UPJOKE
offenderabuserkillerfondlerperpetratormurdererfelonpsychopathinmatepriestburglarkidnapperescapeepedophiliathief

Molester Jokes

Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he’s looking for two child molesters.

Catholic priests looking at each other: We’ll do it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homophobe, a child molester, and a con man walk into a bar

The bartender says "What will it be, Father?"

What do you call an illegal immigrant vs. a child molester?

Alien vs. Predator.

Did you hear about child molester who plays the piano?

He was fingering a minor

what do socks and fruit molesters have in common?

They come in pairs.

Child molesters

Two priests are out driving one day, when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver, " Sorry to pull you over father, but we're currently searching for two child molesters."
The two priests turn and look at each other for a fe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many drinks would a molester, a priest and a paedophile order

One

Have you guys heard about the Sharpie molester?

Apparently he only felt tips.

Why did the jury cry at the molester’s hearing?

It was a very touching trial.

A man gets pulled over by a police car....

"Excuse me sir, we've been searching for a sheep molester in the area. We'd like to ask you a few questions, and there's a reward being offered"

The man thinks for a second, "Okay sure, it's not my thing but I'll do it"

Did you hear about the heart warming emotional testimony the molester gave at his trial?

Even the jury was touched.

what do you call someone who molests child molesters?

An apex predator

Three guys walk into a bar: an alcoholic, a priest, and a child molester...

And that's just the first guy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't they let the sex molester become an Astronaut?

They didn't want him getting near Uranus

What's the difference between acne and a child molester?

Acne waits till you are 13 to come on your face.

A kid and child molester are walking in the woods

A kid and a child molester are walking in the woods. As the sun is going down and it gets darker, the kod says, "It's getting kinda scary mister." He tells the kid, "I know. I'm the one that's gotta walk back alone."

What kind of shoes does a child molester wear?

White vans.

Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure.

^^^sorry.

What did the Jewish child molester say to the kid?

Hey kid, do you want to buy some candy?

What's the difference between a priest and a child molester?

Yeah, you don't know either huh?

Where do child molesters go to university?

Bring'em Young

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bartender is sitting alone in a newly opened bar when a priest, a paedophile and a molester walk in

And now there are two people in the bar

What do a silver medalist and a child molester have in common?

They both came in a little behind

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a child molester with a lot of cheese?

A pedophile with a feta pile

A new experimental punishment for child molesters involves chaining them to electricity-producing machines and having them work 24/7

Researcers hope to be able to generate multiple pedowatts of power.

I heard there's a new movie coming out where an illegal immigrant turns vigilante and battles a child molester...

They're calling it Alien vs Predator.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's special about twin fruit molesters?

They always cum in pears.

Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child molester...

Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.

What is the one good thing about child molesters?

They drive slowly in the school zones!

So there's a child molester and a little boy walking into the woods...

They keep walking deeper and deeper, and its getting darker and darker; scarier and scarier. Further and further they walk. The boy looks up at the child molester and says "Gee Mister, I'm getting scared." and the child molester looks down at the kid and says: "You think you're scared kid, I gotta ...

What is the default format for child molesters?

.PDF Files.

what do you call fifty child molesters walking in a straight line?

A centi-peado-file

When I was a kid the police came to the church to ask if anyone knew any child molesters.

The priests fingered me.

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.