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Beethoven Jokes

How did Beethoven rent out his house?

He put it up Fur Elise

Beethoven: ARE YOU GUYS PUMPED?

Crowd: YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Beethoven: I can’t hear you!

Why did Beethoven kill all his chickens?

Because they kept going Bach Bach Bach.

Many people told Beethoven that he would never be a musician because he was deaf, but

Did he listen?

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The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

Beethoven to his audience:

Beethoven: Make some noise for the next symphony

Audience: YEAAAAAAAAA!!!

Beethoven: I can't hear you

Beethoven hyping the crowd.

Beethoven: YOU WANNA HEAR A SYMPHONY?

*crowd cheers*

Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Beethoven wrote a manga

Deaf note

Why couldn't they find Beethoven's Teacher?

Because he was Haydn.

Death has come to collect Beethoven's soul and asked him if he would rather go to heaven or to hell. Beethoven replied:

*What?*

What did Beethoven do after he died?

He decomposed.

Beethoven has died...

Local townsmen state that they can here faint music from under his grave.
Intrigued, the local Mortician visits the site to investigate
And yes, faint music rises from the grave! The Mortician retrieves the Priest.
Together they listen, and slowly begin the realize the music playing is Bee...

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven’s Ninth...

In the piece, there’s about a 20 min long passage during which the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick drink. After slamming several beers in quick succession (as do...

Have you listened to Beethoven's song about bad decisions?

It's so not a good idea

At a Beethoven concert --

Beethoven: You guys ready for some music?

Crowd: YES!

Beethoven: I can't hear you...

What was Beethoven's favorite rock song?

\-

\-

*Bonn to be Wild*

Beethoven was exhumed after strange sounds were heard coming from his grave.

They opened the coffin and saw him furiously erasing his works.

He was decomposing.

What does Beethoven do in his grave?

He decomposes

Which is Beethoven"s favourite fruit?

The "BaNANANAAAAA", "Ba NA NA NAAAAA"...

What did Beethoven say to the pianist that didn’t perform well

Pathétique

A tourist goes to see Beethoven's grave in Austria

And, to his shock, he sees the great musician seated next to his grave, erasing pieces of paper with his symphonies written on them.

The tour guide leans over to his visibly startled guest and says, "Don't worry, he does this all the time. He's decomposing."

The Death Of Beethoven

When Ludwig von Beethoven died in Vienna, Austria in 1827 he was buried at the city's central graveyard.

After 3 days some people who walked by his grave notice there was a strange noise in the air. Something was wrong.

After 6 days more and more people were talking about that and it b...

The night Beethoven was buried

The graveyard attendant was walking by his grave and he swore he could faintly hear Beethoven’s 9th symphony playing in reverse. The next night as he walked past the grave, he could hear Beethoven’s 8th symphony playing in reverse. This happens all throughout the week for this man. The graveyard att...

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks "If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?"

The bartender thinks for a minute and then says "It would to be something spectacular to take that offer." The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, whom is only 1 foot tall, and beside him a little piano. The piano man starts pla...

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Was listening to Beethoven's 3rd movement today

He must have the shits

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Beethoven's concert

Beethoven: "Are you ready for for my greatest piece?!"

Audience: "Yeah!"

Beethoven: "I can't hear you!"

Audience: "YEAH!"

Beethoven: "I can't hear you!"

Audience: "YE- oh fuck, that's right..."

Why did Beethoven go to the car dealership?

For a lease

I think that was Beethoven's 5th...

He better not be driving home.

When Beethoven died, he was buried in a churchyard.

The town drunk was passing by, when he heard some eerie music. Afraid, he called the priest to tell him what happend. The priest investigated and summoned the town magistrate. The town magistrate listened and said:
“It’s his Ninth Symphony... backwards.” Then, his Eighth Symphony, his seventh his...

Heinrich, Beethoven's manservant, one day said to him "Master, where do you get your inspiration from?"

"Why, from you of course, Heinrich!" Beethoven replied.

"From me?" retorted Heinrich. "A genius like you, inspired by a clod like me? Oh, that's funny...

"Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*! Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*!"

(Oldie but goodie) Why did Beethoven quit fishing?

Because you can’t tune a fish but you can tuna a piano

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What did a therapist say to Beethoven?

>!I am all ears.!<

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar

Sylvester Stallone says, "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says, "Guys, I'm bored of doing action movies too and I've got some ideas but you may not like them."

Sylveste...

Beethoven gets on the stage and the crowd goes wild.

“Are you ready to hear some music??”
“YEAH!!!”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!”

Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever,

of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing.

Why is Beethoven great music to play on a date?

It’s romantic

Why didn’t Beethoven clap upon the ratification of new legislature ensuring protection for deaf individuals?

You don’t applaud at the end of a movement.

Beethoven's new peice

Beethoven had created a masterpeice once again and decided to show it to some kids first, he asks the children "Are you ready kids", while they reply saying "Aye aye Captain" which Beethoven replies with "i cant hear you" and the kids decide to speak up, shouting "Aye Aye Captain!" And finally Beeth...

[Long] An orchestra is playing Beethoven’s 9th

During the final prestissimo section of the last movement, the bass players have a very awkward page turn while also playing a very technical passage. To deal with this, they agree within their section to tie the pages of the conductor’s music together at that spot to buy time for them while he unti...

While visiting Beethoven's grave, this Deaf person learned from the other Hearings that there is symphony playing backward from below the grave because Beethoven is..

De-composing.

[Long] Beethoven's Grave

When Beethoven died long ago, he was buried in a graveyard.

On a dark and cold night a few days after he died, the town drunk was walking through the yard. While walking, the drunk heard a strange noise coming from Beethoven's grave, and went to inspect. Upon arrival, the drunk heard music a...

Why did Beethoven never answer the doorbell?

They weren't invented yet.

What happened to Beethoven's body after he died?

It decomposed

In bed I’m like Beethoven

It’s all over in three movements.

How do you wish Beethoven aMerry Christmas?

Fur-Elise Navidad!

Beethoven was deaf, but you better enjoy this joke :)

* Beethoven selling property *

Buyer: So, is it for sale or for rent?

Beethoven: For lease

Fun fact about composers!

Did you know the composers of classical music were the rockstars of their time?

It's true!

A lot of the showmanship we associate with popular musicians actually originated among classical composers.

For example, later in his career, Beethoven was known to start all his orchestr...

I heard a backwards symphony coming from Beethoven's grave

Turns out he's decomposing

In the last movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony...

...the double basses have a few big chords right at the start, then nothing for 10 minutes, then come in right at the end for the big finale. During rehearsals, the bass players started putting down their instruments, going for a quick drink, and comng back in time for the end.

On the night o...

What would Beethoven be doing if he were alive today?

Decomposing

Two Grave Robbers Found Where Beethoven Was Burried.

They dig for a while and finally get to his coffin.

They open it up, only to see him erasing all the music that was buried with him.

Terrified, one of the grave robbers screams!

The other one turns to him and says, "hey man, calm down! He's just decomposing."

The day after Beethoven's funeral

The day after Beethoven's funeral, at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could h...

What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished?

Decomposing

Eight year old tells funniest joke

My eight year old cousin told me this one:

Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?

Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach

Why don't soccer moms let their kids listen to Beethoven?

Because of all the violins.

What did Beethoven say when he finished writing his 5th Symphony?

I'm done done done doooooone.

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