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Panda Bear Jokes

What do the ghosts of panda bears eat?

*bamboooooo*

A panda bear walks into a resturant..

And orders some food, after his meal the server comes out and asks how everything was and the panda bear pulls a gun a shoots him. The manager comes out and says "hey man what's going on?" The panda bear replies "I'm a panda bear Google it.." and leaves. The manager curiously Googled panda bear and ...

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A panda bear walks into a restaurant

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it.
After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, "Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a ...

A panda bear walks into a bar...

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The panda eats the sandwich, whips out a pistol, and shoots the waiter dead. As he is walking towards the exit, the bartender yells “HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU DIDNT PAY FOR THAT SANDWICH AND YOU JUST SHOT MY WAITER!”

The panda bear just...

Why do panda bears keep buying bamboo?

They just like the stock!

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The panda bear and the lizard were smoking pot in a tree.

At some point the lizard gets thirsty and heads to the river for a drink. Once the lizard gets there he meets the crocodile.

" what's the matter with you ? " asks the crocodile

" I've been smoking pot with the panda bear ,_hi hi_ "

"How dare he giving you drugs ?
that bas...

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A panda bear walks into a bar...

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich.
The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop.

The panda bear asks, “What do you want?”
The bartender replies...

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A Panda Bear wins a free trip to NYC....

This Giant Panda boards his flight from China and after a long flight he arrives in New York. He decides to do some tourist stuff and go sightseeing. As he is walking down the crowded and busy streets of NYC, so many people are taking photos and selfies with him. The panda is feeling like a rocksta...

I stole all the panda bears' food.

They were bamboozled.

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A panda bear walks into a fancy bar...

The Panda Bear is seated at the finest table in the place and is greeted by the bar's best waitress. The Panda Bear orders the most expensive bottle of wine and steak on the menu.

As he finished his last bite of steak, the waitress asks, "How was your meal?" Without saying a word the Panda B...

This park ranger is doing his rounds in the woods

When he stumbles upon a guy sitting by a fire, his rifle leaning against a tree, roasting a bald eagle. The ranger immediately arrests the guy and drag him to his cruiser. Eventually the case goes to court, the judge is outraged and asks if he has anything to say for himself before going to jail. Th...

The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today . . .

It was pandamonium!!!

A panda bear with a gun walks into a pub and orders some food.

He eats, shoots and leaves

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Panda Definition

A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a
sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating,
the waiter comes over to bring him the check.
When the waiter arrives at the table, he just
starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the
Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gu...

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panda

So this panda is tired of hanging around the zoo and decides one night, when his cage is accidently left open, that he's going to do what people do.

Being after dark, he's heads to the bar for some good 'ol fashion binge drinkin'

So this panda bear is sitting at the bar drinking some b...

I’m tired of people saying bears are like humans and that’s why you should care about the polar icecaps melting.

If bears were like humans they would be fine. The polar bears would steal land from the grizzly bears, have all the panda bears build them railroads. Send all the koala bears to Australia, all the gummy bears to San Francisco they’ll be fine. They’re start a country called Bearica and have a half bl...

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A woman's birthday was in just a few days...

Her husband asked her if she could have anything she wanted on her birthday, no matter how impossible, what would it be?

The wife told him "It's kind of silly, but I'd really like to be six again."

That gave the husband a great idea for a big surprise. On the morning of her birthday, h...

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Panda Dinner Etiquette

A Panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders a meal and eats it.

After politely paying for his meal, he pulls out a gun and shoots it in the air. He immediately walks out the door.

"Why did you do that?" hollered the confused waitress.

Looking back over his shoulder the panda...

People tend to give teddy bears as gifts for Valentine's Day.

The standard teddy or panda bears seem popular this year. I've got my girlfriend a koala bear because she loves them.

Plus, I don't know a better way to tell her that I've got chlymidia.

A baby polar bear went out to play one day...

...but an hour later he was back inside. He asked his mom, "Mom, am I a brown bear?" His mom replies, "No, your father's a polar bear, I'm a polar bear, you're a polar bear. Now go back outside and play."

...a half hour later, the baby polar bear comes back in. "Dad... am I a grizzly bear...

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear were sitting in the snow

The son polar bear turned to his father and asked, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?""Of course, son, you're 100% polar bear."A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father again and says, "Dad, tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I 100% polar bear? No brown bear or panda bear or grizzly ...

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you.

Well not a grizzly bear because
they have claws, and not a panda bear
because they know Kung Fu... But a
care bear, I'd definitely fight a care
bear for you.

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A polar bear cub comes home from school one day and says to his mother...

“Mom, are you sure I'm a purebred polar bear? I'm not part grizzly bear or anything?"

She says, "Of course you're 100% polar bear. I'm a polar bear, your dad's a polar bear, you're a polar bear."

The next day after school, he asks his father. "Dad, am I a purebred polar bear? Are you s...

What's black & white, black & white and black & white?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.

Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns.

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr...

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