Parachuting Jokes

The scariest thing happened on my first parachuting lesson. The first time you jump, you get harnessed to the Instructor.

As I plummeted through the air, waiting for the instructor to open the parachute, he turned to me and asked

"So, how long have you been an Instructor for?"

When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him.

“I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go.”

“But how do you know when you are going to land?”, he was asked.

“Well, I have a very keen... read more

A man always wanted to go skydiving, but was never able to gather the courage. He goes to the local airport and inquires about what is involved in the jump.

The manager explainxs the procedure to him -- “We are expert parachute packers, and have never had a failure. We take you up in the pl... read more

Because they'd whistle on the way down.

and sees a row of parachutes selling for $200 and another row of parachutes selling for $6,000. Confused, he asks a salesman what the $200 rigs were for. The salesman says they were for parachuting. More confused, he asked the salesman what the $6,000 rigs were for. The salesman said they were fo... read more

So an airplane is going to crash. There were 4 passengers on board - but only 3 parachutes!

The 1st passenger said, 'I’m Jeff Bezos! Amazon needs me to deliver useless stuff to the world! I can’t die! .' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said,... read more