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Amd Jokes

Why did Kylo Ren pick Nvidia over AMD?

Because it has better REY tracing....

What did Jesus say when he switched from Intel to AMD?

Do not mourn me for I have Ryzen.

An Amazon driver stopped amd asked me what time it was the other day

I told him it was between 4 and 7

What's the difference between an enzyme amd a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme!

AMD is red, Intel is blue,

I choose i7 because Ryzen are few.

I was upset when my AMD CPU died but...

Everything happens for a Ryzen.

Everyone. I got stuff from AMD.

My vision's getting hazy. I think I'm going blind.

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Nelson Mandela amd the delivery guu

One day Nelson Mandela is at home chilling out max and relaxing all cool when there is a knock at the door. Nelson gets up and answers the door to find a little Japanese guy on his doorstep with a great big car transporter full of brand new cars parked on his drive. As soon as the door opens the Jap...

I love my new AMD processor!

It's phenomal!

I tried to get my mom to switch from AMD to Intel...

...but I couldn't Celeron it.

A cop amd a little girl

A Cop on horse says to little girl on bike,

"Did Santa get you that?"

"Yes," replies the little girl.

"Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.

The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa b...

A smart scientist amd a blonde girl sit down on a plane.

A very smart man boards a plane and sits down.
A blond girl sits next to him.

He is bored so he says to her

"Let's play a game, I give you a riddle if you cannot find the answer you pay me 5 dollars. If you answer it though you give me a riddle and I don't answer it I'll give you 30...

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What's the difference between black people amd snow tires?

Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them.

I like to copy forum posts from Intel forums to Amd forums. People call me a reposter,

But actually I'm a threadripper.

An Irishman walks into a bar amd orders three pints of Guiness.

He takes them to a table and takes a drink from each one, alternating cups until all of them are empty.

He comes back the next week and does the same. Three pints and takes a drink from each until they are all gone.

The third time he comes in the barman, curious, asks why he drinks lik...

What do Justin Bieber and an AMD laptop have in common

The fans are going wild

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul.

Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

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A man amd his wife walk into a store and the wife steals a jar of peaches

Loss prevention catches her however, and pulls them aside to wait for a police officer to show up. Upon arrival, he is told what happened and handed the jar. He then counts how many slices of peach there are, for she is to spend a week in jail for each one. In this case 6. The officer then pulls out...

Mom and Dad go away on vacation

Mom called her son every day to see how everything is going at home.

Her son explains "Hi Mom, mostly fine here - but the cat died on Monday."

Mom was distraught: "How can you break news like this to me so nonchalantly!? Are you a psychopath??"

The son replies "I'm sorry Mom, I ...

and God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of world...

...then God made the Earth round..and he laughed and laughed.

Little Suzy had 13 children.

Her husband died and she remarried and had 10 more children.

That husband died and she remarried and had 8 more children.

It was finally time for Suzy to pass away and the preacher was standing at her casket amd said "it's great! they'll finally be together".

One guy says "I w...

There are 10 types of people on this planet..

Those who understand binary amd those who don't.

A mans car breaks down near a monastery.

Greeted by monks, they offer him shelter for the night and to fix his car. While sleeping in the spare bedroom, he hears a knock on the wall

*Thud*

He asked them the next day while they treated him to breakfast in bed. What was the knock?

"We can't tell you, you're not a monk."<...

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey.

The bartender says "get that monkey out of here, no animals allowed in the bar!" The man says, "he is very well trained, let him stay". The bartender nods and says, "what'll it be?". The man orders a beer, amd then a few more. After he's good and drink he slides a beer to his monkey. The monkey down...

Three men walked to the top of a slide

At the top of the slide there was a wizard.

“Say what you wish for and you shall receive your wish at the bottem of the slide” said the wizard.

The first man slid down and shouted “SILVER” and at the bottem was alot of silver.

The seceond man slid down and shouted “GOLD” and ...

An elderly couple. A long one but good

An elderly couple is worried that they are starting to fprget simple things, so they go to a doctor for a check up.

The doctor looks them over top to bottom but doesn't find anything.
"It seems you two are perfectly fine so all that I can suggest is anytime you want to remember somethin...

Indian who remembers everything

A man was driving on his way to a business meeting amd had free time. He seen a billboard that said "Indian who remembers everything. Take next right."

The man decides to a pulls up. He sees and old Indian man sitting in front of a camper in a lawn chair. He walks up to him "how" and raises h...

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In an Asylum

5 people gather toghther to have a chat, among those people are, a necrophile, a zooophile, a sadist, a murderer and a masochist. The zoophile speaks and says to the others "Man i really want to fuck a cat" the other look at at him and decide to add in on the conversation, the Sadist then comes and ...

A few weeks ago I hit a pig on my way home from work...

It was dark. I live in a rural part of the south and my drive home takes me down some country backroads.

I wasn't going very fast but when I hit it it flew down the road a few yards. I went to check on it amd it got up and ran away. Today I got the veterinarian bill from the pigs owner. I we...

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Grandpa's death

After grandpa's death i went to grandma's house to comfort her. I asked her how did that happen.

Grandma: " He died from a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Shocked, i told her that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble....

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So, a very muscular white man seems like he's drinking too much..

He's a regular at this bar, so the bartender, Jerry, knows him well. The man keeps pounding back shots, one after another.

"Come on Jerry, another one and I can run around the block."

Jerry pours another, and the man throws it back

"Man, just one more and I can run a whole mara...

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Dwarfs

A man is driving along a road after doing grocery when a red dwarf jumps in front of his car. His car screeches to a halt and the dwarf says: "im a red dwarf and asshole and if you dont give me all your strawberries then i wont move out of the way." The man reluctantly hands over the strawberries th...

An old man...

Was going down to an old 'Vette dealership. His whole life he had wanted an old Corvette Convertible and he has just enough money afterwards for a full tank of gas. So he starts driving and hes going the speed limit.

"Man this feels great!" So he give it a little more.

"This is amazing...

Why God created the man in the form he is?

When God created the donkey and told him:

\- You're gonna be working all day long and you'll carry the heaviest loads on your back. You'll eat grass and you won't be so smart. You'll live 50 years.

Then the donkey said:

\- 50 years of the kind of life and suffering is a lot. Giv...

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A man walks into a bar (reddit version)

A man walks into a bar, sits and asks for a beer. The barman looks at him, and tries to start a conversation.
"What's your job, my fellow?"
"I'm a comedian" says the man, looking down and avoiding the barman eyes.
"Absolutely fantastic! My costumers are always depressed and sad-looking, p...

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There was this old Irish couple...

The husband is sitting at home, watching tv. The wife comes in the door from her doctor's appointment. Husband looks up and asks, "How did the doc go?"


She says "It went foin, but ah got embarrassed before it ended."


He says, " Whatcha get embarrassed fer?"


She says ...

Rabbi in a restaurant...

There once was a rabbi who had been a rabbi for many years and, all his life, he'd tried to be a good Jew. He obeyed the ten commandments, he read the Torah frequently and he kept kosher– but, secretly, he'd always wanted to try pork.


Everybody made so much fuss about pork and bacon and h...

The Olympics of who has more children.

A battle between an American, a Brit, and a Filipino.

It's a competition of who has the most number of children the story of how the Filipino beat the American and a Brit.


It's the Olympics and a lot of audience gathered in a dome, a massive 80,000-seater oval dome. All seats are...

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