UPJOKE
chinaethnic grouptaiwanhan chinesehui peoplemanchuasianmanchu peopleuyghur peoplepinyinenglishqing dynastymao zedongchinesecitizen

Chinese People Jokes

Why do chinese people love playing Among Us ?

Because thats the only place they can vote

I’m so tired of jokes about chinese people

There’s like a billion of them and they’re all the same

Why can't Chinese people have white babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white

Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?

Because they would eat the bat!

Do you know Chinese people have very bad knees?

When they meet each other, they often ask: "knee how?"

How do Chinese people cross the sea?

on the censor-ship.

Why don’t Chinese people believe in Santa clause?

Because they are the ones who make the toys

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)

I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"

They must be scared of the dark or something.

Why do Chinese people love iPhones?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

Turning Red is a film that attempts to be more culturally sensitive of Chinese people...

You know, the people with the government who still can't handle seeing a black person on a movie poster.

A chinese kid asks his father: "Dad, why do they say all Chinese people look alike?"

He replies: "I am not your dad"

Where do Chinese people go at night?

Tibet.

Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts?

Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive "rincoln towncah".

Why do cannibals avoid eating Chinese people?

Because they're hungry again in 20 minutes.

You should never mess with chinese people

Because there a good chance you mess with the Wong family

I work with a Chinese guy called Kim

One night we were at the bar having a drink and I asked “Do you ever get tired of westerners saying all Chinese people look the same?”

He replied: “Kim is at the bar getting the drinks. I’m his wife.”

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They flip a quarter down the steps and it goes Ching, Chang, Chung.

What do 2 Chinese people call their black child

Sum ting wong

How do Chinese people laugh?

LMAO ZEDONG!

What's the difference between racism and the chinese people?

Racism has many faces...

Why don't Chinese people care about mass surveillance?

Because after the 1 child policy, nobody remembers what a big brother is, anyway.

Why do Chinese people scream when getting arrested?

They don't even have the right to remain silent.

Why can't Chinese people tie their shoes?

I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man and a Jewish man are in an elevator..

..As they ascend floors, the Jewish man turns to the Chinese man and blurts out "You know what.. I don't like Chinese people too much." Taken back, the Chinese man asks him why. "Because you guys were responsible for Pearl Harbor!" Shocked, the Chinese man responds "That was the Japanese.." The Jew ...

Chinese people are so smart with their floss.

They use it for their teeth and as a blindfold.

I’ve often wondered why Chinese people prefer open-coffin funerals...

But I guess seeing is bereaving.

How often do Chinese people have elections?

When they wake up every morning.

How do Chinese people name their children?

They drop a spoon on the ground and note the sound.

Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America.

Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding ck to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."

How many Chinese people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends on how many jump off the roof in the process.

Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?

There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.

Why do Chinese people suck at soccer?

Because every time they get a corner they open up a restaurant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I did some research...

and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...

Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

20 black people, 13 Jewish people, 18 Chinese people, 10 Russians and 26 white people are in a bar...

It's crowded.

A bunch of Chinese people come to a photographer for passport photos...

The photographer saw the enormous work to guide each of the 50 people and told to himself:

-Well, they all look the same, I will do just one photo and will send a copy to each one. They wouldn't notice.

So, he did it and sent a copy to each one of them. The next day, a Chinese guy com...

Why do Chinese people love NY?

Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.

What do you call a bunch of Chinese people, yelling in the other room....

I don't know how to tell my neighbor to quiet down.

Why is death rate among 20-25 year-old Chinese people rapidly increasing?

It's just youth in asia.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour...

I once told a joke...

... about Chinese people and the Corona Virus. An overly sensitive and overweight female co-worker said that just because I'm Asian, doesn't mean that the joke wasn't racist...

I asked her, "So if i tell a race joke, does it mean I'm a racist?"

She responded, "Yes, telling a joke based...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chinese pilot and a jew copilot are flying together for the first time

Since the start of the flight, there was a strange feeling between them, so the chinese guy asks:

Chinese: Do you have a problem with me?

Jew: I sure do, i will never trust you chinese people after what you did to Pearl Harbor.

C: but those were the Japanese, not the chinese....

Chinese people all have the same answer when I ask what red flags to look out for when I go to China.

They all say the national flag

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day Jewish man went for a hike

He hikes all the way up to a viewpoint overlooking his city. There he meets a Chinese man, they greet each other and after some conversation the Jewish man asks:

"where are you from?"

"From China" the chinese man responds.

"I don't like you Chinese you bombed pearl harbour!" s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Family Planning

In 1983, China launched an extensive 12 month program that was carefully designed to teach the fundamentals of birth control to the rural populace. Doctors and nurses were televised demonstrating the use of condoms and birth control pills.
The people were encouraged to faithfully practice thes...

The three things I hate the most in this world...

...are racists, Chinese people, and contradictions.

My dad told me this one so i thought i might share

In a zen monastery far inside China, a conflicted discipule has his mind shrouded by a doubt that he's sure his master, Zhi, knows the answer.

He finds him, and asks:

– "Master Zhi, why does everybody say that we, chinese people, all look alike?"

He pauses for a second, looks a...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.