This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't blind people skydive?

Scares the shit out of the dogs.

How does the blind skydiver know he’s about to land?

The dog leash slackens.

(Credit: My blind sister.)

You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* "Darn" And a skydiver goes "darn" *whack*

An avid skydiver dies in a skydiving accident.

At the funeral a friend approaches the widow.

"It was a tragic accident" the friend says, "but at least he died doing something he loved."

"Not really" replied the widow.

"I thought he loved skydiving" replied the friend

"Oh, he loved skydiving" said the widow, "He hated...

What’s the difference between a paintball player and a skydiver?

A paint baller goes “ *SPLAT* Dang!”

A skydiver goes “Dang! *SPLAT*”

How can a blind skydiver tell when he's about to hit the ground?

The leash goes slack.

Why did the Greek skydiver politely refuse to jump?

So as not to be condescending.

If you skydive without a parachute

You’ll be doing it for the rest of your life

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irish Skydiver

Paddy was telling Mick about his first sky-dive.

When I got to the door of the plane I just couldn't jump so the 6ft 7inch black instructor unzips his fly and says: 'If you don't jump you're getting this baby right up your arse!' "

Mick asks: "Did you jump?"

Paddy replies: "A l...

A skydiver jumps out of a plane and soon discovers his chute won't open.

As he's plummeting to his death, he sees a man rocketing up toward him from the ground.

As the two men pass each other, the skydiver shouts, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"

The man says, "No. Do you know anything about gas leaks?"

A skydiver opened his parachute too late. He won’t be able to make it

Not with that altitude

An American, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are about to skydive

The American grabs his parachute and before he jumps, he yells "God Bless America!"

The Englishman grabs his parachute and before he jumps, he yells "God Save the Queen!"

The Mexican is about to grab his parachute when all of a sudden the Texan pushes him off the plane. The Texan then ...

My company makes parachutes for skydivers

We offer free refund for defective products but it seems like our customers are very generous about small mistakes.

What do you call a haughty criminal who skydives out of a plane?

Con descending.

Why did the skydiver prefer indoor skydiving?

He loved the rush of indoor fans.

If you love skydiving, don’t wear a parachute on your next jump

Then you can skydive for the rest of your life!

My friend decided to skydive without a parachute

I didn't hear from him after that, but someone told me he had a once in a lifetime experience.

Daredevils of Reddit, when you skydive should you pack a parachute or a water hose?

A parachute might fail. A water hose will definitely get caught on something.

Farmer and his farm labourer

A farmer and his farm labourer have just scythed a meadow and are taking a break.

At the same moment they see a Skydiver struggling to open his parachute and eventually crashing into the ground close to them.

The labourer looks at the farmer and says: "Wow, that was luck. - 20 yards fu...

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