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Refinery Jokes

My friend recently worked at a sugar refinery factory...

until his position was dissolved.

What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform?

Send crudes.

I was going to make a joke about an oil refinery...

but I didn't want to make a crude joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Skipping First Grade

in 1970, a kindergartner was talking to his mother (the principal) and his father (a foreman at a local oil refinery) and proudly proclaimed that he was too smart for first grade and should be advanced into second grade in the next school year. The mother thought about this for a while and decided ...

This one is mine, so it's not great, but I like it....

A guy named Bob works in an oil refinery, and since he only lives about a mile from the plant, he just rides his bicycle in every day. There only inconvenience is he has to carry his bike across a catwalk that stretches over numerous vats of oil being refined.

One day, he stumbles and *gloop...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't want to be crude...

Two drops of oil are at the oil refinery. One turns to the other and says "I dont want to be crude, but its fucking hot in here"


(My friend made up this joke, it's now one of my favourites)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A limerick for Grangemouth, Falkirk, Scotland

In Grangemouth there's an oil refinery
A port, a canal and a winery
An to thrill you to bits
All the girls have 10 tits
That is if you count them in binary

Engineering Position

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a refinery company. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: ...

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