I can't be doing with those pricks who knock on my door and tell me they're my saviour and if I don't listen I'll burn.

Damn Firemen.

What do you call an Hispanic, an Asian, and an African American who walk into a bar?

By their names you racist pricks!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

12 inch prick

So a man walks into a bar and a soon as he's through the door the most beautiful women in the bar flock to him. He walks up to the bar and says "drinks are on me" and pulls out a wad of money. As the bartender pours the drinks a little man, about a foot tall, runs down the bar, knocking over people'...

Whats the difference between an echidna and a police car?

With a police car all the pricks are on the inside

What's the difference between a cactus and some drivers

The pricks are on the outside

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

The porcupines pricks are on the outside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a friend who worked in a sex toy warehouse. He was killed when a pallet of dildos dropped from a lift and smashed him...

...hit him like a ton of pricks.

WOW, #2 on r/jokes! I'm the shit! Thanks everyone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Big Game Hunter goes to Siberia to hunt Russian Bear

When he arrives on the train station (probably the only one in Siberia) he is greeted by the village hunter/gatherer/provider who has a very mangy, tiny, old dog leashed with a massive iron chain.
\-"Right, I'll help you." says the native "Here's what we're going to need: A great big blow horn,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a King who's Queen was horny af

She couldn't last a day without sex and was quite a seductress. He had no problems with this as she was super hot and she was always by her side but one day the king had to go to a nearby village to quell an uprising for a few days. There was nothing he could do to avoid it and taking the Queen with...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny is a sponge

One night a mother and father get into a heated argument.

"You bitch!" Screams the dad.
"You're a selfish prick" the mom replies.

Their little boy Johnny pipes up with "what do those words mean mommy and daddy?" Thinking quickly the dad says "I was just calling your mother a lady, ...

I hate porcupines

They’re just a bunch of pricks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Friday you Greek prick

So a Chinese bloke and a Greek had take-away shops next door to each other in a fairly busy area, so it was imperative that they got there early and open their shops in order to be ready for the morning breakfast rush.

Every Friday morning, the Greek would ask the Chinaman what day it is.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW - What do arrogant pricks and tampons have in common?

... They are both stuck up cunts.

Series of jokes translated from Armenian

Some context: Abaran is a city in Armenia, and there's this stereotype about the "Abarantsi" (person from Abaran) who is supposed to be stupid and there's a bunch of jokes about it, kind of like blonde jokes (this is all for the sake of the joke, however, and we love and respect the people of Abaran...

I dont have a family tree.

Its more like a family cactus,
Cause they’re all pricks.

What's the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

[If you own a Tesla, please substitute "Range Rover" or whatever other brand makes you feel better.]

This was my sisters favorite joke to tell in high school. May she Rest In Peace: What’s the difference between a cactus and a teachers lounge?

The teachers lounge has all the pricks on the inside.

You know why I HATE cactuses?

They're pricks.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.