Bamboo

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After the meal the waiter comes to the table to give the panda the check. Without a word the panda draws a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He then gets up nonchalantly and heads for the door. Seeing what just transpired the manager confronts the pan...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross shaggy and a stick of bamboo?

Mr.bamboostick

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Men are in a plane

But unfortunately the engine stalled and they crashed on an uncharted island. They survive, but immediately are captured by natives. As they sit in their bamboo cage, the chief walks up to them and gives them a deal: join them or die.

The first guy feels he has something to live for, so the c...

Did you hear about the guy who had his bamboo plant stolen?

He was bamboozled

Why are pandas endangered?

Because bamboo shoots.

What do you call bamboo clusters that follow you?

Stalkers.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Bam

Bam, who?

No. It's pronounced bamboo.

Why did the male koala invite the female koala over to his bamboo.

He wanted to have a treesome.

Not stupid joke at all involves no puns.........

There was a bamboo stalk and a corn stalk who lived in the same neighborhood. The corn didn't really know the bamboo but the bamboo liked to watch the corn and sometimes follow him. The bamboo sometimes said "Sup my HUSKY bro". One day the corn turns around and yells at the bamboo, "STOP STALKING M...

Two communists are in a nudist club, reclining in the nude in bamboo chairs, when one turns to the other and asks "Have you read Marx?"

The reply he gets: "Yeah; wouldn't have happened if these were couches!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Panda Bear wins a free trip to NYC....

This Giant Panda boards his flight from China and after a long flight he arrives in New York. He decides to do some tourist stuff and go sightseeing. As he is walking down the crowded and busy streets of NYC, so many people are taking photos and selfies with him. The panda is feeling like a rocksta...

What does a ghost panda eat

BamBOO

Just had Little Richard round to trim the garden

He lopped all the rhubarb, he lopped bamboo

(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago!

Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong.

A Christian man ends up on a deserted island...

He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said,”T...

A panda walks into a steakhouse...

*A panda walks into a steakhouse.*

Panda: Can I get some bamboo?

Server: Sorry, we only have steak here.

Panda: I'll have some steak then.

*The panda eats the steak.*

Server: So how was the food?

Panda: It was one of the most delicious meals I've ever had!...

An old Tahitian legend...

As the legend goes, when the Tahitians first found their island, after they had settled in, they decided to build a grand central hall for their new settlement. Unlike contemporary Europeans, though, they built their dwellings not out of timber or stone but out of the materials they had at hand: ree...

How do you confuse a panda?

You bamboo-zle it.

A panda walks into a restaurant

The panda sits down and orders bamboo. The waiter, completely confused tells the panda that they don’t serve bamboo. The panda gets very angry and demands that they serve him bamboo. The waiter, again, tells the panda that they don’t serve bamboo. The panda points to a decorative bamboo plant near t...

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...

...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-pa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of scientists are performing research on building civilizations...

they decide to put three people on an island. Not wanting to ignore cultures, they choose an American, a European, and a Japanese man. The three men are told they will be left on the island for three months and after which their survival and civilization building skills will be evaluated.
The Am...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the ghost in the Japanese Forest say to surprise those walking through it?

Bamboo.

What happened to the dude tricked by a panda?

He was bamboo-zled!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Death or Kutomba? [possibly NSFW]

Three men go hunting in jungles of central Africa. Unfortunately, they get caught by the local tribes.


Tribal Chief to the first man," Do you want death or Kutomba?"
The man thinks, anything is better than death.

He replies,"Kutomba."

Immediately he is grabbed by other ...

Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns.

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

three guys are on a deserted island...

Just recently shipwrecked. As they each regain consciousness they realize they are surrounded by cannibals. The cannibals put each man into a bamboo cage and hold them there over night. The next morning the natives hand each man a palm leaf sack and explain to them that they are to gather a single f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bit On The Butt By A Rattlesnake

Two friends are walking through the jungle and one gets bit on the butt by a rattlesnake. He looks at his friend and says "Run back to the village and get the doctor! I got bit on the butt by a rattlesnake!" The friend runs back to the village and finds the local doctor. He tells the doctor "You mus...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw The Dark Knight Rises tonight. Thought back to this joke during a scene (NSFW)

Three missionaries get caught by cannibals, and the cannibals throw them in a bamboo jail.
The chief pulls one of them out of the bamboo jail and says, "You have two choice...death or bunga bunga."

The missionary thinks to himself, "I don't want to die...", so he says, "I'll take bunga bun...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.