My wife was showing me a really unique houseplant she was growing. When she first planted it, it was a male, and it produced pollen.
After a while, it stopped producing pollen and started making seeds. It had outgrown its pot, so my wife wanted me to help her put it in a larger one. I said, “Sure, I can help you transplant the transplant.”
I’m really allergic to pollen
But I feel this spring will be breathtaking
What did the momma bee say to the baby bee when he didn't collect enough pollen?
Why would no one name their child Pollen?
There's a lot of stigma attached to it.
The pollen count is so high
Meth users are trying to convert their meth back to Sudafed
What is the difference between a bee from the UK and a bee from the US?
A UK bee carries pollen, the latter carries data.
Mike Tyson is playing Jeopardy and the clue is "The part of a flower's stamen where pollen is produced".
He's the first to buzz in. Alex Trebek calls on him:
Mike: "What is the answer?"
Alex: "You can't ask me, Mike. You have to give me the answer."
Mike: "I am! What is the answer?"
Alex: "You have to give *us* the answer to the clue, Mike, we can't tell...
If I run around pollenating flowers...
Am I a human beeing?
I've just read that the pollen count is exceptionally high this year.
That would explain why my 14 year old son is getting through so many boxes of tissues, poor little mite.
*Pollen accidentally enters body*
Immune system: What the hell is that?
Pollen: Oh hey. Sorry. We got a bit lost. The wind kinda bl-
Immune system: OH GOD WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!
Pollen: What?! No! We just got lo-
Immune system: OPEN THE FLOODGATES!
Pollen: The what?
Mucus membranes: Sir. All th...
The pollen is so bad this year in Phoenix...
that tweekers are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Band most likely to be blasted out of the speakers at your local beehive?
Teacher: "Does anybody have any food allergies"
Teacher: "Well, you don't eat pollen, do you?"
Carl: "No ma'am, I'm allergic"
I See Death
All around me, i see death. In the streets. In public transportation. I don't know if i should isolate myself in my room and never leave, or wear a mask that might not even work.
I see death whenever i take a breath. I feel the tingle in my throat, the tears in my eyes, the fluids running dow...
Let me know what you think of my 2nd attempt!
A young boy decided that he wanted to become a beekeeper when he grew up. When he told his parents this they decided it would be a great chance to teach him responsibility and give him a chance to earn his own spending money. So they bought him a small colony of bees and the tools he would need to t...
Three men are sentenced to die in Great Britain.
The night before the men got drunk and destroyed the Queen's garden. Knowing her garden is full of pollen, she offers them a chance at life under one condition.
The men must learn self control by sitting in the garden and not sneezing, not even once. If one of them succeeds in the time allot...
A Story of Two Bees
So once upon a time, there were two bees, and they were out collecting pollen for their hive. It was going well at first, but soon the clouds started to gather together. One bee said to Two bee, "We better hurry up and meet our quota, it looks like it's going to rain." Two bee said to One bee, "Yes,...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I met a girl who said she orgasmed every time she sneezed
I asked her what she took for that.
She said usually pollen or ragweed
Professor San Holo
Prof San Holo was busy at his lab. He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduc...