UPJOKE
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Two ships crash into each other on a densely foggy day on the ocean.

The two captains (a man and a woman) wind up in the same hospital and they fall in love. They give up their sailing careers to raise a family.

When the wife was almost ready to give birth, they decided it would be really sweet if their child chose a career that would be helpful in preventing...

Preventing childhood obesity is...

....as taking candy from a baby.

Today our leaders closed of the southern border preventing people from coming to our country for a better life a better education and much needed health care!

As a Canadian I am outraged!

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My school had a assembly about preventing orgasms.

Nobody came

Doctor says banana is good for preventing constipation. It didn't work for me

...until I found out that he meant I should eat the banana.

They just passed a new law preventing a spouse from harming individuals when they are caught cheating.

As they say, "If you can't beat them, join them."

Obstacles Preventing A Happy Ever After

Tom: "When are you and your girlfriend getting married?"

Harry: "I would have a long time ago if it wasn't for her family!!"

Tom: "Her family?"

Harry: "Yes, her husband and three children."

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.

The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?

So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him...

I hear the army of Holland has had very successful operations in the past, preventing horrible things from happening.

They’ve dutched the bullet many times.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

Airport security agents do a great job preventing people smuggling bombs on their heads...

You've got to take your hat off to them.

Proventative measures for preventing disease from biting insects

Don't bite them.

Preventing transmittable diseases.

Miss Beatrice,
the church organist,
was in her eighties
and had never married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor
came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint
sitting room.
She invited him to have a
seat while sh...

I just finished reading a book about preventing skin injuries and burns...

The author classified the book as "non-friction"

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