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Cons Jokes

What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch...

But on the other hand, you have a watch.

My friend used to run a website where he discussed the pros and cons of taking different hallucinogenic drugs.

He was the original trip advisor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been contemplating the pros and cons of masturbation.

On the one hand, it feels good.
On the other, not so much.

What’s the difference between ex-cons and a congressmen?

Every once in a while an ex-con passes few good bills.

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Pros and cons

Pros of dating men: Their dicks.

Cons of dating men: They're dicks.

Pros vs. Cons

If pro means good and con means bad and if progress means to move forward, then what the hell does congress mean?

There are pros and cons to getting married...

On one hand you get to wear a ring, on the other hand, you don't.

Pros and cons of working as the prison librarian.

Pros: prose. Cons: cons.

Con is the opposite of pro, and con is bad.

So if we want to turn the constitution into something better, then we should change it to...

Two ex-cons talk to each other. The younger one says: "I was in for drugs. What did you do?"

The older man answers: "I was jailed for something I didn't do."

The young guy, intrigued, asks: "What was that? Did they set you up?"

The older shrugs: "Nah, I just didn't run fast enough."

Investing in an assisted suicide centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

I want to weigh the pros and cons of becoming a veterinarian,

On one hand you get bitten a lot
And on the other hand you get bitten less.


This is my first joke submission, I do like a good groaner.

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I was asked to participate in a debate in front of a large crowd of people about the pros and cons of masturbation.

I showed up totally unprepared, as I’ve never been much of a mass debater.

What's the difference between prostitution and constitution?

Well, one has its pros and the other has its cons.

A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St...

I have been weighing the pros and cons about reading poetry to prisoners.

Pros: prose
Cons: cons

I just got a new job teaching English at a maximum security prison. It's going to be tough but like any other job out there.....

It'll have its prose and cons.

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If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your ...

Obama bans hiring bias against ex-cons seeking federal jobs

He was quoted as says, "well, we politicians need somewhere to work after leaving office".

A man has the opportunity to win a million dollars if he can cross lake Superior in a 16 foot sailboat...

The people sponsoring the challenge give the man two choices of what he can bring on the boat to assist him. He can either bring a large box of novels or two criminals. However, the people running the competition get to choose what the books are and who the criminals are.

The man realizes the...

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.

The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet hi...

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What is the difference between a 'pro,' and a 'con?'

I wouldn't pay a constitute to piss on me.

How do we know these words are opposites?

They are derived from progress and congress.

I'm thinking of starting a reading program for inmates...

...but I'm still figuring out the prose and cons.

Pros of my high school years: I graduated top of my class, was voted prom king, and hooked up with the hottest girl in my grade.

Cons of my high school years: my twin sister and I were homeschooled.

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