This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....

I should mind my own bismuth.

My favourite element in the periodic table is ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ

Or, as it's also known, R gone

What does Mr Krabs have to do with the periodic table?

Agagagagagagag

What did Gold say to the periodic table?

Hey you!

What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?

Au revoir.

Have you heard the joke about the periodic table?

It’s Oxygen Potassium.

I periodically see my doctor and our conversations go like this...

Doc: your diet isn't great. Don't you think you should try to easy off on the salt?

Me: Na

Doc: you really should. You might develop respiratory issues and have trouble breathing.

Me: O

Doc: and try eating more fruits. They'll give you more vitamins and minerals

Me...

Can we please stop posting chemistry jokes?

I keep seeing the same jokes reposted periodically.

If you ever encounter an evil witch show them the periodic table

They're good at chemistry

Eminem is that guy in chemistry class that raps the whole periodic table.

But skips Oxygen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a pirate's favorite element in the periodic table?

Gold. Why the fuck would a pirate need Argon?

My friend drew a giant periodic table and tripped on number 10

He's fine, but he could have hurt his Neon that

There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc...

... because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron.

How often are chemistry jokes posted to reddit?

Periodically

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!

How many periodic elements does it take to turn on a light?

Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.

Periodic table lesson

What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?


"He-He!"



(It's ok I know where the door is, bye)

A world renowned chemist dies.

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?

“Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!”

The periodic table just got one block smaller

Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element

I slept like a baby last night.

I woke up periodically, screaming in terror and confusion.

What did the rest of the periodic table say as gold went home at the end of the day?

Au revoir!

Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest?

Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...

What’s the North Korean leader’s favorite periodic element?

Un un quadium. Then, uranium

What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?

The atoms family.

My HS Chemistry teacher told us how to remember the periodic symbols for Silver and Gold-

If someone tried to steal your silver, you'd say A G, I lost my silver. But if someone tried to steal your gold, you'd say A U! Give me back my gold!

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table

I said "sorry, I left it atom"

What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously?

Silly-con!

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