Night Club Jokes

One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a £10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the £10 note and stuck it to his bum cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a £20 note. She called the guy back , licks the £20 note, and sticks... read more

It's been 4 hours and people are still cuming!

I approach her and ask if she will have sex with me for a million dollars. She smiles and says "sure thing handsome" I return the smile and ask if she would have sex with me for a hundred dollars. She looks offended and says "what kind of woman do you think I am?" I say "we have already establish... read more

One is a teenager's, the other is about 30 years older.

"How's your working schedule?" The younger one asks.

"Oh, you know, quiet enough," the older answers. "One time on the weekend, rarely two, sometimes in the middle of the week. Peaceful, measured, no rush. What about you?"

... read more

It's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority so:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Dutch, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Chinese, a Jap, a Pakistani, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Portugese, a Rus... read more

BARS, TAVERN, TAVERNS, LOUNGE, NIGHT CLUB, MINI BAR, PUB, BEER, GARDEN BEER, WINE, WHISKEY, COCKTAILS

Another of my old man's jokes...

A girl and her friend are sitting in a busy night club where lots of people are dancing. The friend says, 'Honey, you should find someone to dance with.' The girl says, " I don't know, I'm so self conscious about my wooden eye. Guys always stare at it and make... read more

... and immediately to a brothel. He's escorted to a room where a gorgeous lady awaits him. He asks her:

\- How are your hand jobs?

She points to the window and says:

\- Do you see that Maybach outside?

The man nods.

\- I earned it only with my hand jobs. In my fi... read more