What do you call bamboo clusters that follow you?

Stalkers.

Bamboo

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After the meal the waiter comes to the table to give the panda the check. Without a word the panda draws a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He then gets up nonchalantly and heads for the door. Seeing what just transpired the manager confronts the pan...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you get when you cross shaggy and a stick of bamboo?

Mr.bamboostick

Did you hear about the guy who had his bamboo plant stolen?

He was bamboozled

Two communists are in a nudist club, reclining in the nude in bamboo chairs, when one turns to the other and asks "Have you read Marx?"

The reply he gets: "Yeah; wouldn't have happened if these were couches!"

Why did the male koala invite the female koala over to his bamboo.

He wanted to have a treesome.

(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago!

Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong.

What does a ghost panda eat

BamBOO

A panda walks into a restaurant

The panda sits down and orders bamboo. The waiter, completely confused tells the panda that they don’t serve bamboo. The panda gets very angry and demands that they serve him bamboo. The waiter, again, tells the panda that they don’t serve bamboo. The panda points to a decorative bamboo plant near t...

A man takes a panda skydiving.

On the day of the jump, he follows the bear out of the plane and down they plummet.

When it comes time, he reaches for his cord but can't find it. He starts panicking for his life.

The panda sees what's happening and produces two pieces of bamboo. After careful coaxing, it gets the man...

A panda walks into a steakhouse...

*A panda walks into a steakhouse.*

Panda: Can I get some bamboo?

Server: Sorry, we only have steak here.

Panda: I'll have some steak then.

*The panda eats the steak.*

Server: So how was the food?

Panda: It was one of the most delicious meals I've ever had!...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[LONG] A plane crash in the jungle.

Three men on safari are flying in a plane over the Congo when the plane crashes. They survive, but they're instantly captured by a tribe of cannibal savages.

The savages imprison the men in bamboo cages and inform the men that they are about to be eaten alive. But before that happens the tri...

A Christian man ends up on a deserted island...

He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said,”T...

An old Tahitian legend...

As the legend goes, when the Tahitians first found their island, after they had settled in, they decided to build a grand central hall for their new settlement. Unlike contemporary Europeans, though, they built their dwellings not out of timber or stone but out of the materials they had at hand: ree...

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...

...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-pa...

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What did the ghost in the Japanese Forest say to surprise those walking through it?

Bamboo.

What happened to the dude tricked by a panda?

He was bamboo-zled!

How do you confuse a panda?

You bamboo-zle it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A group of scientists are performing research on building civilizations...

they decide to put three people on an island. Not wanting to ignore cultures, they choose an American, a European, and a Japanese man. The three men are told they will be left on the island for three months and after which their survival and civilization building skills will be evaluated.
The Am...

Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns.

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr...

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Death or Kutomba? [possibly NSFW]

Three men go hunting in jungles of central Africa. Unfortunately, they get caught by the local tribes.


Tribal Chief to the first man," Do you want death or Kutomba?"
The man thinks, anything is better than death.

He replies,"Kutomba."

Immediately he is grabbed by other ...

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three guys are on a deserted island...

Just recently shipwrecked. As they each regain consciousness they realize they are surrounded by cannibals. The cannibals put each man into a bamboo cage and hold them there over night. The next morning the natives hand each man a palm leaf sack and explain to them that they are to gather a single f...

3 Bears walk into a bar

I made up this joke in the shower the other day and have been trying to decide if it is a Great Bad joke or an Awful real joke. I hope you have an opinion on it.

A Black Bear, a Grizzly Bear, and a Panda walk into a bar.

The Black bear walks up to the bartender and says, "Excuse me si...

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Bit On The Butt By A Rattlesnake

Two friends are walking through the jungle and one gets bit on the butt by a rattlesnake. He looks at his friend and says "Run back to the village and get the doctor! I got bit on the butt by a rattlesnake!" The friend runs back to the village and finds the local doctor. He tells the doctor "You mus...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Saw The Dark Knight Rises tonight. Thought back to this joke during a scene (NSFW)

Three missionaries get caught by cannibals, and the cannibals throw them in a bamboo jail.
The chief pulls one of them out of the bamboo jail and says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga."

The missionary thinks to himself, "I don't want to die...", so he says, "I'll take bunga bun...