Contrary to popular myth, Caesar wasn't killed by the Roman senate. He died of a heart attack when he heard of Barcelona's spectacular loss. His last words were however accurate....

8-2, brutus?

You can actually file a lawsuit against the federal government in the United States. It's a myth that you can't. All you have to do is simply take some specific medication.

And that medication, my friends, is Sudafed®

Gravity is a myth.

The earth sucks.

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My wife said...

“Did you know butterflies only live for one day?"

I said, "That's a myth."

She said, "No, it's definitely a butterfly!"

The idea that we can convert a dog's age to human years by multiplying by 7 is a total myth.

You multiply by 9/5 and add 32. It’s the muttric conversion.

Grant Imahara walks up to the pearly gates...

As he looks around, confused, a booming voice speaks to him across the clouds...

“...Myth confirmed.”

What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?

A swing and a myth.

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I hate the myth that men will fuck anything with a heartbeat...

I've fucked inanimate objects too!

It just occurred to me why the Grim Reaper is so popular in myths and cultures throughout the world

People are always dying to meet him

Its a myth that people dont kiss in elementary school, i kissed loads of girls

I miss being a teacher

Based on an urban myth: Two guys were smoking weed one late evening

Not being in the best state for great decisions, they figured they wanted to go for a ride to pick up some food. However, as they came to the first roundabout one guy said, let's go for an extra round. Sure, said the other and off they went.

"You know what would be even better?"

"Wh...

There's a Greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity.

The river sticks

TIL cow tipping is an urban myth.

Apparently, the farmers just pay them a competitive wage.

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Who was the sexiest woman in Greek myth?

Actually, it was Medusa. One look from her made guys rock hard.

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I finally figured out where that "programmers live in basements" myth comes from!

It's because they prefer to work in a non-Windows environment.

A Christmas Myth

After learning about different ways to celebrate Christmas, the children were eager to learn more about the subject. Knowing that one of the teachers at their school was from the UK and maybe had an angel on top of the tree instead of the classic star, they went to ask him about it.

It's a lo...

Just finished a great book about a transvestite who has a speech impediment.

The title is "Man or Myth."

It is a myth that you cannot breathe underwater

You can breathe out, just not in.

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A man on an airplane

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he bl...

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What did Samuel L Jackson Say When He Was Asked To Name the First Greek Myth He Was Taught in School.

Oedipus Was the First Motherfucker!

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According to some old myths, Birth marks show where you got killed in your last life

I didn't know getting stabbed in the ass was a way to kill someone

Flat Earth is not a myth

But rather a rounding error

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Women who like facials must be a myth.

At least, I've never cum across one.

What is a Pirate's Favorite Greek Myth?

Jason and the Arrrghonauts

Have y'all heard of the cow that produces milk that taste like that stuff of myths?

It's legen-dairy

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I'll like to brag that after 12 Years of marriage, I still have sex with my wife almost every day!

Almost on Monday

Almost on Tuesday

Almost on Wednesday

Almost on Thursday

Almost on Friday

Almost on Saturday

Almost on Sunday.!

Edit: Wow, thank you everyone! First time my post made to Front page; so.. umm.. front page = I get boobie pictures in m...

I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, "Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth."

He said, "Well you were mythtaken."

TIL It's a myth that people's joints hurt because it's cold and damp

Turns out it's just a mist ache.

PMS is a myth

It's really just an ovary action.

What's the definition of a mere myth?

A pirate ship thailing clothe to an itheberg

Putin and Obama meet in Moscow

They're debating the merits of their respective societies. They argue about moral values and which country is doing better.

Obama: I've heard that all Russian are alcoholics.

Putin: That's a Russophobic myth. I bet there's not a single drunk out in Moscow tonight.

Obama: I don'...

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow tipping?" "I'm sorry, gentlemen. Cow tipping is simply an urban myth," the bartender explains. "The farmers actually pay them a competitive wage."

Legend tells of an incredible hero...

Legend tells of an incredible hero: Carto-Man. Half of his body is a regular human, but the other half is made up of a key from a map.


The man, the myth, the legend

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A couple visits Jamaica for the first time...

A couple visits Jamaica for the first time and decided it would be best to see the country with a tour guide who can show them the best parts.

On the tour, the husband and guide take a quick stop at a local rest station so they can go to the bathroom and relieve themselves. With curiosity get...

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You have one wish . . .

A woman found a magic bottle, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, “Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So, what will it be?”

The woman did not hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle E...

Gravity is just a myth.

We all know it's the white man keeping us down.

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A blonde, brunette, and red head were on top of a magic mountain

A blonde, brunette, and red head were on top of a magic mountain. The myth of the mountain was that if you jumped off of it and yelled out what you wanted to be, you would instantly turn into it.

The brunette jumped off and said she wanted to be an Eagle, so she turned into an Eagle and flew ...

Which mythical creature casts no reflection?

All of them, technically.

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The Bro Quiz (NSFW)

The Bro Quiz

In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a lovemaking
b screwing
c the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town


You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a your views about what you e...

People claim that in the English language, y can be a vowel

but I think that's just a myth

I apologize for this ahead of time

So there was this man who lived in Canada. He was bored of his work life, and it was Christmas time, so he decided to go on vacation, and he settled on Mexico. He went to Mexico, and after arriving to his hotel, he decided to ask the man behind the desk about tourist locations. The man told him abou...

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My girlfriend said that a sneeze is 1/10th of an orgasm.

"That's a bullshit myth," I said.

"Prove it," she replied.

After sneezing ten times I said, "See? I'm still awake and you're not pregnant."

Just give them another chance!

So... The news reporters decided to end this "Blondes are stupid" myth once and for all. They go to the full football stadium and find three random Blondes.

REPORTER: "We want to end this myth once and for all, so we will ask you a simple question, if you answer correctly, Blondes will be fo...

Have you heard about the calculus professor who tried some bad amphetamines and ended up believing he was a moth?

It’s the old meth math moth myth.

Manatees

A Spanish sailor and a French sailor are talking at a port bar together. The French sailor tells the Spanish sailor that he's been hearing stories of mermaids from the English sailors. The Spanish sailor says that mermaids are just a myth and the English just mistook manatees for mermaids. The Frenc...

The rumor never died, even as Gabenism was revived...

It is the year 3015. A boy is browsing the history books when he finds one that (poorly) depicts the 21st century. In it, there is a section called "Valve and early religions."

The boy becomes interested and revives Gabenism.

His parents took an interest in their boy's new found passio...

Having a sit down with my advisor

I'm due to graduate from college with Classics and Architecture majors soon, so I had a meeting with my professor.

We sat down and started to look at my grades. All A's and B's down the list until we hit the class I'd taken 3 times.

"What happened with Greek Myths? Was it the profess...

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