What’s a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?

Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?

Elements of the periodic table are being interviewed

The interviewer asks Oxygen what they are. Oxygen says "I'm a gas."


The interviewer asks Copper what they are. Copper says "I'm a solid."


The interviewer asks Bromine what they are. Bromine says "I'm a liquid."


The interviewer asks Roentgenium what they are. Roentgen...

A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him...

The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".

I would tell a joke about the periodic table.

But sadly all the good ones argon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....

I should mind my own bismuth.

My favourite element in the periodic table is ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ

Or, as it's also known, R gone

What does Mr Krabs have to do with the periodic table?

Agagagagagagag

What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?

Au revoir.

If you ever encounter an evil witch show them the periodic table

They're good at chemistry

Eminem is that guy in chemistry class that raps the whole periodic table.

But skips Oxygen.

I periodically see my doctor and our conversations go like this...

Doc: your diet isn't great. Don't you think you should try to easy off on the salt?

Me: Na

Doc: you really should. You might develop respiratory issues and have trouble breathing.

Me: O

Doc: and try eating more fruits. They'll give you more vitamins and minerals

Me...

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!

My friend drew a giant periodic table and tripped on number 10

He's fine, but he could have hurt his Neon that

There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc...

... because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron.

How many periodic elements does it take to turn on a light?

Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.

Periodic table lesson

What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?


"He-He!"



(It's ok I know where the door is, bye)

What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?

“Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!”

The periodic table just got one block smaller

Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element

Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest?

Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...

What did the rest of the periodic table say as gold went home at the end of the day?

Au revoir!

Can we please stop posting chemistry jokes?

I keep seeing the same jokes reposted periodically.

A world renowned chemist dies.

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

What’s the North Korean leader’s favorite periodic element?

Un un quadium. Then, uranium

What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?

The atoms family.

My HS Chemistry teacher told us how to remember the periodic symbols for Silver and Gold-

If someone tried to steal your silver, you'd say A G, I lost my silver. But if someone tried to steal your gold, you'd say A U! Give me back my gold!

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table

I said "sorry, I left it atom"

What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously?

Silly-con!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can you write with a tampon?

Only periodically.

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