How can you tell how heavy a chilli pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!

So, I had some red hot chilli today and the bathroom wasn't fun.

I got firarrhea.

A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl of chilli.

The waitress says, "Sorry but the guy next to you ordered the last bowl."
He looks over to the guy sitting next to him and sees that he has finished his meal, but the bowl of chilli is still full.

He asks the guy, "Are you going to eat that?"
To which the guy replies, "No, help yourse...

A sandwich, steak, and chilli walk into a bar

The barman says: “we don’t serve food here”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my chilli like I like my men

Hot, brown, chunky and beefy.


Also it explodes in your mouth and makes your asshole hurt the next day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John's neighbour asked him why there were lot of screams coming from there house last night.

John said that his wife told him that she wanted to him to make her scream like never before while having sex.

So his neighbour now curious asked back how he got her to scream so much.

John shrugs and say It is quite simple I just applied some chilli pepper on the condom before the sex...

Scotsman's Chilli

A hungry bloke
walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow......

He sits at the counter and
notices a Jock with his arms folded staring
blankly at a bowl of
chilli.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the
hungry bloke
bravely asks,

"If you are...

Why did the Red Hot Chilli Peppers cross the road?

To take it on the Otherside.

The difference between cold and hot is imaginary

chill and chilli

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man Gets Biggest Shock Ever After Eating A Hot Chilli. This Is Insane 💕

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'Killer Chili'. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written gu...

My mother has been teaching me how to make my favourite meals, but there's one that I just can't seem to get right.

I'm great at lasagne, fantastic with casseroles but as soon as I get my hands on minced beef and beans..

It's chilli-con-carnage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a chilli dog and a thumb drive at a gas station...

Ya know, for shits and gigs.

I just ate a pizza covered in pepperoni and chillies.

To be honest, I looked pretty ridiculous.

Happily Married

There is a couple who have been married for 30 years. Every Friday for dinner the husband would come home from work and the wife would serve him a huge bowl of chilli. One friday, the husband comes home with a colleague so the wife serves up two bowls. When the wife gets up to go to the kitchen, the...

A guy walks into a restaurant, sits at the counter.

He starts looking thru the menu, and sees 'chili'. "Oh, I haven't had a decent bowl of chilli in a long time".
Asks the server for the chili, and she says "sorry dear, the gentleman next to you got the last bowl"


He notices the gentleman next to him with a bowl of chili, but he'...

What's Californians favourite dish?

The Chilli Con Valley.

What's the best thing to eat on a cold day?

Chilli!!!

(I know the joke is bad but I came up with it when I was 5)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes...

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes and after mourning for some time, they begin to talk about what they plan to do with their lover's ashes.

The first widow says, "John was very outdoorsman, enjoyed hiking, rock climbing and nature, so I'm going to sprea...

There was this musician in North Korea....

One day he was called upon by Kim Jong Un to compose a piece of music and have the Great North Korean Orchestra play it live to him in the Humble Auditorium.

The musician, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked and got to work composing a piece of music. One week later, on...

My 8 year old cousin asked me if I wanted to hear a joke

Amanda: "I want to tell you a joke. Okay:
A snowman wants to go on vacation.
He wants to go to Chile because he thinks it will be chilly--BUT--he actually lands in a bowl of chilli.
Then he dies."

Waiter Jokes.

Customer: Waiter there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Gee...look's like it's doin' the backstroke.

Customer: Waiter there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Don't worry sir, we don't charge for extra ingredients.

Customer: Waiter, there's a DEMON in my soup.
Waiter: Well sir, you said y...

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