A guy asked me if I could name a better prog-rock band than RUSH.

I said Yes.

Why did the farmer start a rock band?

Because he was tired of haulin oats

What's a pirate's favourite 60's rock band?

C C Arrrrrrrr

Hey have you heard of the sommeliers that formed a rock band?

They're called *Effervescence*. Their hit singles include *"My Last Breathalyzer Test"* and *"Bring Me More Wine"*. And who could forget *"Lacrymismosa"*?

What do you get when you cross the ultimate jam band with the ultimate cheesy arena rock band?

Phish Styx

What rock band is the neatest?

OC/DC

What is Mike Tyson’s favorite rock band?

Kith

So I thought I'd start my own rock band

I wanted to call it The Rubber Band.

But I thought that was a bit of a stretch.

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?

Pink Flamenco

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A struggling rock band...

A struggling indies band from Brooklyn, The Spoonerists, was in the process of recording their debut album. The artistic sentiment of the group led them to use ambient sounds from nature in their arrangements. One of the members of the band took it upon himself to go out in to the field and make rec...

I've been having dreams about being in an alternative rock band

must be all that R.E.M. sleep I've been getting.

I've just joined a rock band that play the same songs in the same order at every gig.

We're OC/DC

Your typical rock band

In my history of Rock and Roll class, chapter 13 focused on the early rock artists post punk era. At the very beginning of the chapter the band King Crimson is briefly mentioned, they seemed to have qualities that later artist would adopt and were quite popular, with songs such as 21 century schizoi...

You know what the name of Al Gore’s new math rock band is?

Al Gore Rhythm

I started the biggest rock band in the galaxy.

We're called the Asteroid Belt.

If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.

If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.

What is President Trump's least favorite rock band?

Foreigner.

Who’s your favourite Christian rock band?

Mines psalm 41

What do you call a gun loving, Christian rock band?

Guns N' Moses

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

A new emerging rock band is having its first concert

To be sure that everything goes perfectly the group's manager decides to invite a well known concert critic: If he decided to come and the concert went well, that would've been their occasion to take off in the world of music

Incredibly the critic accepts their offering and is present in his ...

Soviet Russia used to have a leader who was also a singer in a rock band.

He's none other than John Lenin.

I’ve opened up a gym helping ageing rock bands get back into shape. It’s going okay so far...

Just working out the Kinks.

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Did you hear about the new Japanese rock band?

Of Rice and Yen

Doctor: "Sir, the results are in. I'm afraid you have a serious case of 80s Rock Bands Alzheimer's"

Patient: "Oh my god. What is the cure??!"

If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback.

I'll let myself out.

A new heavy metal Christian Rock band has started up.

They're called Nuns 'n' Moses

I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band

I have a Czech one too.
Czech one too. Czech one too.

Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music?

Mount Rushmore

What do you call a math-rock band about climate change?

The Al-Gore-Rythms!

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A rock band is touring through the Middle East.

One day they are caught having sex with teenage fans. As punishment they each have a wooden skewer jabbed into their pee holes.
They are now known as Third Eye Blind.

Progressive rock bands probably hate today.

Because it's 4/4.

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Joe, Dave, Tommy, and Rodney start a folk rock band. Joe plays cymbals, Dave is on the 6-string, Tommy has the drums, and Rodney adds his unique twang to the vocals.

Their very first rehearsal, they come up with a great idea for an original composition. It takes heavy liberties with the cymbal part. Joe is ecstatic; cymbal players rarely ever get the recognition they deserve. This could be a revolution in the music industry!

They begin tuning and setting ...

What is a great gift for a struggling rock band?

Stage presents.

Q: What do you call a rock band with heart disease?

A: The Strokes

Two members of Welsh rock band The Automatic have quit.

The remaining two now call themselves The Semi-automatic.

What's an owl's favorite rock band?

Owls personally prefer the track list of Rock Band 2. Just a solid game.

What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

Lawyers must be pretty big fans of the legendary Irish rock band U2.

Almost all of them go on about all the pro-Bono things that they do.

TIL Jim Crow Was In A Rock Band

Their first release was Black in Back.

This Christian rock band is so bad...

...I want to die right now so I can complain in person.

If a Christian rock band had a Gibson, they could be called "The Five Gospels, Les Paul."

^

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What does the fan of a shitty rock band, which canceled a gig in his city, say?

"I want my Nickel back!"

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Al Gore is in the wrong line of work

Some people's names match their careers surprisingly well. Imagine a psychic named Krystal Ball or a stylist named Barbera Cutter.

But Al Gore is a failure in this regard. He had the perfect opportunity to start a math rock band in the 80s or 90s and just chose to not. It should have been fa...

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So, once upon a time......

A horse sees a rock band perform and thinks "Hey, I could do that." The horse calls up his local music store and is like "I wanna learn guitar, just one problem, I'm a horse." The employee says "don't worry we can do that." The horse goes, learns guitar for a few months, gets really good, and is ...

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it. Patient: What's the cure?

Doctor: It's an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith. But let's try to stay focused.

One way ticket to hell

What is Jesus favorite rock band?

9 inch nails

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A Frog Walks into A Bank

Patricia (Patty) Mac worked as a loan officer for a bank. One day a frog walks into her office.

“How may I help you” Patricia asked.

The frog replied, “I would like to take out a $20,000 loan”.

“You, a frog, wants a loan”?

“Yes, please”.

Patty runs his credit ...

Rock music and Cooking

Did you know the rock band Aerosmith wrote a Chinese cookbook?


It's called Wok This Way

I’m in a band. We do covers of Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Rolling Stones.

We’re a rock band.

Life is hard in a band

Me and the guys started a rock band, we call it 1023MB. But no matter how hard we look we cant find a gig.

I went to go see Kafkaesque last night...

They’re a new Prague Rock band, you should Czech them out

The future

The world in 10 years...

MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100...

Band leader: I'm sorry did you just assume our genre?

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