The 64+ Best Beethoven Jokes

Beethoven: ARE YOU GUYS PUMPED?

Crowd: YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Beethoven: I can’t hear you!

Why did Beethoven kill all his chickens?

Because they kept going Bach Bach Bach.

How did Beethoven rent out his house?

He put it up Fur Elise

Many people told Beethoven that he would never be a musician because he was deaf, but

Did he listen?

what is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

Ba na na na

Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers, I'm playing Beethoven.

Van Damme: I'll be Mozart.

Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys, I'm not saying it.

What did Beethoven say to the pianist that didn’t perform well

Pathétique

What is Beethoven doing beyond the grave?

Decomposing

Why couldn't they find Beethoven's Teacher?

Because he was Haydn.

What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?

Banananaaa… banananaaa

Have you listened to Beethoven's song about bad decisions?

It's so not a good idea

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

Death has come to collect Beethoven's soul and asked him if he would rather go to heaven or to hell. Beethoven replied:

*What?*

Beethoven was exhumed after strange sounds were heard coming from his grave.

They opened the coffin and saw him furiously erasing his works.

He was decomposing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**

And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

What did Beethoven do after he died?

He decomposed.

Did you know Beethoven was the ultimate hype man?

It's true, he'd always come out and ask the audience if they were ready to hear a sick symphony. Regardless of their reaction he's always respond with

"I can't hear you"

A man walks into a bar …

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks "If I show you something crazy, would you let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?"

The bartender thinks for a minute and then says

"It would have to be something spectacular to ...

Sylvester Stallone wants to make a movie about classical music..

He wants to play Beethoven.

Jean Claud Van Damme says “I’ll be Mozart”

Arnold Schwarzenegger “c’mon guys. Don’t make me say it”.

Heinrich, Beethoven's manservant, one day said to him "Master, where do you get your inspiration from?"

"Why, from you of course, Heinrich!" Beethoven replied.

"From me?" retorted Heinrich. "A genius like you, inspired by a clod like me? Oh, that's funny...

"Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*! Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*!"

Why didn’t Beethoven clap upon the ratification of new legislature ensuring protection for deaf individuals?

You don’t applaud at the end of a movement.

A tourist goes to see Beethoven's grave in Austria

And, to his shock, he sees the great musician seated next to his grave, erasing pieces of paper with his symphonies written on them.

The tour guide leans over to his visibly startled guest and says, "Don't worry, he does this all the time. He's decomposing."

At a Beethoven concert --

Beethoven: You guys ready for some music?

Crowd: YES!

Beethoven: I can't hear you...

Beethoven to his audience:

Beethoven: Make some noise for the next symphony

Audience: YEAAAAAAAAA!!!

Beethoven: I can't hear you

Why did Beethoven go to the car dealership?

For a lease

Beethoven has died...

Local townsmen state that they can here faint music from under his grave.
Intrigued, the local Mortician visits the site to investigate
And yes, faint music rises from the grave! The Mortician retrieves the Priest.
Together they listen, and slowly begin the realize the music playing is Bee...

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth.

In the piece, there’s about a 20 min long passage during which the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick drink. After slamming several beers in quick succession (...

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Was listening to Beethoven's 3rd movement today

He must have the shits

The night Beethoven was buried

The graveyard attendant was walking by his grave and he swore he could faintly hear Beethoven’s 9th symphony playing in reverse. The next night as he walked past the grave, he could hear Beethoven’s 8th symphony playing in reverse. This happens all throughout the week for this man. The graveyard att...

The Death Of Beethoven

When Ludwig von Beethoven died in Vienna, Austria in 1827 he was buried at the city's central graveyard.

After 3 days some people who walked by his grave notice there was a strange noise in the air. Something was wrong.

After 6 days more and more people were talking about that and it b...

When Beethoven died, he was buried in a churchyard.

The town drunk was passing by, when he heard some eerie music. Afraid, he called the priest to tell him what happend. The priest investigated and summoned the town magistrate. The town magistrate listened and said:
“It’s his Ninth Symphony... backwards.” Then, his Eighth Symphony, his seventh his...

Why is Beethoven great music to play on a date?

It’s romantic

I think that was Beethoven's 5th...

He better not be driving home.

(Oldie but goodie) Why did Beethoven quit fishing?

Because you can’t tune a fish but you can tuna a piano

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827."

Then he realizes that the music is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the prev...

Beethoven gets on the stage and the crowd goes wild.

“Are you ready to hear some music??”
“YEAH!!!”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!”

Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever,

of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing.

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What did a therapist say to Beethoven?

>!I am all ears.!<

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians. One of friends says "I'll play Beethoven", another says "I'll be Mozart." In the end, Arnold says

I'll be Bach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims.

At this point, you must understand two things:

1. There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.

2. There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400, right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beethoven's concert

Beethoven: "Are you ready for for my greatest piece?!"

Audience: "Yeah!"

Beethoven: "I can't hear you!"

Audience: "YEAH!"

Beethoven: "I can't hear you!"

Audience: "YE- oh fuck, that's right..."

What happened to Beethoven's body after he died?

It decomposed

Have you heard that joke about Beethoven?

No? Neither has he.

How do you wish Beethoven aMerry Christmas?

Fur-Elise Navidad!

In bed I’m like Beethoven

It’s all over in three movements.

Beethoven was deaf, but you better enjoy this joke :)

* Beethoven selling property *

Buyer: So, is it for sale or for rent?

Beethoven: For lease

Who would record for Beethoven if he was still alive today?

Def Jam.

Why did Beethoven never answer the doorbell?

They weren't invented yet.

After Beethoven died and they buried him, you could hear his symphonies from the grave in the descending order, first his symphony No. 9, then No. 8 etc.

He was just decomposing.

I heard a backwards symphony coming from Beethoven's grave

Turns out he's decomposing

What did Beethoven say when it was discovered that he was not actually deaf, and just wearing airpods?

"It smells like baroque in here."

I was at a performance of Beethoven's 7th, when suddenly the whole orchestra got up and left.

...which was disconcerting.

Beethoven's new peice

Beethoven had created a masterpeice once again and decided to show it to some kids first, he asks the children "Are you ready kids", while they reply saying "Aye aye Captain" which Beethoven replies with "i cant hear you" and the kids decide to speak up, shouting "Aye Aye Captain!" And finally Beeth...

What does a Catholic priest have in common with Beethoven's Fur Elise?

They both finish in A minor

Two Grave Robbers Found Where Beethoven Was Burried.

They dig for a while and finally get to his coffin.

They open it up, only to see him erasing all the music that was buried with him.

Terrified, one of the grave robbers screams!

The other one turns to him and says, "hey man, calm down! He's just decomposing."

Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?"

"I'll be Bach"

When Beethoven started composing music, people said he wouldn't amount to anything because he was deaf

Fortunately, he didn't listen to the critics

While visiting Beethoven's grave, this Deaf person learned from the other Hearings that there is symphony playing backward from below the grave because Beethoven is..

De-composing.

An illustrious Count, Wictor Oblodowsky, agrees to conduct Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a Baltimore gym.

He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player.

After an uneventful flight and some t...

What do you call an American Revolutionist who listens to Beethoven while making love?

Lewd Whig.

What did Beethoven say when he finished writing his 5th Symphony?

I'm done done done doooooone.

Why don't soccer moms let their kids listen to Beethoven?

Because of all the violins.

What do Beethoven and the hiphop artist Lil'Jon have in common?

What?!

In the last movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony...

...the double basses have a few big chords right at the start, then nothing for 10 minutes, then come in right at the end for the big finale. During rehearsals, the bass players started putting down their instruments, going for a quick drink, and comng back in time for the end.

On the night o...

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