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Ptsd Jokes

Why is PTSD like riding a bike?

You never forget

Name for a PTSD support group

I just got kicked out of my support group for those chronically depressed with PTSD. We were trying to think up a group name, apparently 'The Suicide Squad' isn't considered appropriate.

Why does 10 have PTSD?

Because it was in the middle of 9 11.

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My underwear has PTSD

It's true. It's seem some shit

what do you call a pastry with PTSD

a shookie

Which city suffers from PTSD?

Warsaw.

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My grandfather, a Vietnam veteran,hooked up with a Viet girl a few years after the war.

He told me the story of how they met at a bar, and how he took her home that night, and how he began having PTSD flashbacks as soon as she undressed.

"Why's that?" I asked him.

"It was just like the war," he said. "I couldn't see the Vietnamese in all the bush."

\----

Be...

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Grandpa can't be stand to be near fireworks because of his PTSD from the war...

One day I asked him about what happened and he let out a sigh and sat me down.

"It was 1951 in Korea, memorial day. I was stationed North of the parallel and it felt like today could finally be the one day we could relax and take a break from the war.

"The platoon spent the whole day ...

What do you get when you spell “man” backwards?

PTSD

I'm not saying me and my partner are freaky in bed......

....But our memory foam mattress has PTSD.

Why doesnt Doomguy/slayer have PTSD?

***He*** is the traumatic event.

3 jokes told to me by an older gentleman at the grocery store

Have you heard the one about the jump rope? That’s OK we’ll skip it.

Have you heard the one about the bed? It hasn’t been made up yet.

Do you know why blind people don’t skydive? It scares the hell out of the dog.

Backstory: I have pretty severe PTSD and things like running t...

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A Great Classic is a classics for a reason.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
…
…
Because 7 ate 9!

Why does 10 suffer from PTSD?
…
…
Because the poor son of a bitch was right in the middle of 9/11.

Scientific Quacks say that water has memory...

If that is true than the water that was in my toilet must have severe PTSD.

Military

What do you call a retired bomb disposal veteran with PTSD?

Ex-pyro-mental.

How many billionaires does it take to become a superhero?

Three. Two to get shot , and the third to get severe PTSD.

Many veterans experience PTSD from the loud bangs of fireworks around holidays like 4th of July and New Years. My advice to them is to use noise-cancelling headphones, Netflix, and pharmaceutical-grade weed.

Just like the children of Kabul.

I went to a fortune teller and asked if her if there were any problems specific to the job.

Fortune teller: Yes, PTSD.

Me: That’s common across a lot of professions.

Fortune teller: No, pre traumatic stress disorder.

Police found a man dead, hanging from the rafters, in an apparent suicide.

Inside the pocket of his trousers was a note explaining the reasoning behind his suicide. The note explained that he lead a straight edge life style and that he was suffering from PTSD for three months, ever since his friends forced him to smoke weed with them.

He was unable to handle the st...

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Old enough to serve, not old enough to be served: the Army and Alcohol

There was a thread a while back where a pun thread took off; it was about the moral hypocrisy of being allowed to put your life at risk fighting in war, while simultaneously not being allowed to drink alcohol.

While I detest most pun threads, this one seemed entertaining to me for some reason...

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Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Six was never the same after the war. The metallic clang of a dumpster closing and a garbage truck in the morning would bring him back to the enemy tanks running over innocent houses and villages whilst he and his surviving mates hid cowering in the bushes waiting for the metallic monstrosities to p...

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Dog walks into a bar

The bartender asks “What can I get you?” The dog doesn’t say anything, because dogs can’t talk.

The bartender realizes that trying to have a conversation with a dog is a sign that something might be going wrong with him mentally, so he goes to see a therapist. The therapist diagnoses him wit...

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