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Chilli Jokes

A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl of chilli.

The waitress says, "Sorry but the guy next to you ordered the last bowl."
He looks over to the guy sitting next to him and sees that he has finished his meal, but the bowl of chilli is still full.

He asks the guy, "Are you going to eat that?"
To which the guy replies, "No, help yourse...

How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

The organisers of the International Chilli Growers Trade Show put up a fairground as entertainment —

The ChilliCon Carney

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my chilli like I like my men

Hot, brown, chunky and beefy.


Also it explodes in your mouth and makes your asshole hurt the next day.

Why did they stop inviting chilli to plans?

Chilli flakes

Scotsman's Chilli

A hungry bloke
walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow......

He sits at the counter and
notices a Jock with his arms folded staring
blankly at a bowl of
chilli.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the
hungry bloke
bravely asks,

"If you are...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a chilli dog and a thumb drive at a gas station...

Ya know, for shits and gigs.

I accidentally left my triplets at chillis.

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

A sandwich, steak, and chilli walk into a bar

The barman says: “we don’t serve food here”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

my chilli fart....

went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to Shit yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, wh...

I was thinking of inventing some chilli flavoured sun cream.

But for now I've put it on the back burner.

I had a Red Hot Chilli Peppers CD for 4 minutes and 43 seconds

After hearing this one track, I decided to give it away give it away give it away now.

I just ate a pizza covered in pepperoni and chillies.

To be honest, I looked pretty ridiculous.

The trainee competition judge arrived at the village fair

He meets his mentor at the entrance.

"Nice to meet, nice to meet, nice to meet you," stammers the mentor. "Forgive my, forgive my, forgive my speech impediment."

"Please, don't worry about it," says the trainee.

They head off to judge the villagers' chilli peppers. They come to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John's neighbour asked him why there were lot of screams coming from there house last night.

John said that his wife told him that she wanted to him to make her scream like never before while having sex.

So his neighbour now curious asked back how he got her to scream so much.

John shrugs and say It is quite simple I just applied some chilli pepper on the condom before the sex...

What's Californians favourite dish?

The Chilli Con Valley.

Happily Married

There is a couple who have been married for 30 years. Every Friday for dinner the husband would come home from work and the wife would serve him a huge bowl of chilli. One friday, the husband comes home with a colleague so the wife serves up two bowls. When the wife gets up to go to the kitchen, the...

The difference between cold and hot is imaginary

chill and chilli

A guy walks into a restaurant, sits at the counter.

He starts looking thru the menu, and sees 'chili'. "Oh, I haven't had a decent bowl of chilli in a long time".
Asks the server for the chili, and she says "sorry dear, the gentleman next to you got the last bowl"


He notices the gentleman next to him with a bowl of chili, but he'...

My 8 year old cousin asked me if I wanted to hear a joke

Amanda: "I want to tell you a joke. Okay:
A snowman wants to go on vacation.
He wants to go to Chile because he thinks it will be chilly--BUT--he actually lands in a bowl of chilli.
Then he dies."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes...

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes and after mourning for some time, they begin to talk about what they plan to do with their lover's ashes.

The first widow says, "John was very outdoorsman, enjoyed hiking, rock climbing and nature, so I'm going to sprea...

There was this musician in North Korea....

One day he was called upon by Kim Jong Un to compose a piece of music and have the Great North Korean Orchestra play it live to him in the Humble Auditorium.

The musician, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked and got to work composing a piece of music. One week later, on...

Waiter Jokes.

Customer: Waiter there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Gee...look's like it's doin' the backstroke.

Customer: Waiter there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Don't worry sir, we don't charge for extra ingredients.

Customer: Waiter, there's a DEMON in my soup.
Waiter: Well sir, you said y...

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