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Keep Away Jokes

What kind of soap can also be used to keep away men?

Deter gents

What's the most effective tool a woman can use to keep away unwanted men?

Detergent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw on a Viagra bottle "Keep away from Children"

What kind of a man do they think I am?

Keep away from professional dermatologists..

They make rash decisions

The owner of a fruit stand decides to buy a cat to keep away mice. Unfortunately, the cat wasn't fixed...

The owner of a fruit stand decides to buy a cat to keep away the mice. Unfortunately, the cat was never fixed, and would hump random objects. The owner tolerates this misbehavior because the cat is just so cute. It's black with white feet, and looks like its wearing little socks.

A customer s...

[NSFW] A nurse was dating a Doctor and got pregnant...

The married doctor begged her to keep it a secret and asked her to keep away from public eye.

Nine months later,she came to the hospital for delivery.

At the same moment, a priest was admitted for having a large cyst in his prostate gland .

The doctor had an idea. He sedates the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know how to have sex?

Man walks up to a farmers house, knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, again, asked the same question. Again, not amused, she screamed get the hell away. Later, she told her husband of the ...

When I get a headache

I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

A Muslim man came to the USA many years ago.

He found love, got married and had a son.

The son eventually graduated University, found a wife, got married and moved away for job reasons.

Unfortunately, one day the old man's wife passes away, leaving him alone in his house with a huge garden.

After a lot of grief, the man ...

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