I've got a fantastic joke about Amnesia

I always forget it for some reason, tho

Amnesia is no joke

Based on the content in this sub alone, at least 19 million people have it.

Amnesia Austria

I wanted to tell my children about my visit to Austria’s capital city but I couldn’t remember it’s name.

I guess it meant nothing to me.

"What do we want!?" "A cure for amnesia!"...

"What did we want?"

I wanted to tell you all an amnesia joke

Huh?

I've been suffering from amnesia...

or was it dyslexia?


All I know is that I can't remember it and I sure as hell can't spell it.

The doctor told me I have either amnesia or insomnia

I can't remember which one and it's making me lose sleep!

I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT AMNESIA IS!

oh wait I forgot

I have amnesia

It’s the only reason I find this sub consistently funny

Ah yes, I forgot it!

Sometimes I experience both amnesia and dejà vu at the same time, and I'm like:"Yep, I've forgotten this before ".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

Doctor: Sir, I think you are suffering from amnesia

Man: Yeah, and I think that girl over there likes me
Doc: Yeah, she's your wife

A man with amnesia walks into a bar

He goes up to a very attractive woman and says’ “do I come here often?”

There's this joke I know about amnesia

I forgot it

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existance of certain 80s bands..

there is no cure

My friend with amnesia asked me why people didn't like him

I told him that he was always rude to people that were just trying to help, to which he responded:


"I don't remember asking."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the woman with amnesia who tried to masturbate?

She almost remembered how, but couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Best part of getting an amnesia

Finding tons of original jokes on reddit.

I had amnesia and can't figure out what a vacuum cleaner is supposed to do

It sucks

I think I'm addicted to amnesia-inducing drugs

I don't know how it got like this.

The farm animals got amnesia...

Cow: What noise do I make, Mr?

Me: Mooooo!

Pig: And what noise do I make?

Me: Oink Oink!

Cat: What about me?

Me: Ow.

You wanna know what's funny about amnesia?

Me too, I forgot the punchline.

A guy goes to the doctor to cure his amnesia

And asks, "doctor what should I do?"

Doctor replies, "pay me first."

I used to have terrible amnesia.

I used to have terrible amnesia.

One day, Rihanna has amnesia and can't remember anything. She's asked, "What do you think of Chris Brown?"

She replies: "Beats me".

Did you hear about the lady with breast cancer and amnesia?

She has mammary problems.

I've just been diagnosed with a rare form of amnesia where I can't remember a small amount of 80's music bands.

Unfortunately there is no cure.

Amnesia

Damn I had something for this....

What is the Italian man's, with short term amnesia, favourite dessert?

Affogato!

Brother and sister Yu and So (long)

A young man named Yu and his sister So were involved in a terrible car accident. By some horrible coincidence they both developed amnesia from the accident. So’s amnesia was only partial, remembering much about herself but unable to remember important people in her life. Yu had it much worse, as he ...

I feel depressed because I've been diagnosed with amnesia today.

I guess tomorrow I'll be over it.

My mom says she dropped me as a baby and got temporary amnesia

What a liar I think I'd remember something so huge about my life.

An engineer had a sign in front of his clinic that said, "Medical consultation for only $50. If I can't make you better, I will pay you $100."

A doctor, knowing he can stump the engineer and wanting to get some cash, goes straight to the engineer. "Hey," he says. "I lost my sense of taste. I can't taste any food anymore."

The engineer takes a small bottle from his drawer, told the doctor to take his tongue out, and put 15 drops of t...

I think my wife is suffering from Bulimic Amnesia

She keeps eating and eating and eating, and then forgetting to throw up

Ive been stupid enough to develop amnesia...

I dont know what i was thinking .....



~~*ba dum tissss*~~

An Italian man with spells of amnesia goes into a boutique coffee shop...

The barista asked what he wants, and he replies "Affogato".

Hello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you ar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went down to the basement but I can’t remember why...

I call this story Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Man walks into a restaurant

Waiter welcomes him and says:
"Hello sir, all our tables are full so you might have to wait for about 30 minutes".
"Do you know who I am?" the man replies.
"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, we'll get you a table anyways." says the waiter.

After the man has eaten his meal, waiter brings him...

A man goes to a clinic for a checkup.

"Hello doc, I'm not feeling well, my head hurts, my stomach is aching,

I have loss weight, I also have difficulty in breathing." said the man.



"Hmm, When did you first notice these symptoms?" ask the doctor.



"I don't remember, Doc." the man answers dreadfully....

All my passwords are protected

by amnesia.

What's it called when you forget you have knees?

Amnesia

A man jumps on a bed

A man jumps on a bed expecting it to be soft and fluffy...

\*Wham!\*
Instead he experienced a very firm landing.
\*Owww!\*
I think this memory foam has amnesia!

My doctor said I had a problem

He said I had amnesia or ummmmmmmm nvm I forgot

A kid asks his grandpa...

“When was the last time you had amnesia?”

He says back “I don’t remember”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Doctor posts an ad in the paper...

So... this Doctor posts an ad saying "I can cure any disease for $500. If I can't cure you, you get $1000."
So this fellow who is looking to make a quick buck figures, what the hell. Looking on the internet for a disease with no cure, he finds -Tastoritis- the inability to taste any food.
"Do...

My memory foam mattress broke yesterday...

It has amnesia

Doctor: sir I have two bad diagnoses for you...

Doctor: sir I have two bad diagnoses for you, one is that you have worst diarrhoea I have ever seen.
Patient: what's the other one then?
Doctor: you also have very bad amnesia, you can't remember anything from last 15 seconds.
Patient: well at least I don't have diarrhoea.

I seem to keep forgetting the name of the airline that does direct flights from America to Indonesia.

I think its Amnesia.

Knock Knock

Bob: Knock Knock.
Joe: Who's there.
Bob: Amnesia.
Joe: Amnesia who.
Bob: Wait, what were we talking about.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy takes his wife to the doctor

after his wife has been consulting with the doctor for 10 minutes, the doctor asks the husband for a word in private.

Doctor explains to the woman's husband, "look, its one of two possibilities, but I'm not sure which one".

Confused, the husband asks "Well what are they then?"

"...

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