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Why don’t blind people skydive?

because it scares the shit out of their dogs.

A skydiver is unable to open their chute and sees a guy passing them in the opposite direction holding a matchstick.

Skydiver says, "do you know anything about parachutes?"

Guy replies, "do you know anything about gas cookers?"

Did you know that you don't actually need a parachute to skydive?

But you do though, if you want to skydive \*again\*.

A parachutist friend of mine was able to record a joke on his GoPro during his tragic last skydive saying that he'd 'had a great summer but was expecting an even better fall'.

He certainly hit the ground punning!

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What's the difference between golfers and skydivers?

Golfers go *whack* "Shit!"

Skydivers go "Shit!" *whack*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Skydiving (long)

Once there was a man who decided to fulfil his lifelong dream and go skydiving. So he went to the airport and signed up for a class. Upon arriving for the class, he discovered that the teacher was an elderly Indian gentleman. (East Indian, not Native American)

"Good day, good day everyone and...

3 jokes told to me by an older gentleman at the grocery store

Have you heard the one about the jump rope? That’s OK we’ll skip it.

Have you heard the one about the bed? It hasn’t been made up yet.

Do you know why blind people don’t skydive? It scares the hell out of the dog.

Backstory: I have pretty severe PTSD and things like running t...

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes \*whack\* .. "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn" .. \*whack\*

How does the blind skydiver know he’s about to land?

The dog leash slackens.

(Credit: My blind sister.)

If you skydive without a parachute

You’ll be doing it for the rest of your life

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An Irish Skydiver

Paddy was telling Mick about his first sky-dive.

When I got to the door of the plane I just couldn't jump so the 6ft 7inch black instructor unzips his fly and says: 'If you don't jump you're getting this baby right up your arse!' "

Mick asks: "Did you jump?"

Paddy replies: "A l...

An avid skydiver dies in a skydiving accident.

At the funeral a friend approaches the widow.

"It was a tragic accident" the friend says, "but at least he died doing something he loved."

"Not really" replied the widow.

"I thought he loved skydiving" replied the friend

"Oh, he loved skydiving" said the widow, "He hated...

How can a blind skydiver tell when he's about to hit the ground?

The leash goes slack.

My friend decided to skydive without a parachute

I didn't hear from him after that, but someone told me he had a once in a lifetime experience.

Why did the Greek skydiver politely refuse to jump?

So as not to be condescending.

Daredevils of Reddit, when you skydive should you pack a parachute or a water hose?

A parachute might fail. A water hose will definitely get caught on something.

If you love skydiving, don’t wear a parachute on your next jump

Then you can skydive for the rest of your life!

A skydiver opened his parachute too late. He won’t be able to make it

Not with that altitude

An American, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are about to skydive

The American grabs his parachute and before he jumps, he yells "God Bless America!"

The Englishman grabs his parachute and before he jumps, he yells "God Save the Queen!"

The Mexican is about to grab his parachute when all of a sudden the Texan pushes him off the plane. The Texan then ...

My company makes parachutes for skydivers

We offer free refund for defective products but it seems like our customers are very generous about small mistakes.

A skydiver jumps out of a plane and soon discovers his chute won't open.

As he's plummeting to his death, he sees a man rocketing up toward him from the ground.

As the two men pass each other, the skydiver shouts, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"

The man says, "No. Do you know anything about gas leaks?"

I never skydived before...

but I once zoomed in very fast on google maps.

Why did the skydiver prefer indoor skydiving?

He loved the rush of indoor fans.

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