Was talking to my friend last week, asked how his wife was doing and he said to me he doesn't know she went to the shop for a bottle of milk 2 week ago and hasn't come back, I asked him how he was coping

He said I've been using the powdered milk its bloody horrible

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Therapist: How have you been coping with everything lately?

Me: With sarcasm mostly.

Therapist: Has that been working?

Me: Yeah it's been super great.

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My unhealthy coping mechanism is sex

That's why I'm still depressed

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My therapist says I'm a delusional narcissist who uses dismissive indignation as a coping mechanism

That was really hard to hear from a stupid jealous piece of shit.

My friends wife said she was "just going out to pick up some milk" a few days ago.

And she never came back. I was a bit concerned about him so I thought I'd send him a text to see how he's coping. He replied "yeah, I'm fine. Have just been using the powdered stuff"

Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy.

But, I've always been more of a people person.

My girlfriend wanted to look slimmer for a party so she invested in a corset.

She’s had a very hard year coping with things and was determined to go looking like a million bucks. She told me what it meant to her to be with me and how this was the only thing she had been looking forward to for months. I helped her into her corset and between us we managed to lace her up.
<...

I like my food like I like my coping mechanisms.

Extremely unhealthy.

A frog goes into a bank

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mic...

A woman goes into labour and her husband takes her to the hospital.

As she is laying in the hospital bed, the nurse tells her of a new type of technology that allows a percentage of her pain to be passed to the father of the child. They both agree, so start on 10% to be transferred.

However, the husband says he can feel nothing, and is willing for it to be tu...

Reflections on the Jonestown massacre of 1978

As a society, we sometimes tell jokes about some of the most horrific events--mass murders, disasters, and so on. Often the jokes start within a day or two of the catastrophe, even before the dead can be counted. Perhaps we do it as a coping or healing mechanism, or perhaps it's our only extant type...

What tool best deals with traumatic events?

A coping saw.

Whenever I do crown molding I can never get the corners to match up quite right

I guess I have coping issues.

Yo mama so fat

I'm really concerned about her health, is she doing ok? I think she uses food as a coping mechanism. Let her know I'm here to talk if she needs support

Husband notices that after every fight...

...wife goes to the bathroom and locks for 10mins. When she is back everything is back to normal. This piques his curiosity.

So, he decides to ask her about it.
Husband: Honey, I've notice that everytime we fight, you go and lock the bathroom. What about it? Tell me about your coping mec...

Whenever I get stressed out I cut shapes out of wood with my jigsaw...

A jigsaw is a great coping mechanism.

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Nsfw long what's wrong with your dick?

A guy goes into a public restroom and sees a man gently weeping in front of a urinal. He asks him what's wrong, and realises the man has no arms.
"Well... I recently lost my arms in an accident and I'm having a hard time coping with it. It's my first day out of the hospital and I can't figure out...

Fish out of water.

I was on the phone to my Grandma the other day and we were discussing how my Grandpa was getting on in the nursing home.

I said, "How is he coping, getting on all right?".

She replied, "Oh, no, he's like a fish out of water..."

So I said, "Aww is he finding it quite hard to adj...

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The Milk Cow

There once was a family that owned a milk cow. This milk cow was quite amazing, because with all of the extra milk the cow produced the family was able to sell all of the excess and live quite well.

One day, the father of the family went outside to milk the cow. But something was wrong, it wa...

Glad marijuana is being legalized.

It sure helps coping with the election results.

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