UPJOKE
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Professor X to JK Rowling:

Professor X: "What's your power?"

JK Rowling: "I can rewrite the past of fictional characters."

Gay Professor X: "Interesting."

I didn't know JK Rowling was an audiophile, but it isn't surprising

She's obviously very opinionated about trans coding

gonna mark this for reposting :) (jk it's original)

What is a redditor's most hated fencing move?

The repost.

How does the author of Harry Potter get down a hill? By walking.

JK. Rolling

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves.




Jk, he hasn’t opened it yet.

What do you call a fake gun?

A JK-47

How I accidentally crushed a vegan customer's soul at Subway ;-;

So I work at Subway, yesterday I had a chick come in, she told me she wanted a Veggie Delight. As I went to get the bread she asked me if I could change my gloves cause she was vegan and I had been handling meat. I did that, no problem, perfectly reasonable request. I get her bread, toast it and put...

Why did the cannibal have a medieval peasant and JK Rowling over for dinner?

They wanted to eat serf and terf.

Wife (to husband): How would you describe me?

Husband: ABCDEFGHIJK.

Wife: What do you mean?

Husband: Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Funny, Graceful, Helpful, Intelligent.

Wife: What about JK?

Husband: Just Kidding.

Why are communists always late to events?

Because they’re Stallin’!

JK. It’s cause they starved to death.

Ellen Pao is actually right and we should respect her decisions

^jk ^lol

What’s a Depressed persons favorite drink?

A Depresso Espresso

Jk it’s cyanide

What did the air stewardess say after she made Abcde cry?

I JK

Where do you set your drinks when you have covid?

A coughey table.

My 3 year old just told me this. Jk, my adult brain made this dumb joke, hope it's not a repost.

With most colleges going online now, nobody is laughing at University of Phoenix anymore

jk

Where do horses go when they break their legs?

The HORSEpital hahahaha,



Jk they get shot

I lost the 2 middle keys in my keyboard

jk

Your life

Jk you’re cool

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

TIL that the toilet seat was invented by the polish people and only after 5 years the American perfected it by adding the hole in the middle.

A rough translation of a jk my dad told me

A proton walks into a bar...

jk protons can't walk

I remember doing security at the Brits a few years back when it all kicked off between Steps and Jamiroquai

I was the only thing between H and JK

How many HK protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick Question: They can't change anything.

Jk dont take this seriously plz

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well!

Jk some kids pushed him

Yesterday i said I would write two jokes

jokes jokes




Jk anti vaxers and flat Earth people

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so gay

I'm so gay, JK Rowling actually just revealed I was straight all along

I just got married and I am scared of the statistics..

I'm not sure if I should be more worried about that 40-50% of marriages end in divorce or that 50-60% of all marriages last..

Jk honey, I love you. ^^^^^help

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