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Rock Band Jokes

Why did the Chicken want to join a rock band???

He was the only one with a set of drum sticks...

What do you call a gun loving, Christian rock band?

Guns N' Moses

If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.

If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.

What’s a cookie’s favorite rock band?

OREO Speedwagon

Who is Donald Trump's least favourite rock band?

Foreigner.

What rock band is the neatest?

OC/DC

Your typical rock band

In my history of Rock and Roll class, chapter 13 focused on the early rock artists post punk era. At the very beginning of the chapter the band King Crimson is briefly mentioned, they seemed to have qualities that later artist would adopt and were quite popular, with songs such as 21 century schizoi...

What is South Korea’s most popular rock band?

Lee Kim Park

Why are the compounds in garlic like a Seattle rock band?

They're both Allicin chains.

What's a pirate's favourite 60's rock band?

C C Arrrrrrrr

Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music?

Mount Rushmore

Aside from King Crimson, did any other seminal progressive rock bands form in London in 1968?

Yes

Who’s your favourite Christian rock band?

Mines psalm 41

Doctor: "Sir, the results are in. I'm afraid you have a serious case of 80s Rock Bands Alzheimer's"

Patient: "Oh my god. What is the cure??!"

Hey have you heard of the sommeliers that formed a rock band?

They're called *Effervescence*. Their hit singles include *"My Last Breathalyzer Test"* and *"Bring Me More Wine"*. And who could forget *"Lacrymismosa"*?

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

Because he was tired of haulin' oats

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A struggling rock band...

A struggling indies band from Brooklyn, The Spoonerists, was in the process of recording their debut album. The artistic sentiment of the group led them to use ambient sounds from nature in their arrangements. One of the members of the band took it upon himself to go out in to the field and make rec...

I was working in a record store when a gentleman asked me if we had anything from the most popular prog-rock band from Canada.

I said I'd be with him in a moment. He said "OK. No rush.".

I replied "Sorry. I can't help you then."

I've been having dreams about being in an alternative rock band

must be all that R.E.M. sleep I've been getting.

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

I started the biggest rock band in the galaxy.

We're called the Asteroid Belt.

What do you get when you cross the ultimate jam band with the ultimate cheesy arena rock band?

Phish Styx

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What did the Japanese Psychologist name his progressive rock band?

Pink Freud

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A rock band is touring through the Middle East.

One day they are caught having sex with teenage fans. As punishment they each have a wooden skewer jabbed into their pee holes.
They are now known as Third Eye Blind.

I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band

I have a Czech one too.
Czech one too. Czech one too.

A new heavy metal Christian Rock band has started up.

They're called Nuns 'n' Moses

This Christian rock band is so bad...

...I want to die right now so I can complain in person.

A new emerging rock band is having its first concert

To be sure that everything goes perfectly the group's manager decides to invite a well known concert critic: If he decided to come and the concert went well, that would've been their occasion to take off in the world of music

Incredibly the critic accepts their offering and is present in his ...

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A horse...

... sees a rock band perform and thinks "Hey, I could do that." The horse calls up his local music store and is like "I wanna learn guitar, just one problem, I'm a horse." The employee says "don't worry we can do that." The horse goes, learns guitar for a few months, gets really good, and is pretty ...

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?

Pink Flamenco

You know what the name of Al Gore’s new math rock band is?

Al Gore Rhythm

I've just joined a rock band that play the same songs in the same order at every gig.

We're OC/DC

If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback.

I'll let myself out.

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Did you hear about the new Japanese rock band?

Of Rice and Yen

What do you call a math-rock band about climate change?

The Al-Gore-Rythms!

What's an owl's favorite rock band?

Owls personally prefer the track list of Rock Band 2. Just a solid game.

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A horse is sitting in his stable one day when he hears music coming from the farmhouse. He waits patiently for the farmer to go out before making his way across to the farmhouse to see what's going on. As he peers through the window he can see MTV is on the television.

Horse goes into the house and sees a rock band on the screen. He is instantly taken by the guitar and decides there and then he wants to play. He uses the telephone and calls the local music shop. He explains that he has seen the band on TV, that he is a horse and that he wants to play guitar, The m...

I went to go see Kafkaesque last night...

They’re a new Prague Rock band, you should Czech them out

Two members of Welsh rock band The Automatic have quit.

The remaining two now call themselves The Semi-automatic.

What is a great gift for a struggling rock band?

Stage presents.

Soviet Russia used to have a leader who was also a singer in a rock band.

He's none other than John Lenin.

What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.

Patient: What’s the Cure?

Doctor: It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused...

Lawyers must be pretty big fans of the legendary Irish rock band U2.

Almost all of them go on about all the pro-Bono things that they do.

I’ve opened up a gym helping ageing rock bands get back into shape. It’s going okay so far...

Just working out the Kinks.

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What does the fan of a shitty rock band, which canceled a gig in his city, say?

"I want my Nickel back!"

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Joe, Dave, Tommy, and Rodney start a folk rock band. Joe plays cymbals, Dave is on the 6-string, Tommy has the drums, and Rodney adds his unique twang to the vocals.

Their very first rehearsal, they come up with a great idea for an original composition. It takes heavy liberties with the cymbal part. Joe is ecstatic; cymbal players rarely ever get the recognition they deserve. This could be a revolution in the music industry!

They begin tuning and setting ...

If a Christian rock band had a Gibson, they could be called "The Five Gospels, Les Paul."

^

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Al Gore is in the wrong line of work

Some people's names match their careers surprisingly well. Imagine a psychic named Krystal Ball or a stylist named Barbera Cutter.

But Al Gore is a failure in this regard. He had the perfect opportunity to start a math rock band in the 80s or 90s and just chose to not. It should have been fa...

Life is hard in a band

Me and the guys started a rock band, we call it 1023MB. But no matter how hard we look we cant find a gig.

I’m in a band. We do covers of Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Rolling Stones.

We’re a rock band.

Rock music and Cooking

Did you know the rock band Aerosmith wrote a Chinese cookbook?


It's called Wok This Way

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Barnyard Blues

There’s this horse in a barn and he’s watching TV and he sees a rock band playing music so he calls up a music teacher “Hey, I wanna learn to play guitar, there’s only 1 problem I’m a horse” music teacher says “no problem I can teach anyone anything” 2 months go by and horse is shredding it on the g...

Why couldn’t the police catch Jack the Ripper?

Because they were a rock band and not detectives.

One way ticket to hell

What is Jesus favorite rock band?

9 inch nails

The future

The world in 10 years...

MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100...

Band leader: I'm sorry did you just assume our genre?

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A Frog Walks into A Bank

Patricia (Patty) Mac worked as a loan officer for a bank. One day a frog walks into her office.

“How may I help you” Patricia asked.

The frog replied, “I would like to take out a $20,000 loan”.

“You, a frog, wants a loan”?

“Yes, please”.

Patty runs his credit ...

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