My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it.

I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.

How many egotistical people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, they hold the light bulb, and the universe revolves around them.

My wife complained that my life revolves around Facebook and it has destroyed the way we communicate.

So I've blocked her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was once a part of a nine-member sex cult who aimed to please this one main red-hot guy. I was then kicked out from it but my life still revolves around the main guy and I remain friends with the others.

Guess my relationship with them is Plutonic.

Intellectuals know that the Earth revolves around the Sun...

Canadians know that the universe revolves around Toronto

I like the way the earth revolves!

It really makes my day!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson decide to go camping.

They pack their camping gear into the car and drive into the countryside. After a long drive and a light dinner they pitch their tent, climb inside, and are soon fast asleep in their sleeping bags.

In the middle of the night Sherlock shakes Watson awake. He points to the full moon and says, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Political joke

A boy asks his father:

What is politics?

Father answers:

It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business . Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law...

Plumbing

I like the Mario games and all, but... I have a hard time seeing Mario as a plumber when his entire life revolves around clogging some pipes

Geocentrists and Flat-Earthers are so selfish.

They think the whole universe revolves around them.

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