Where do Russian cows go to gather moss?

Moscow.

What’s a YouTuber’s favorite type of moss?

The lichensubscribe!

Today I found a Youtube channel about moss

They told me to lichen subscribe

A moss covered rock finds out he needs to wake up at 4AM for his new job

"Wow, that's a bit early for my lichen"

How does mosses make tea?

He brews!

Scientists discovered that death is actually caused by moss buildup in veins, which stops the flow of blood.

This is why Keith Richards is still alive.

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The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

Pippen: "Treebeard, you're covered in moss, do you like it?"

Treebeard: "Well, it kind of grows on you."

The man hobbled as he walked up to the Talking Tree on the edge of the clearing...

The man hobbled as he walked up to the Talking Tree on the edge of the clearing at the end of the path, as he had done at the close of every day for the last 73 turnings of the Earth. Never farther, for it was as far North as he ever went, and he came this far only to pour out his sorrows to the fin...

Why didn't Mick Jagger pick Randy Moss up from the airport?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss?

"I'm not lichen this!'

Moss and Algae take a liking to each other.

Algae and a Moss took a liking to each other and soon after got married. After a few years they realized their marriage was on the rocks.

What do you call a dirty cow in Russia?

MossCow

What's the Russian word for dry-aged steak?

"Moss Cow."

My son and I were exploring the forest yesterday

As we were walking among the trees he asked "Dad what's this green thing on the bottom of the tree? Is it moss?"

It was the time to do what needed to be done as a dad, "Moss likely".

Okay, I thought this up on the way to work this morning and I'm like 40% sure it's original.

What did one patch of moss say to the other when asked what he thought of the summer weather?

He said: "I'm lichen it so far!"

Now you're allowed to laugh, if you'd like.

A tale of Middle Earth

In the land of Gondor there lived one of the most renowned gardeners in all of Middle Earth.


All the various people would come to Master Kizal for healing herbs that could be found nowhere except his gardens. The Elves would come to him for rare tree saplings and advice on how to care f...

What did the southern side of the tree say to the northern side when it died?

“I’m sorry for your moss”

I made this up and I apologise. It’s awful.

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Dave gets shipwrecked and stranded on a small tropical island...

... he sets out to explore his new surroundings, and finds another survivor. It's Taylor Swift. He's a bit star-struck at first, but manages to pull it together enough to help her up off the shore.

He manages to build a hut for shelter, and starts a fire for warmth overnight, and finds edib...

Did you hear about a Russian-speaking Indian?

He worships a moss cow

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Arthur gets a call from the Doctor

D: Arthur, its Doctor Moss. We got the test results back for your wife.

A: What is it Doc? What's the problem?

D: Well, that's the thing. We've narrowed it down to 2 possibilities. Either she has Alzheimers, or AIDS.

A: Ok so what do I do?

D: Take her for a drive and drop...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the middle of a beautiful forest there is a pond filled with clear, cool water.

Flying about six inches above the pond is a fly. The fly is thinking "I'm thirsty. If I drop down to the surface of the pond I can get a drink".

Unknown to the fly a fish is quietly watching it and thinking "That fly looks thirsty. If it drops down to get a drink I can swim up and eat it. Tha...

What kind of cow do Hindus living in Russia worship?

A moss cow.

Mick Jagger was awarded for his lifetime achievement in music industry for over 55 years.

He didn't have a date to the ceremony so Kate Moss, who was a huge fan of Mick, volunteered to be with him for the night. It was decided that he'll pick her up from her hotel. On the evening of the ceremony Mick didn't pick her up and went straight to the ceremony alone.


Apparently a rol...

What do you call a Russian bovine covered in lichen?

A Moss-cow

What do you call a cow in a Russian forest?

A moss-cow.
Alternative answer: dead.

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