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A wise old monk was planting a date tree in his garden when a young man walked by.

This confused the man, who knew date trees take 80 years to bear fruit, so he asked the monk:

"Why are you planting a date tree, when you will never live to enjoy its fruit?"

The old monk smiled amicably at the young man and answered:

"My son. Go eat a fat dick. It's my garden, ...

I was really nervous about planting my first orchard

Until I finally just grew a pear

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My 80 yr-old uncle was caught planting secret listening devices in a hotel room while wearing a clown costume.

What a silly old bugger.

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Killing 31,646 people would be the equivalent of planting 20 million trees.

Making hitler the biggest environmentalist ever!

I hate planting bombs now.

Everything is blown out of proportion.

A 15-year old boy came home with a Porsche.

His parents began to yell and scream. “Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” Demanded his parents. “We know how much a Porsche costs!”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

The parents began to yell e...

As I suspected, Someone has been planting soil in my garden

The plot thickens

MrBeast sure is good at planting seeds

Last time I saw someone spread their seed that successfully was when Ghengis Khan was around.

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I tried to brighten my neighborhood by planting dildos all over the boundary wall.

My neighbour is totally furious , but his wife is still on the fence .

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting...

To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

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Those who plant dates don't harvest dates...

Once upon a time an old monk was planting dates in a yard,a man passing by noticed him and said,"Why are you planting dates knowing that you will never get to eat the fruit?"
Listening to him,the old monk replied with a kind smile on his face,"My son,go eat a fat dick,the yard is mine and I plant...

If plants had wifi, we'd be planting them everywhere!

Too bad they only make the oxygen we need to live.

Do you want a job planting tulips?

*points at crotch*

THEN PLANT TULIPS RIGHT HERE!!

So they've started planting trees actively nowadays.

Well that's a releaf

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

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An Italian man is looking wistfully out at his fields...

It's spring, and for decades and decades now, he's always planted tomatoes, a tradition he brought over all the way from the old country to his adopted home in the US.

Unfortunately, he's getting old, and the work of turning the soil over to prepare for planting the tomatoes is beyond his bod...

As a farmer, when i first met my wife, she was not impressed when i didn't partake in planting the seeds of next years crop.

I told her: "That's not my responsibility on this farm.



I'm a grower, not a sower."

To Honor Congressman Louie Gohmert. Texas Aggie

Dude graduates from Texas A&M school of Agriculture, goes into a farm supply store and orders two hundred chicks, explaining to the owner that he wants to start a chicken farm. Two weeks later, he returns to the store and buys another two hundred chicks. The owner is curious, but doesn't s...

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