What do you call a group of whales that play music?

An orca-stra

Why did Iron Man play music at my party?

Because he was RDJ

Why don't skeletons play music in church?

Because they don't have any organs!

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If Platelets could play music, what instrument would they use?

A Throm-bone!


*I’m sorry, I was in the OR and the Surgical tech said this shitty joke and it’s been stuck in my head all morning. so I just needed to share to find ANYONE who thought it was funny to validate me laughing at it while everyone else in the room stood in silence. *

what is a 4 person rock group that doesn't play music

mount rushmore

As the Titanic sank, the musicians remained on deck and continued to play music as the ship went down.

The captain had said "aBandOn Ship", so they really had no choice.

Doctor, doctor I'm really fat and when I play music I crash through the wooden support.

It's just a stage you're going through

Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

What do you call it when four moderators play musical instruments together?

[Banned]

I can't play music in piano;

I guess you could say it's not my forte.

I play music for the National Alzheimer's Awareness club

"Somebody I used to know" probably wasn't the best song to pick

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A girl named Yu was being held captive by a tribe of goblins...

The goblins were very particular about how they did things, as they enjoyed toying with their captives. They all had a bizarre sense of humor.

“Let me go!” shouted Yu, who was suspended twenty feet in the air by ropes and pulleys. The goblins just chuckled at the fact that they knew she could...

Einstein, Hawking, Heisenberg and Schrödinger formed a band.

It's called "The Inconvenient Truths."

They play music with that old Al Gore Rhythm.

The blind man walked into a strip club and said

" this is the first fish market I've been to where they play music"

I went to the doctor and he said you have the blood pressure of a 14 year old kid

I said great. He said, not so great, a 14 year old *American* child. You got four months to live.

Kids are so fat these days the first letters they learn in the alphabet are not ABC, it's KFC.

Kids are so fat these days they use cheat codes to play Pokemon Go.

Kids are so fat th...

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Apple does it again!

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The "iTit" will cost from £499 to £699, depending on cup size.. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their tits and not listening to them.

The little man in the hat. (OC)

There was the short man, about 2-3 ft tall, who had a tall pointy red hat and a big white beard. He would walk around subways and metros and find those people who sit on the ground play music for money.

This man would go up to them and start to stomp and clap a beat for them. Most of the tim...

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How could Donald Trump ever get elected in this great nation?

...said the country pissed off that the super bowl didn’t play music from spongebob.

A pianist, a dancer and an alcoholic are attending a party

The doorman asks the pianist "what are you here for?", "I'm here to play music" and the doorman directs him to the instruments on stage.

The doorman asks the dancer "what are you here for?", "I'm here to get my groove on" and the doorman directs him to the dance floor.

The doorman asks...

Drunk driver

This isn't so much a joke as it is a true story that happened to me. My buddy always got a kick out of it and it makes me laugh. Delete if not allowed.


My friends wife left him and I went to his house to drink beer and play music. We had a great time and somewhere around 3am I st...

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New Apple Product Announcement: The iBra

Apple announced a new product: a bra that can store and play music. The iBra. The product is being praised as a step toward better relations between men and women. It is intended to address the complaints of women about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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A man walks into a bar with a bag...

He places the bag on the bar and pulls out a tiny piano, tiny stool and a tiny piano player, who begins to play music on the tiny piano.

The bartender was curious, and asked the man where he got it. The man pulls out an old genie bottle and an old, dusty genie pops out from the bottle. The ma...

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Overcoming your fears.. as told by tom hanks ..

Three men found that they could no longer sleep because of their deep-seeded fears. Their lives were in the state of stasis because of their constant worries. So they set out on a pilgrimage to find a wise man who lived high in the mountains, so high up above the tree line, that no vegetation grew, ...

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