What do you call a gunship playing rock and roll?

An AC-DC130

What do you call a cat that’s been listening to too much rock and roll?

Def Leppard.

I won a contest to name our zoo’s new Elephant. So in the spirit of Bob Seger, I named him Rock and Roll.

Because Rock and Roll never forgets.

My buddy told me that 'on my tombstone when i go, just put death by rock and roll'

which is pretty reckless

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Growing up my mom was worried I get into sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

At least she got the drugs and rock and roll part right.

People say they like rock and roll,

But I like the opposite, paper and slide is my jam

Me and my dad have been on an old music kick lately.

Two days ago, he had to go on a business trip. We decided that to stay in touch, we would text the names of old songs to each other. The one we both decided was best would win.

The first day, he texted me, “Hooked on a Feeling.”

I texted back, “Old Time Rock n Roll.”

Yesterday ...

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A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you let me drink for free tonight?"

The bartender says, "Let me see and I'll consider it."

So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out "Chopsticks", the hamster is plays Chopin, some ragtime, and even some rock...

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2 deaf guys walk into a bar

1 sits down and the other walks up to the bar. The deaf man says "I'd like 2 pints of bitter please" the bartender pours the pints and says to the man " that would be £16" the man says "£16 why £16" the bartender replies "that's 8 for the bitter and 8 for the music" the man asks "music what music. I...

Rock and Roll Joke

Kurt Cobain dies and when he opens his eyes, he's in a big practice hall. Looking around he sees Cliff Burton tuning up, Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon warming up on microphones and adjusting their guitar straps to fit, and Jerry Garcia messing with his pedal steel guitar.
Kurt ambles over to Jerry...

Your typical rock band

In my history of Rock and Roll class, chapter 13 focused on the early rock artists post punk era. At the very beginning of the chapter the band King Crimson is briefly mentioned, they seemed to have qualities that later artist would adopt and were quite popular, with songs such as 21 century schizoi...

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Bono, the lead singer of U2 is known for being self-righteous ...

... He is also an A-list rock and roll celebrity.



At a recent concert in Glasgow Scotland, he asked the audience for complete and utter silence.



Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds. Holding the audience hostage in total silen...

Why where the cave people mad about their children playing with rocks all the time.

They wouldn't stop getting stoned, staring at tablets, and playing rock and roll all day.

(OC) Once, back the days of dragons...

Once back in the days of knights and dragons there was a mountain to which people would travel from leagues around.

At the summit of this mountain was a magic cradle which would heal the illness of any child placed in it, but only if the child's parent would then roll up into a ball and tumbl...

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I was just wondering how different professions have given us words and phrases that mean sex, sexual positions or related to sex

Carpenter or other handy man - screw, bang, pound, nail, lay, grease, hose, pile, hammer, pipe

Sportsmen - score, hit, home run, game, ball, balls deep, knock it out

zookeeper or animal lover - hump, bone, beast, doggy style, monkey love, ram, raw dog

singers and other musical -...

What do you call a rubber loop that you put rocks and bread into?

A rock and roll band.

What kind of music does a boulder like?

Rock and roll.

Credit: just heard this one from my Amazon Echo

Did you hear about Dwayne Johnson and the cinnamon bun?

They say it's rock and roll.

Farmer Fred's Pig

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he asked, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well, Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the w...

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Two deaf guys walk into a bar in Dublin

One goes and gets a seat while the other orders two pints.
"That'll be 30 euro please." Says the barman.
"30 euro!" says the deaf guy. "Why is it so expensive?"
"We've got live music on tonight" says the barman.
"Oh." says the deaf guy. "What kind of music is it? Is it some rock and roll...

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I got a new car radio yesterday

It has voice recognition. You shout "soul" and it plays a soul station. You shout "rock" and it finds rock and roll for you. You shout "country" and it finds country music.
I was enjoying this new technology when some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last second. I yel...

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Al the Irish jokes I've heard - Irish this sub a happy St. Patrick's Day!:

* What do you get when you cross a 4 leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.
* What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.
* Why shouldn't you iron a 4-leaf clover? You'd be pressing your luck.
* What instrument did the diva musician play on St. Patrick's day? Brag-pipes....

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