Amnesia Jokes

Or was it dyslexia?

All I know is that I can't remember it and I sure as hell can't spell it.

It’s okay. My motto is forget about it and move on.

Who does she think she is?!

for as long as I can't remember

There is no cure...

It’s the only reason I find this sub consistently funny

I think I've forgotten this before

"What did we want?"

oh wait I forgot

No, really. Do you know?

Man: Yeah, and I think that girl over there likes me
Doc: Yeah, she's your wife

Huh?

He goes up to a very attractive woman and says’ “do I come here often?”

Damn I had something for this....

And asks, "doctor what should I do?"

Doctor replies, "pay me first."

I’m trying to remember what happened, but I can’t put my finger on it

Finding tons of original jokes on reddit.

I don't know how it got like this.

I used to have terrible amnesia.

I told him that he was always rude to people that were just trying to help, to which he responded:


"I don't remember asking."

She has mammary problems.

An immigrant doctor decided to start his own clinic one day.
He put a sign in front of it that says if he can't cure your illness, he'll give you 100 dollars. If he can, you have to pay 20 dollars.
A young rich man passes by, sees the sign, and thinks it's a good opportunity to earn 100 bu... read more

It sucks

A doctor, knowing he can stump the engineer and wanting to get some cash, goes straight to the engineer. "Hey," he says. "I lost my sense of taste. I can't taste any food anymore."

The engineer takes a small bottle from his drawer, told the doctor to take his tongue out, and put 15 drops of t... read more

She replies: "Beats me".

What a liar I think I'd remember something so huge about my life.

The barista asked what he wants, and he replies "Affogato".

Sometimes I experience both amnesia and dejà vu at the same time, and I'm like:"Yep, I've forgotten this before ".

Affogato!

After all, mastectomy would result in mammary loss.

Unfortunately there is no cure.

.. because I was trying to remember the difference between insomnia and amnesia.

I think it’s called “amnesia” but I can’t remember

If you are obsessive-compulsive,
press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent,
please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities,
press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace ... read more

Waiter welcomes him and says:
"Hello sir, all our tables are full so you might have to wait for about 30 minutes".
"Do you know who I am?" the man replies.
"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, we'll get you a table anyways." says the waiter.

After the man has eaten his meal, waiter brings him... read more

I dont know what i was thinking .....



~~*ba dum tissss*~~

The interviewer asks Oxygen what they are. Oxygen says "I'm a gas."


The interviewer asks Copper what they are. Copper says "I'm a solid."


The interviewer asks Bromine what they are. Bromine says "I'm a liquid."


The interviewer asks Roentgenium what they are. Roentgen... read more

by amnesia.

My memory foam pillow has amnesia.

“When was the last time you had amnesia?”

He says back “I don’t remember”

Amnesia

Bob: Knock Knock.
Joe: Who's there.
Bob: Amnesia.
Joe: Amnesia who.
Bob: Wait, what were we talking about.

They both got amnesia from the crash.

"Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused.

"Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..."

"I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!"

"And what am I?" asked the skunk.

"Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smell... read more

"Hello doc, I'm not feeling well, my head hurts, my stomach is aching,

I have loss weight, I also have difficulty in breathing." said the man.



"Hmm, When did you first notice these symptoms?" ask the doctor.



"I don't remember, Doc." the man answers dreadfully.... read more

He said I had amnesia or ummmmmmmm nvm I forgot

A man jumps on a bed expecting it to be soft and fluffy...

\*Wham!\*
Instead he experienced a very firm landing.
\*Owww!\*
I think this memory foam has amnesia!

Doctor: sir I have two bad diagnoses for you, one is that you have worst diarrhoea I have ever seen.
Patient: what's the other one then?
Doctor: you also have very bad amnesia, you can't remember anything from last 15 seconds.
Patient: well at least I don't have diarrhoea.

There is a doctor in town who can cure almost any sickness. His confidence for his ability made him put up a sign that says "If I heal you, you pay $100. If I can't, I'll give you $200". John saw this and decided to take advantage of it. He came to the clinic the next day claiming to have lost the s... read more

The man responds to this news by asking "Do you know who I am?"

Not recognizing him, the host immediately gives him the next available table in order to make it seem like he does.

"Does this table meet your expectations?" Says the host.

The man again replies "Do you know who I a... read more