privates using one.

I don’t have the balls to do that anymore.

There's a boy named Bonnie...

There’s a boy named Bonnie.

He is made fun of throughout high school because of his weird name, and so he is become very shy.

But he has a crush on a girl and works up the courage to ask her out.

She says yes, and he is so happy.


After years of dating, he works up ...

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya...

...after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and found ...

Why did the chicken cross the yellow brick road?

Because he was looking for courage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a wooden eye watches people at the dance...

After always being the butt of jokes or bullying, he was scared to ask any girl to dance with him. He always had a fancy for Betsy, who was born with a hairlip. He always figured since they shared a similar fate, she might sympathize with him. He finally mustered up enough courage and asked Betsy, "...

In which army does it take more courage to retreat than advance?

The red army

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The difference between courage and ballsy

Courage is, when you come home late after a night out with the boys and getting attacked at the door by your wife with a broom and having enough courage to ask her "Are you still cleaning or are you about to go out and fly?"



Ballsy is, when you when you come home late after a night ou...

By nature, Jason was very intelligent but a bit shy. One day he went into a bar, and he saw a stunningly attractive woman sitting alone at a table drinking a white-wine spritzer.

Jason couldn’t take his eyes off this lady, and eventually, he gathered up the courage to walk across and speak to her.

“Hello, I’m Jason. Would you mind if I sat with you and chatted for a while?” asked Jason quietly but politely.

The woman responded by yelling at the top of her voice...

A man walks up to the Widow at a funeral and asks if he can say a word.

"Of course", she replies.

The man plucks up the courage and says, "Bargain".

The Widow looks at him, teary eyed and says,

"Thank you so much, that means a great deal".

Leg amputees are the most courageous people on earth.

Whatever the situation, they never get cold feet.

What do you call cattle that don't have courage?

Cowards.




*Thanks folks, I wrote this when I was 7 years old!*

The Netherlands VS Greece (First impression )

So I moved to Netherlands some years ago and I'd like to share with you my experiences. Feel free to give me feedback in what you think.



So when I first grounded here, first think I did, I googled a super market and went to buy some cigarettes ( DO NOT SMOKE HERE, IT COSTS LIKE 10 EUR...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another blowjob joke.

I was in the pub with my mates and we started talking about sex. They all started taking the piss out of me because I didn’t know what a ‘blowjob’ was. Later that night, me and the wife started getting frisky and I suddenly found the courage to ask her if she knew what a blowjob was, but she just go...

There was this fella having some drinks at a bar....

And all evening he kept eyeballing this beautiful, young woman, sitting at a table with what appeared to be a few of her friends. He noticed she would smile at him and subtly play with her hair, and from what he gathered, she was into him.

After building up some liquid courage, he decides it ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian, an American, and a British admiral were having a drink on an American aircraft carrier. They were talking about the bravery of their sailors

.

The Russian said, “I will demonstrate the bravery of our sailors.”

He calls a sailor over and says, “Jump off the ship. Swim under it and climb back up.”

The sailor promptly salutes and jumps off the flight deck, swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front o...

The Different Son

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.

The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our 10th child never quite looked like the rest of our childre...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Staring at my girlfriend's ring, I can't believe it took me months to pluck up the courage to finally ask the big question...

"Can we try anal?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lonely superman

So one day superman is flying around lonely when he noticed wonder women naked on the beach having what looks like a wet dream.

He figures if he can fly down at the speed of light and do his business she would never even notice. After a few minutes he finally builds the courage and boom he go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a small penis finally gathers the courage to talk to a doctor about it.

The man explains his situation, and asks the doctor if there are any over the counter pills he can take.

"Not really, you see, most of these miracle pills don't actually work, and come with a plethora of side effects," the doctor replied. "But, I can write you a prescription that should fix t...

I've been trying to sum up the courage to ask out my crush.

I've gotten to the point where I can now look into her eyes and not be nervous!

Next step: Do it without binoculars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys, today I finally mustered up all my courage to lick my girlfriends pussy...

I’m still bleeding from where it scratched me...

Five years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams to go out on a date with me. Today, after FINALLY working up the courage, I asked her to marry me!

She said no both times...

A shy lad was at a party and got talking to a pretty girl. After a while he builds up the courage to tells her that she is gorgeous and asks if she would like to go back to his place to look at his stamp collection...

... “Philately will get you nowhere!” the girl replies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Somebody told my g/f it was sexy to bite her lip posing for photographs....

I still haven't found the courage to tell her its the bottom lip you bite......





(you just tried to bite your upper lip)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hadn’t gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world.

Finally, Karen surrendered. With some courage, she told her family members that she will go out again. That said, she didn’t really know anyone suitable.

Her daughter immediately replied: “Mom! I have someone for you to meet.” Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another, and, afte...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Anal"tomy

On the first day of their anatomy class, first year medical school students gathered around the surgery table with a real dead human body. The teacher started the course by telling them, “If you really want to become a doctor, you have to have 2 important qualities: The first is that you have to be...

I worked up the courage to call out my overweight cat today.

I asked him "If you're such a fat cat, where is all your money?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several years after having kids, two guys are sitting in a bar and one finally gets the courage to ask the other why he's Anti-Vax.

The Anti-Vaxxer takes only a second to look around the bar, making sure no one can hear, and finally leans in real close and says:

"I'm not, my kid's just a fuckin' dickhead."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a child born missing an eye...

At birth the doctors decided it best to give the child a wooden eye until the family could afford to get the baby a nice glass eye.

Sadly the family could never afford it. And the boy was bullied a lot in school over it and eventually was taken out and home schooled. Everywhere he went he had...

The scariest book of all time!! [LONG]

There once lived an author named Mr. Troller. He was infamous as the writer of the scariest book ever. Only three people ever bought his book and after reading his book , all the three guys passed away . The reason nobody bought his book was because it was damn expensive ($150,000) and nobody wanted...

Finally got the courage to introduce my girlfriend to my family

Safe to say my wife wasn’t happy.

After years of loneliness, I finaly gathered all my courage to take my ex out

It’s good to be a sniper in the US army

I finally plucked up enough courage to beat up the school bully.

It was a different school, and 15 years later,
but damn it felt good

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Well, it's a well story.

When I was in my 5th grade, my English teacher told this story.
Once there lived a landlord in a village.He was rich. He had a daughter which meant the world to him. One day while he was on his way to work, he heard the news that his daughter fell inside a well, while she was playing. He immediat...

The Red Shirt

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.

One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Cap...

Did anyone here watch WWDC 2019 today? I was, and I truly admired Apple’s courage

Only they have the courage to sell a $1,000 stand that you’ve got to buy after paying $5,000 for a monitor.

Such courage

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's only gonna be seven planets in the sky tonight!

"Why? There's eight planets." She said with a look that only someone truly offended can give you. Our hero and Random Girl #24 talked for hours about space, planets, and stars until they both were well aquatinted with one another. She was leaning on his shoulder and then asked again, "why'd you say ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

And sees a huge sign behind the bar that says, "free drinks if you can complete the bar challenge". The man orders a beer and asks the bartender about the bar challenge. The bartender tells him that its a rigorous 3 step challenge that if you complete it you get all your drinks that night for free. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man who barely looks of age walks into a bar...

...and orders a shot of whiskey. After checking his ID, the bartender pours him one. The young man grabs the shot glass and throws it back, slams it down on the counter and orders another.

The bartender pours it and again the young man slams it back and demands one more.
The bartender rel...

I finally gathered the courage to ask my wife if a second woman could come in bed with us

She asked who the first was

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad always told me you only wake up with what you go to bed with

Go to bed with courage and you'll wake up with it...

Go to bed needing a shit, you're not gonna have a good morning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Swan?

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, supervised by a few gruff looking nuns.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their f...

I finally found the courage to break up with my violent and abusive sausage boyfriend

So you can imagine my horror when my friend tells me “the wurst is behind you”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

“Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl who I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

“Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.

“Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally built up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

“That's great!" sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The great detective Herlock Sholmes was hired to investigate the disappearance of one of the most important political figures in the nation.

He was quickly briefed on the current situation: at two in the morning, a young woman named Andrea had been captured by an unknown party. Now normally, a kidnapping wouldn’t be something to call in the great Herlock Sholmes for, but Andrea was a special case.

In the nation of Modgasia, the go...

I got up the courage to try the change machine at the laundromat today

But it must be out of order

my life is still the same







This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Injured Pirate Captain

An old pirate captain was having a talk with a young pirate captain out on the docks.

They joked for a bit until the young captain gets the courage to ask: “What happened to your leg?”

The old captain was eager to respond: “Oh this ‘ere leg? Well ye see lad, I was in a chase with an en...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents...

They're gay.

A reporter in the old west.

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

One morning when Dorothy woke up, she walked outside and realized she wasn't in Kansas anymore.

Just then, a good witch appeared. "Welcome to the land of Oz," she said. "If you want to return home, you must follow the yellow-brick road to the Emerald City and speak directly to the Wizard of Oz himself." And so, Dorothy set off down the yellow-brick road.

Dorothy walked through a farm an...

Romie couldn’t take his eyes off of Julie

and so one day he plucked up the courage to ask her out on a date. He told her to meet him at the new fancy Italian restaurant at 7pm.

Romie got their early and Julie arrived at bang on 7pm as agreed. They both walk in to the restaurant and the waiter takes them to a romantic table alone in ...

After watching her daily for a few months I finally gathered courage to go talk to her.

Me: I think you are cute, how about we go watch a movie and dinner later tonite?

Her: Sorry, but I don't think coworkers are allowed to date per HR policy.


Me: that should not be a problem as I don't think of you as a coworker. I never see you doing any work...

Wait a minute

Serious answer, here's the longest joke I know by heart.

Three men die and go to heaven. They meet St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks at his notebook, then back to them and says "we have something interesting here. All three of you died at roughly the same time and in roughly the ...

It took a lot of courage but I finally told my girlfriend I couldn't see her anymore.

And of course, just as I expected, she nagged about me always misplacing my glasses.

The road was wet, the moon was high, we were alone, just her and I. The moon was bright, her eyes were too, I knew just what she wanted to do.. So with my courage, I did my best, and placed my hand, upon her breast. I knew she was ready, but I didn't know how..

It was my first time ever, milking a cow.

Embarrassing Situation

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "...

My boss said I "lacked courage" so I walked out...

Got a coffee to calm down and returned to my desk.

Caitlyn Jenner receives ESPY Arthur Ashe Award for Courage

Courage? More like a lack of balls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory.

A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory as a pickle packer and he excitedly goes home to tell his wife the good news.

"Try not to get fired, we really need this job" she tells him.

The first day on the job he comes home and she asks, "How was work today?"

He replies "I lo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke my dad told me

So one day a man gets into a bad car crash and wakes up a week later in the hospital. The doctor says “I have some good news and some bad news, bad news is you lost your penis in the crash, the good news is there is an African doctor who can replace it with an elephant trunk, and seeing your situati...

My uncle's favorite joke.

A man with a wooden eye was always nervous asking girls to dance. He was always scared they would find his wooden eye too scary and say no. But he saw a pretty girl with a harelip across the dance floor and mustered up the courage to ask her to dance. Once he asked, she was ecstatic and couldn't bel...

Trump was rushed to the hospital after learning that 3 Brazilians died from the Coronavirus

Lying in the hospital bed his face still white with shock, he finally got the courage to ask shakily and in a quiet voice, “How many people is a brazillion?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This guy Bill has been having headaches for about 40 years..

...he doesnt know what to do so he finally goes to a doctor for the pain. The doctor checks him and says "bill I’m not sure how to tell you this , but you have a very rare condition where your balls press up against your spine and put pressure on your head. That’s why you've been getting these heada...

Which is more courageous a pebble or a stick?

The pebble, it's a little boulder.

Elephants never forget...

There was a boy who grew up in India with his father, a diplomat. When he was almost nine, he used to run away from his tutor and go to walk through the forests. On one such occasion, he heard a strange noise and veered off the path to investigate. He saw a young elephant, lying on the ground, appar...

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked...

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared.


A few minutes later, the same man stopped by again, lifted her sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared.


When...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian, an Irishman, and a Polack are in line for a job interview.

The Italian is up first. He walks into the boss’s office and notices the boss is completely ear-less.

The boss says to him “Mr. Marino, I don’t have a lot of time so I’ll get to the point. I like people who are observant and can speak their mind. Say one thing about me!”

The Italian sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time there was a boy with a wooden eye...

At his high school dance he was standing with his friends, too nervous to ask any girls to dance. "I'm afraid they'll make fun of my wooden eye..." he said.

His friend pointed to a girl with a wooden leg standing by herself in the corner, and said, "Hey, see that girl with the wooden leg? ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is standing on the edge of the Verrazzano bridge ready to jump

As she's working up the courage to take the last step off, a sailor walks by and sees her. He says, "Ma'am, I can't pretend to know what you're going through but I promise it isn't worth this. Tomorrow my ship leaves for Rome. Why don't I sneak you on and when we get there we can run off and start a...

How did the hot dog get a date?

He mustard up the courage to ask.

A man is sitting at a bar, staring at his drink

A man is sitting at a bar, staring at his drink, not moving. After about 20 minutes of this another man notices and walks over and grabs the drink from the man and gulps it down. He sets the glass down and looks at the man he just stole from, waiting for a reaction. The man who had his drink stolen ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 window cleaners are working up a 20 story tall building

While working halfway the building 1 of them fell, obviously causing him to instantly die.

"Well fuck, that man had a wife. We need to tell him." One of the men said.

While the other man backed up and said he wasn't gonna tell her, the first man took the courage and went over to the w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a priest go fishing

A man and a priest are out fishing on a boat when the man hooks a large fish. After fighting this fish for several minutes, he pulls it into the boat and joyously exclaims, "Look at that son-of-a-bitch!!!"

The priest replies, "My goodness, what language."

The man thinks quickly, "Ha ha...

A little girl, around 10 years old, walks into a bakery

The baker's wife, taking care of the sales at the till, can't help but notice her deformed face, her palate cleft and her whole distorted body, forcing her to use crutches to move around. The wife, thinking what a poor life she must have had, asks kindly what she could do to help the lil girl :
...

Just after the US Civil War, a handsome and proper Texan Colonel, a beautiful young debutante, and a foppish city boy from the east found themselves travelling by train through the heartland of Texas.

As they rode in silence, the Texan couldn't help but notice the city boy kept staring at the young woman. He scowled his disapproval each time he caught the boy's eye, but the boy kept staring at the woman.

Finally, the city boy screwed up his courage, placed his hand on the debutante's knee,...

The hardest part of getting a girls phone number is

working up the courage to go through her purse and get it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is courage??

COURAGE?

What is the meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a Bull in a bullfight without any weapon?

Is it to undertake a cross-country auto trip in a Chrysler Corporation car?

Is it to fly a fighter plane in combat?

Is it to undergo open-heart surgery knowing that th...

I made a joke about ugly people the other day.

Someone walked up to me and hugged me and said " it takes courage to talk about your face"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During World War 2, three generals were arguing over who had the best soldiers.

The British general called one of his men over.


“Private! See that nazi tank in the minefield there? Go destroy it.”


“Yes, Sir!” The soldier replied and started running.


He ran across the unmarked minefield until within range of the tank with his anti-tank weapon, to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Becker was a cantankerous old Farmer

But he owns some best Land in the valley for Deer hunting. People had asked permission to hunt on his land forever and always ended up hightailing out of there to escape the barrage of expletives hurled at them and a potential for a dusting of rock salt out of his shotgun.

My buddy Cory an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A biker walks into a bar.

As he made his way to the bartender, he spotted a 30-ish y/o man sitting in his table with a serious look in his face, staring daggers at the cup of drink before him.

Feeling great for the day, the biker made his way to the sitting man and directly took his cup, and drank the whole thing as a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So he walks in for a Condom...

This young 18 year old young man walks into a drugstore nervously and after hesitating, summons the courage to approach the pharmacist at the counter and gets even more nervous. The wise and experienced pharmacist smiles and asks him to relax and open up. He finally blurts out:
"I'd like to buy ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two teenagers are on a date...

The date is going well, and after some making out towards the end of the evening, the guy asks if he can get a blowjob. "I'm sorry, but if I do that for you I feel like you won't respect me after" she says. After a year and a half of dating, they get married. On their wedding night, the new husband...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Challenge Jar

A man walks into a bar. He approaches the bartender to order his drink and can’t help but notice a huge glass jar packed to the brim with $100 bills.

So the man asks the bartender, “What’s the deal with that jar?”

The bartender replies, “That’s our challenge jar. You put $100 in and i...

A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

“Sir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!”

My boss looked so surprised and asked

“Fur-eel man?”

She told me...

She: I like brave and courageous men!

Me: You gained a lot of weight.

God and the animals

God is handing out characteristics to all of the animals, and he's getting close to the end of the list. All the animals have picked except the lions, the beavers, and the pigs. God looks up from the list and says "Who wants courage?" One of the pigs says to another, "Ooh, we should get that!" the o...

The guardsman, the commissar, and the orks.

Preface: In case you are not familiar with the Warhammer universe, if enough orks believe something, reality will warp to make it so. And no... I am not the author of the joke... Do get over it please.



Once upon a time, there was a fierce battle raging in the jungle between the Imperi...

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.