I called the suicide prevention hotline

They told me to hang on

I've been googling "how to kill myself" and all that's showing up are suicide prevention sites

I'm like how is this good SEO?

"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.

"You need a bandana, not a banana!"

Suicide prevention line motto:

We never leave you hanging

I started a band called "Prevention"

We are better than The Cure.

I called the suicide prevention hotline in Iraq

They got all excited and asked me if I could drive a truck.

I was being trained as a caller in a suicide prevention hotline...

...On my first day of training, my manager said;

"Let me show you the ropes!"

The Testicular Cancer Prevention Society called me to ask whether I received their email, and I said no.

They said, “Maybe you should check your junk.”

I had a band I'd call them "Prevention"

At least we'd always be better than The Cure.

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day!

Funny how its right before 9/11

What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?

Don't get carried away.

What do you call a doctor who is half-human, half-horse?

The Centaur for Disease Control and Prevention

I called a suicide prevention line.

It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.

The only person responsible for dandruff prevention is you.

It falls on your shoulders.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suicide Prevention

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.
A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said, “Look, since you’ll be dead in a few minutes, and it won’t matter to you, how about a little sex before you go?”
She screamed, “NO! Bug off you filthy old basta...

This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by:

**Nike**

*"Just Do It"*

I read that Logic's touching performance at the Grammys tripled calls to the suicide prevention line,

Apparently Fergie's national anthem more than quintupled them

Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of ...

I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event...

...the words "Just Do It" would be everywhere.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hear about the new book that teaches both reading and STD prevention?

It's called See Dick Run.

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