A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that...
Back in the days when Los Alamos was a small company town, a noted theoretical physicist was called as a witness for the prosecution. Rising to take the stand, the great man smiled and nodded affably in the direction of the jury box.
This infuriated the defence counsel. “Your Honor, I don’t ...
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome"...
since I worked on my problem with exaggerated arrogance, I'm a much better person.
better than you all together!
[Long] A body builder was showing off in the mirror at his gym.
Able to lift twice the weight of anyone else around, he routinely boasted about how he was the greatest and everyone else was beneath him while drinking his huge container of protein shake.
One day, after seeing a new extremely attractive woman at the gym, he decided to show off some more by...
As a middleaged Argentine native I have come to the conclusion that our big ego and our arrogance don't let us see things the way they really are. We must admit that sometimes we make mistakes. Thus, we Argentines are imperfect.
...until you reach 50.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my arrogance.
I told her to close the door on her way back in!
A White House construction bid.
A drunk driver runs through the iron gates on Pennsylvania Ave and a White House official has been tasked with contracting the fix and getting a quote breakdown.
He calls a general contractor in Texas. "Yezzir, that'll be a $3k job. $2500 for me and $500 to my Mexican crew".
A famous restaurant critic is eating soup at a fancy restaurant.
This critic was well-known in the industry for his arrogance and rudeness, as well as his overall sloppiness. So it came as no surprise when mid-course he dropped his spoon on the floor, and angrily gestured to get a waiter's attention. When a waiter approached, the critic noticed a spoon tucked in ...
The Train Conductor
There was a man. He was a train conductor by trade. One day, he saw a woman fall on the tracks in front of his train, but made no effort to stop. He was arrested at the next stop and, unable to make a good excuse for his arrogance, was sentenced to death by electric chair. He accepted his death as a...