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Prevention Jokes

I used to be in a band called The Prevention

We were better then The Cure, but nobody came to see us.

The Suicide prevention hotline in my country is truly a life saver.

I waited for a long time for them to pick up, I fell asleep and woke up without sucidal thoughts.

Covid prevention

Mrs Smith was in her eighties and very much admired for her sweet disposition and kindly ways to all. The carpet cleaner came by to perform the annual spring cleaning one afternoon and she welcomed him in for tea and cookies. After she excused herself to make preparations, the young carpet cleaner c...

My boss hates that I have started saying 'just do it'

Somehow he thinks it's inappropriate for 'suicide prevention hotline'

If you call the suicide prevention line and they dont answer what you do?

You hang up

I once called the suicide prevention hotline in Iraq

They got all excited and asked me if I could drive a truck.

I was being trained as a caller in a suicide prevention hotline...

...On my first day of training, my manager said;

"Let me show you the ropes!"

I've been googling "how to kill myself" and all that's showing up are suicide prevention sites

I'm like how is this good SEO?

I called a suicide prevention line.

It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.

"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.

"You need a bandana, not a banana!"

What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?

Don't get carried away.

Suicide prevention line motto:

We never leave you hanging

This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by:

**Nike**

*"Just Do It"*

The only person responsible for dandruff prevention is you.

It falls on your shoulders.

I had a band I'd call them "Prevention"

At least we'd always be better than The Cure.

The Testicular Cancer Prevention Society called me to ask whether I received their email, and I said no.

They said, “Maybe you should check your junk.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suicide Prevention

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.
A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said, “Look, since you’ll be dead in a few minutes, and it won’t matter to you, how about a little sex before you go?”
She screamed, “NO! Bug off you filthy old basta...

I read that Logic's touching performance at the Grammys tripled calls to the suicide prevention line,

Apparently Fergie's national anthem more than quintupled them

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I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event...

...the words "Just Do It" would be everywhere.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hear about the new book that teaches both reading and STD prevention?

It's called See Dick Run.

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