UPJOKE
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Ppl Jokes

In 1978, the Jonestown massacre happened where 909 ppl lost their lives. You never hear too many jokes about it…

because the punchline is too long.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.

The authorities put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I eat p***y like I smoke cigarettes…

All the way to the butt.

Why are Americans so stupid?

Because they shoot all the ones who go to school

EDIT: I love jokes and comedic freedom... but I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS ONE LOL

EDIT 2: Thanks for letting me share the pain of this one with you, internet. And I’m not European (where are ppl getting this lol), I am also 🇺🇸

I don't understand lactose intolerance ppl

Why can't they just tolerate it? It's not that hard.

I don't like yo mama jokes. They've been done by thousands of ppl

Just like yo mama

5 ppl in Audi Quattro

5 Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian Border.

The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them,
"It's a illegala to putta 5 People in a Quattro."

"Vot do you mean it's illegal?" Asks the German driver.

"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian Official.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do you call ppl who are late to a sex ed?

Late cummers.

What do you call the ppl who only monkey around when you go to the fitness center to workout?

Gym pansies

Why do we never meet the parents of trans ppl?

Because they are trans-parent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm holding a charity BBQ for ppl who can't get an orgasm ..

If you can't cum, let me know

Cop joke.

So I’m an ER RN and we love to joke around. Had two cops in with a patient. I deadpanned “ I heard there’s been ppl stealing tires off (local) cop cars…. The one cop says “I haven’t heard anything about this “.
So… I said “I’ve heard the police are tirelessly investigating it.”
First cop high...

Girl, am I a loan offered to ppl with impeccable credit and a long history of timely payments?

Bc I have 0 interest

Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn’t

She said she’s just not that Inuit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a child born missing an eye...

At birth the doctors decided it best to give the child a wooden eye until the family could afford to get the baby a nice glass eye.

Sadly the family could never afford it. And the boy was bullied a lot in school over it and eventually was taken out and home schooled. Everywhere he went he had...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

once upon a time there was a village where everyone was named after letters of the Alphabet.

Also everyone referred to one another as "person".

"Hello person"
"How are you person"
Greetings, fellow person!"

and so on.


Anyways one day an outsider wanders into the village and he is being introduced to everyone by the village guide.

"This, is person A. Tha...

Is it true that..

Reporter : is that true that God sent Lil Wayne to teach ppl how to rap ?

Eminem : I don't remember sending anyone.

A cannibal is teaching his son how to hunt ...

Hiding on top of a tree by a busy trail, the father and son are sizing up their potential meals. The son was always eager to jump whenever someone walks by, but always the patient father held him back for various reasons : too many ppl in a group. Too strong a target. Too risky etc.

Finally ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

This guy goes to Vegas and wins $10,000. Excited he decides to get himself a prostitute, find the most beautiful one, takes her to the room asks" how much for sex"?
"Sex"? Says the prostitute "I jerk ppl off for $5,000"
5,000 for a jerk? You must be crazy!!
So prostitute comes to the windo...

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