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Prevention Jokes

Covid prevention

Mrs Smith was in her eighties and very much admired for her sweet disposition and kindly ways to all. The carpet cleaner came by to perform the annual spring cleaning one afternoon and she welcomed him in for tea and cookies. After she excused herself to make preparations, the young carpet cleaner c...

I called a suicide prevention line.

It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.

I used to be in a band called The Prevention

We were better then The Cure, but nobody came to see us.

I called the suicide prevention hotline

They told me to hang on

The Suicide prevention hotline in my country is truly a life saver.

I waited for a long time for them to pick up, I fell asleep and woke up without sucidal thoughts.

What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?

Don't get carried away.

I was being trained as a caller in a suicide prevention hotline...

...On my first day of training, my manager said;

"Let me show you the ropes!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suicide Prevention

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.
A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said, “Look, since you’ll be dead in a few minutes, and it won’t matter to you, how about a little sex before you go?”
She screamed, “NO! Bug off you filthy old basta...

If you call the suicide prevention line and they dont answer what you do?

You hang up

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day!

Funny how its right before 9/11

I had a band I'd call them "Prevention"

At least we'd always be better than The Cure.

The only person responsible for dandruff prevention is you.

It falls on your shoulders.

This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by:

**Nike**

*"Just Do It"*

I've been googling "how to kill myself" and all that's showing up are suicide prevention sites

I'm like how is this good SEO?

"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.

"You need a bandana, not a banana!"

My boss hates that I have started saying 'just do it'

Somehow he thinks it's inappropriate for 'suicide prevention hotline'

Click here to take a free click bait prevention test!

You failed

The Testicular Cancer Prevention Society called me to ask whether I received their email, and I said no.

They said, “Maybe you should check your junk.”

I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event...

...the words "Just Do It" would be everywhere.

I read that Logic's touching performance at the Grammys tripled calls to the suicide prevention line,

Apparently Fergie's national anthem more than quintupled them

October is ADHD awareness month.

Appropriately enough it is also fire prevention month, breast cancer awareness month, the first couple of weeks are part of Hispanic heritage month and and some other things that I forgot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hear about the new book that teaches both reading and STD prevention?

It's called See Dick Run.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Blonde,Brunette,and a Redhead..

A Blonde,Brunette,and a Redhead decide to check their daughters bags,

All 3 of them found condoms in their respective daughters bags.

The Brunette was stunned and said :" We're a catholic family, It is a sin to have premarital sex "

The Redhead said "Its Good to see my girl is...

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